A

Asia, lack of storage space in, 52

Avocado, ugliness of, 82

B

Bats, rabid, 43

Beam, Jim, 64

“Beaver, Leave It to,” 34

Bomb

cherry, 27

hydrogen,63

Blimp, Goodyear, 16

Blood

coming down stairs, 12

congealed oxen, 54

of primitive person, 2

c

Californians, 58

Cattle prod, 52

Chablis, 8

Chinese Communists, 19

Cleveland, Grover, 63

Comets, 40

Corsage, in toilet, 27

D

Debentures

and wood, 10

and transmissions, 78

Demons

and caulking, 36

and electricity, 12

Dinette table, enormous cats on, 12

Diseases

horrible lingering, 15

tropical, 8

Dogs, importance of keeping solder off, 61

Droppings, rodent, 29

E

Egypt, Great Pyramids of, 40

Eisenhower administration, 14

Elk, 71

Elkhart, Indiana, 22

F

Flamethrower, 24

Forefathers, our hardy, 84

Forklift, 52

Frenchmen relieving themselves on Germany, 26

G

Germans relieving themselves on France, 26

H

Hackensack, New Jersey, 12

Haddock, 18

Hordes, marauding barbarian, 46

Horizon, the, 46

Horror, The Amityville, 12

J

Jerky, beef, 15

Jupiter, planet of, 45

L

“Laverne and Shirley,” 58

Lint balls, 61

Lobsters, relentless motion of, 18

M

Maine, coast of, 48

Malted milk balls, 6

Memory, random access, 86

Middle East crisis, 44

Mincing, 28

Motors, General, 81

Murderers

ax, 31

mass, 58

Muskrat, 84

Mutant microorganisms, 60

N

Narcotic substances, 50, 87

Needles, red-hot knitting, 69

Neptune, planet of, 6

Newsweek magazine, 50

Nuts, granola-oriented ecology, 34

P

Pastries, gardening with, 71

Pool, bumper, 32

Puppies, heat being sucked out of, 40

R

Raisinets, 6

S

“Shirley, Laverne and,” 58

Sistine Chapel, 81

Solar systems, other, 78

Spiders, vicious, 23

Spittoon, brains of, 60

T

tarantulas, 40

Tentacles, tree, 37

Toads, 67

Toilet, Sir Robert, 26

Tonic, gin and, 44

Tripe, 8

Truncheons, 5

Turtles, plumbing and, 27

U

U.S. Constitution, color schemes allowed by, 83

W

War, nuclear, 15

Wayne, John, 76

Winter, Old Man, 45

Worms, earth, 32, 69

Z

Zucchini, 72