Q. I am employed by a large corporation, and I work in an office where my primary responsibility is to discuss “General Hospital” with Helen and Louise. As you can imagine, this does not involve a great deal of physical activity, and I have, quite frankly, developed a rear end which could serve as a bulldozer-flotation device. So I was wondering if you can suggest any kind of fitness program that a person can do at her desk.

A. Certainly. Each morning, during a quiet period, quietly slip off your shoes, push your chair away from your desk, and engage in five minutes of gentle stretching, followed by five minutes each of toe touches, dressage, the luge, and the 400-meter butterfly. Of course, some of these activities may require minor changes in your office routine, to allow for such things as feeding the horse, but I’m sure your employer will have no objection once you threaten to file a gigantic class-action suit alleging you are being discriminated against on the basis of being pear-shaped.

A

“All My Children,” 199

American Beet Farmer, 259

Arbor Day, 238

B

Bertha the Amazing Land Whale, 201-202

C

Carp, giant, 227

Clinic, Dr. Ted, 265

Communists, 188

F

Ford, Gerald, 193

Frequent Casual Motel Sex Diet, The, 246

G

Godzilla, 261

Gone With the Wind, 198

H

Hummocks, 226

J

Jacks, Cracker, 190

M

Manilow, Barry, 211

Mister Sphincter, 198

N

Nature, Mother, 196

Newton, Wayne, 241

O

Oyl, Olive, 214

P

Plenty, Good’n’, 240

R

Rabbits, diseased baby, 197

S

Social Democrats, 235

T

Trigger, 242

V

Viewfinder, Ernst, 246

W

Whack-a-Mole-Game-Machine Maintenance School, 258