Everybody lies about sex.

If men were the automatons that behaviorists claim they are, the behaviorist psychologists could not have invented the amazing nonsense called "behaviorist psychology." So they are wrong from scratch -- as clever and as wrong as phlogiston chemists.

The shamans are forever yacking about their snake-oil "miracles." I prefer the Real McCoy -- a pregnant woman.

If the universe has any purpose more important than topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I've never heard of it.

Thou shalt remember the Eleventh Commandment and keep it Wholly.

A touchstone to determine the actual worth of an "intellectual" -- find out how he feels about astrology.

Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.

There is no such thing as "social gambling." Either you are there to cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it -- or you are a sucker. If you don't like this choice, don't gamble.

When the ship lifts, all bills are paid. No regrets.

The first time I was a drill instructor I was too inexperienced for the job -- the things I taught those lads must have got some of them killed. War is too serious a matter to be taught by the inexperienced.

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

Money is the sincerest of all flattery. Women love to be flattered. So do men.

You live and learn. Or you don't live long.

Whenever women have insisted on absolute equality with men, they have invariably wound up with the dirty end of the stick. what they are and what they can do makes them superior to men, and their proper tactic is to demand special privileges, all the traffic will bear. They should never settle merely for equality. For women, "equality" is a disaster.

Peace is an extension of war by political means. Plenty of elbow room is pleasenter -- and much safer.

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.

"Supernatural" is a null word.

The phrase "we (I)(you) simply must -- " designates something that need not be done. "That goes without saying" is a red warning.

"Of course" means you had best check it yourself. These small-change cliches and others like them, when read correctly, are reliable channel markers.

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.

Rub her feet.

If you happen to be one of the fretful minority who can do creative work, never force an idea; you'll abort it if you do.

Be patient and you'll give birth to it when the time is ripe.

Learn to wait.

Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs -- sex especially. When they are growing up, they are nerve ends all over, and resent (quite properly) any invasion of their privacy.

Oh, sure, they'll make mistakes -- but that's their business, not yours. (You made your own mistakes, did you not?)

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she's not.

If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. there may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote FOR... but there are certain to be ones you wish to vote AGAINST. In case of doubt, vote AGAINST. By this rule you will rarely go wrong.

If this is too blind for your taste, consult some well-meaning fool (there is always one around) and ask his advice. then vote the other way. this enables you to be a good citizen (if such is your wish) without spending the enormous amount of time on it that truly intelligent exercise of franchise requires.

Sovereign ingredient for happy marriage: Pay cash or do without. Interest charges not only eat up a household budget; awareness of debt eats up domestic felicity.

Those who refuse to support and defend a state have no claim to protection by that state. Killing an anarchist or a pacifist should not be defined as "murder" in a legalistic sense. The offense against the state, if any, should be "using deadly weapons inside city limits," or "Creating a traffic hazard," or "Endangering bystanders," or other misdemeanor.

However, the state may reasonably place a closed season on these exotic asocial animals whenever they are in danger of becoming extinct. an authentic buck pacifist has rarely been seen off Earth and it is doubtful that any have survived the troubles there...regrettable, as they had the biggest mouths and the smallest brains of any of the primates.

the small-mouthed variety of anarchist has spread through the galaxy at the very wave front of the Diaspora; there is no need to protect them. But they often shoot back.

Another ingredient for a happy marriage: budget the luxuries FIRST!

And still another: See to it that she has her own desk -- then keep your hands off it!

And another: In a family argument, if it turns out you are right -- apologize at once!

"God split himself into myriad parts that he might have friends." This may not be true but it sounds good -- and is no sillier than any other theology.

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

Does history record ANY case in which the majority was right?

When the fox gnaws -- Smile!

A "critic" is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified to judge the work of creative men. There is a logic in this: he is unbiased -- he hates all creative people equally.

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you.

Only a sadistic scoundrel -- or a fool -- tells the bald truth on social occasions.

This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother's side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds happiness in a world in which happiness is always in short supply.

In handling a stinging insect, move very slowly.

To be "matter of fact" about the world is to blunder into fantasy -- and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.

The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning, while those other subjects merely require scholarship.

Copulation is spiritual in essence -- or it is merely friendly exercise. On second thought, strike out "merely" -- even when it is just a happy pastime for two strangers. But copulation at its spiritual best is so much more than physical coupling that it is different in kind as well as degree.