I came back to myself still in Lugh’s living room, the afghan tucked comfortably under my chin as the fire did its best to dispel the lingering chill. I shivered and clutched the blanket around me, wondering if I would ever get warm again.

Anger usually warms me up great, so I tried to summon a healthy dose of indignation to throw at Lugh. I didn’t know exactly what he’d done to me to break the walls around those memories, but it had been a dirty trick. I turned to look at him, ready to let loose with some choice words, but none would come to me. My skin still crawled with the remembered sensation of the demon trying to get inside me, and I shuddered. No wonder demonic possession had been my worst nightmare after that little episode! And how ironic to discover I apparently owed my life to Raphael’s mercy. If you’d have asked me before, I’d have sworn he wouldn’t hesitate to kill someone so potentially dangerous, even if I was only a child. And if my parents made trouble, he could have killed them, too.

Lugh drew me into his arms, and I was too miserable and shaken to object. His body was a solid, protective wall of warmth, and he smelled delicious. I closed my eyes and buried my head against his shoulder. His hair tickled my cheek as he rubbed his chin on the top of my head.

“You bastard,” I mumbled into his shoulder, and his arms tightened around me.

“I’m sorry. But your defenses were weakened. I had to find out what happened before you shored them up again.”

“You shouldn’t have made me remember that.” My words probably would have had more conviction if I weren’t cuddled in his arms at the moment, but I needed the comfort too much to pull away.

His fingers caressed my hair, my neck, my back. “I did what I had to do. And whatever you might think, keeping that memory locked away and not dealing with it is not the best way to heal.”

I shook my head. “So you did it to heal me? Is that what you’re saying?”

His regretful sigh made me feel childish. “You know why I did it.” His hand cupped my cheek, and he pushed me away a bit so he could look into my eyes. “You’ll be all right,” he assured me, giving me a gentle smile that warmed me in ways the fire couldn’t. “You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

I closed my eyes. It was so easy to fall under his spell, to let myself relax and open up in his presence. Something deep inside me longed to let go completely, to entrust myself entirely to his care—to stop always being so vigilant and guarded. But while the idea tempted me, it also scared the shit out of me. My experiences in life had taught me that you trusted people at your own peril, and I was determined not to endanger myself.

I started to pull away from him, trying to disentangle my body from his while searching out the familiar anger that had always served as my most effective shield. But he just held me tighter, until I could barely move. My eyes popped open.

“What are you doing?” I asked, and my voice was little more than a squeak.

His sensuous lips curved into a smile, but he didn’t say anything. Holding the back of my head, he bent his own head toward me. With a shock, I realized he was planning to kiss me.

Once again, I tried to pull away, a little harder this time. But his grip was like iron. If he didn’t want me to move, I wasn’t moving. The thought sent a chill of fear down my spine. If there was anything I hated, it was feeling helpless.

He hovered in front of me, lips maybe an inch from mine, his unique, spicy scent flooding my senses as he draped one leg over me to hold me even more securely, intensifying my feeling of being trapped. My heart thudded awkwardly in my chest, and my breaths came quick and short. Goose bumps prickled my skin, and I think I was even trembling.

But as he closed that final distance between us, as his lips touched mine, I felt a fire burning low in my belly. I made an incoherent sound, half protest, half pleasure, as he feathered kisses over my lips. I wanted to tell him to get the hell off me, but when I opened my mouth to say the words, nothing came out. I tried once more to squirm out of his grip, but I couldn’t. And though it seemed completely out of place in this context, a bolt of arousal shot through me. He took advantage of what he must have considered an invitation and slid his tongue into my mouth.

I continued to struggle as he tasted the inside of my mouth with gentle, delicate licks. A moan rose from my throat, and even I could hear the longing in that sound. If I really wanted him to stop, all I had to do was close my mouth. Hell, a tough broad like me should feel no compunction about biting his tongue to give him the message. It wasn’t like his was a real body anyway.

That wasn’t what I did.

When Lugh’s tongue stroked mine, I felt like my body might melt with the pleasure of it. He tasted so damn good I thought I’d never get enough, a bouquet of flavors I’d never get tired of sampling. His lips were soft and moist, his body a reassuring cocoon of warmth surrounding me. I abandoned myself to his kiss, my tongue tangling with his, my teeth nibbling at his lips.

My brain took a vacation. I forgot all the hell that he’d brought into my life. I forgot the childhood trauma he’d just forced me to dredge up. I forgot that he’d driven my body while I was asleep, and seduced me for his own purposes. All I could think of was how my body burned for him. I drowned in the pleasure of his kiss, abandoning a part of myself in the process.

I don’t know how long it was before he broke the kiss. I think it was a long time. Although I couldn’t miss his massive erection with his leg over mine, he hadn’t even tried for second base, much less a home run—though I think I was far enough gone to let him do just about anything.

When he released me, my first reaction was a mew of protest. I was hot and wet and achy, and I wanted more.

He smiled gently at me. “Enough for now,” he murmured. “You would hate me if I took further advantage.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to assure him that I would do no such thing. I was ready to say whatever it would take to keep his lips on mine. But as he gave me space and freedom to move, my brain cells started firing again and I recoiled.

“You bastard!” I said, with more conviction than the last time.

He gave me a knowing look that reminded me how much I’d enjoyed that kiss, whether I’d wanted it or not.

“In the morning,” he said, “I’d like you to arrange to speak with Raphael. Whatever it is he’s hiding, it’s time for it to come out in the open.”

I let him distract me, because in truth I didn’t want to talk about—or think about—how very easily I could lose myself to him.

“For all I know, you could be calling him right this moment,” I muttered sourly.

“That would be difficult, as I don’t know his new host’s phone number. However, Andrew might have it on his cell phone.”

“Oh.”

“If there’s any chance you could let me do the talking…” He took one look at my face, then shrugged. “I know you’re still uncomfortable with the idea of ceding control to me, but—”

“Uncomfortable doesn’t begin to describe it!” I remembered Adam’s description of being dropped into an oubliette when his demon didn’t want to hear from him. Lugh was a nice guy—for a demon—but I knew if he had cause, he wouldn’t hesitate to do the same to me. Just one more reason why I could never again let him take control of me.

Lugh acted as if I hadn’t spoken. “But he’s more likely to talk to me than you.”

I remembered Andy’s description of the brothers’ relationship, and I doubted Lugh was right on that count. From what I knew of Raphael, he wasn’t likely to talk to either one of us.

“I’m not letting you take control,” I said. “You know that already, so don’t waste your breath arguing.”