“What does he look like now?”

“Ah, that’s interesting! He looks as if he’s been very ill—no question about that—but not much worse than when we saw him in Sardinia. I was expecting much worse; I was sure he’d be dead. But for a time when I first saw him in Venice, I thought he might actually be getting better.”

“Does he still have the dreams?”

“Yes, but recently he’s been able to understand some of the answers. That’s why he hasn’t gotten any worse. Unbelievable, but he’s actually been able to do it. He also said he’s been reading all the literature he can find on death and dying. One of the things he’s discovered is that sometimes the terminally ill come to a kind of peace once they accept that they are going to die. That was one of the fundamental changes for Ian: now in his dreams, he isn’t angry anymore at Death for what He’s doing to him. He says that anger wastes vital and important life energy. He’s simply trying now to find the right questions to ask so that he can keep Him from taking away any more things.”

I didn’t say a word, because I had not had that experience. For me, Death was as viciously sadistic as the worst criminal and I hated Him more than ever. My life had become worse and more painfully beautiful as the end closed in. Besides the never-ending fear of the coming unknown, the details of the world I would soon leave were now more wonderful than ever. Each day I lived, my heart grew more love for what I was losing. That wasn’t fair. Wasn’t right. One or the other, Death. Take your pick, but don’t take them both. Leave me with something at my end.

“Ian’s learned, even in sleep, to ask only certain questions, small ones that’ll bring answers he can understand.”

“Like what?”

“He couldn’t tell me. Or wouldn’t. He’s convinced that the more he tells, the more things will worsen. Sardinia convinced him of that.”

“Why hasn’t Miep been infected? Why you and not her?”

“He doesn’t know, but thinks it’s because of love. There is definitely a correlation between really loving someone and keeping Death away.”

“So you’re not worried about Caitlin?”

“She’s the only thing I ever have loved in my life, Wyatt. No, I’m terrified for her, but I must talk with someone about this or I’ll be lost. I have to believe what Ian said about love.”

“Why do you want to talk to me?”

“Because McGann said you’d be coming and that we’re important to each other.”

I snapped to attention. “He knew? How?”

“In a dream he saw you here in Vienna with me. He also knew I would go looking for him. Besides the evil things, his dreams have become more prophetic. The way he looks and talks, he even reminds you of a Greek prophet. Like Tiresias in Oedipus Rex. You know, in those ancient stories seers are almost always blind or handicapped in some way. That’s what allows them to perceive and understand things we can’t.”

“What did he say about me?”

“He described you in detail and said you’d be in Vienna by the time I returned. I swear to you I had no idea you and Sophie were coming.”

“Why? Why is he dreaming about me now?”

“Because you’re the only person who can save me, Wyatt. You’re the only person who can stop the dreams from killing me.”

“How?”

“By finding Death. That’s what you want anyway, isn’t it? That’s why you came with Sophie?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Sure you do.” I waited for him to go on but he only looked at his bird book and slid a hand back and forth across the cover.

“What are you saying, Jesse?”

His mouth tightened, and when he looked at me, his face was set in fury. “You said you didn’t want to waste time! Okay, fine, Wyatt, so let’s talk about what happened to you before you came here. Let’s talk about that cop you met in the store and what he said to you. Okay? Let’s talk about that.”

“How do you know—”

“I don’t. Ian did. He knows all of it now. He’s this wonderful sick man who’s fighting the most impossible battle, yet has time to worry about me. And he worries about you. He knew about you. That’s what I’m trying to say—he can see things now.”

“He’s also the one who made them happen! What about that, Jesse? So what if he can see? He’s the one who infected you.”

“Maybe we’ve got to wash our attitudes.”

“Watch our—”

“I said wash, not watch. Maybe what lan’s done is save me. Maybe it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“You’ll have to explain that one. I don’t see dying as being a best thing.”

“Do you have courage, Wyatt? Are you a courageous man?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been in a position to find out.”

“Neither have I. But wait a minute. May I read you something else? It’s important.”

“All right.”

He sat unmoving for a moment, as if making a decision, then got up and took another book from a nearby table. “How’s your Bible knowledge these days?”

I shook my head.

“Listen to this.

“ ‘And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the break of the day.

“ ‘And when the man saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob’s thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.

“ ‘And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And Jacob said, I will not let you go, except thou bless me.

“ ‘And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob.

“ ‘And the man said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel; for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed.

“ ‘And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And the man said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there.

“ ‘And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel; for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.’ ”

Jesse closed the book. “It’s one of those famous stories we learn as kids and end up ignoring for the rest of our lives. But I think this says it all. These dreams have been forced on Ian and me. You are being ‘forced’ to die of cancer. They are the same thing. None of us is prepared for the challenge. One minute we’re alone, the next we’re wrestling with a stranger intent on hurting us. No matter what kinds of lives we’ve lived, we’ve never been forced to ‘wrestle’ with anything until now. Can we do it? Do we have any strength? Do we know even one hold? Who knows?

“Now look at Jacob. He didn’t know either, but he dropped everything and jumped right in. One minute he’s traveling with his family, the next he’s wrestling with a total stranger. Then it turns out he’s a good wrestler and can fight this angel or whatever it is to a draw. To fight. I never understood the point of the story, though I’ve been reading the Bible my entire adult life. Courage. Courage means facing what you have to and doing it with no hope that you’ll succeed. ‘For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.’ That has got to mean something.”

“But it isn’t God we’re wrestling,” I interjected. “It’s Death! He’s not going to bless us or let us go. He’ll kill the three of us. There’s no way to wrestle Death to the ground or understand Him. There’s only suffering and fear. We’re beaten before we start.”

“Not true! Not if you accept the challenge; not if you’re willing to wrestle. Doesn’t matter if this stranger is God or an angel or Death. If we lie down and say, ‘You win. I quit!’ then we are doomed. Look at me.” He pulled his sweater over his head and pointed to a bandaged shoulder. “I’m getting the same scars as Ian. I’m terrified to fall asleep. Your wounds are inside. There’s no difference; both are deadly. But what if we try to stop our fear and try instead to understand? Only by accepting the challenge did Jacob come to understand who his opponent really was. And he won! He fought an angel to a draw.”