Lugh shook his head, looking disappointed in me. “Don’t you think it would be better if you could let me take control sometimes? As long as you’re hosting me, you’ll be in danger. If Dougal’s minions attack you, wouldn’t you like to be able to let me take over and protect you?”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Nice try, but I’m not buying. We’ve already established that I can find a way to let you in when there’s a dire emergency.” Such as having a mob of fanatics about to burn me at the stake. “That doesn’t mean I have to let you in for a freakin’ conversation.”

“Do you remember how hard it was for me to take over?” he asked. “Do you know how close you came to burning? If Raphael hadn’t goaded us both so much, it might not have happened. The next time you’re in danger, you might not have that long.”

And wasn’t that just a cheery thought!

He had a point, and I knew it. He could protect me in ways I could never do for myself. But the price was just too steep.

“You still don’t trust me,” Lugh said, sounding hurt.

Instinct told me to rush in with reassurances, to soothe the hurt in his voice. But even if he couldn’t read everything I felt, I would have squelched that instinct. He deserved honesty from me. He’d earned that, at least.

I met his gaze and raised my chin. “No, I don’t trust you. Not that much. I’m never going to trust you that much. I’m sorry.”

Something stirred in those dark amber eyes of his, but I couldn’t have said what. Hurt, anger, exasperation, cunning? A combination of all, or maybe none of the above.

“It saddens me to hear that,” he finally said.

I was still fumbling for the proper retort when the room faded to black and dreamless sleep overtook me.

I woke up the next morning feeling exhausted, even though I’d slept till nearly eleven. Lugh had left me alone after our chat, and I’d gotten plenty of sleep. But the emotional baggage was taking its toll. Everything about me felt heavy, from my eyelids to my heart, and I wondered how much more of this I could take.

I spent what little remained of the morning chugging coffee. When I’d drunk more cups than I wanted to count, I felt tired and jittery at the same time. Not an improvement.

Still, if I waited until I felt great to get in touch with Raphael, I doubted I’d get it done in this lifetime. I scarfed down a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in hopes that it might absorb some of the caffeine, then called Andy.

He was cool and aloof with me, still angry, but he checked his cell phone and was able to give me the number Raphael had called from. Naturally, I asked if he’d heard from his former demon again. He said no, but I wasn’t sure I believed him. It didn’t matter, because he was obviously anxious to get me off the phone, and I wasn’t up to a round of twenty questions.

The food didn’t seem to be helping the jitters, and I wished I’d shown a little more restraint when slurping cup after cup of coffee. I dialed the number Andy had given me. Of course I didn’t recognize the voice that answered.

“Raphael?” I asked.

“Ah, Morgan,” he said, confirming his identity. “So good to hear from you. Or am I speaking to Lugh, in which case it’s even better?”

“It’s Morgan, and I have some questions for you.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“How did Der Jäger get into Dr. Neely? And who’s hosting you now?”

Raphael hesitated. I figured he was trying to decide what he was willing to tell me—which would be only what he thought I could figure out for myself.

“I made the mistake of admitting to my supposed coconspirators that I was going to meet you as Dr. Neely,” he finally said. “The Powers That Be decided that was the perfect opportunity to get Der Jäger in past your defenses, so I moved into another host so that Der Jäger could have Neely.”

I shuddered. “Dr. Neely was a human being. You’re talking about him like he was a widget invented for your personal use. And why the hell did you let Der Jäger take him? Don’t you outrank these mysterious Powers That Be?”

“If I’d refused, I’d have had to say why. No one would have believed me if I’d claimed to be defending poor Dr. Neely’s rights. I did the best I could under the circumstances, which was to call and warn Andrew as soon as I had the privacy to do so.”

“Yeah, that was really nice of you. You’re a real prince.” I regretted the choice of words—because, of course, he was a real prince.

He sighed. “One wonders why I bother helping you and Lugh when all I get for my troubles is scorn and insults. I’m doing the best I can, but that’s never good enough, is it?”

“Every time I start to feel sorry for you, I remember some of the terrible things you’ve done and the feeling goes away.”

“Bitch,” he said, but he sounded more resigned than angry. “If I had any sense, I’d give up on you and throw in with Dougal for real. It certainly would make my life easier.”

“So why don’t you?” I asked, genuinely curious.

He laughed. “That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? If I figure it out, I’ll let you know, but right now I’m not in the mood for soul searching. I thought you should know that Der Jäger won’t be bothering you again anytime soon. His orders were to kill Lugh and to be inconspicuous, and he’s failed on both counts. Dougal has locked him up again, and I suspect this time he’ll throw away the key. One less thing to worry about, though I’m sure Dougal will come up with something else unpleasant. He’s nothing if not creative.”

That should have been good news indeed, only it opened up a whole other line of questioning. “How the hell would you know that? There’s no direct communication between the Demon Realm and the Mortal Plain.” At least there wasn’t as far as I knew.

“True, but there’s plenty of indirect communication, and when you’re the regent’s brother, you get the best gossip. Perhaps this will remind you why it’s a good thing to have a man on the inside, even if the things I do to keep my cover don’t meet with your wholehearted approval.”

I wisely let that one slide. “We still need to talk.”

“So talk.”

I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see it. “This isn’t a conversation to have over the phone. Can you come to my apartment?”

“I can. But I won’t.”

“Excuse me?”

“How exactly am I supposed to explain that I’m popping in to visit with you? Andrew’s no longer staying with you, and I’m no longer Dr. Neely.”

“You can say you’re coming to force me to tell you who’s now hosting Lugh. Or who hosted him right after me.”

Raphael chuckled. “So I should come over to torture you? Sounds like fun.”

“It’s not like it would be the first time,” I said before thinking it through.

I hoped he would assume I was talking about the burning-at-the-stake incident, but the deafening silence on the other end of the line told me no such luck. I listened to the drumbeat of my heart as I tried to think of some way to explain away my words, but nothing came to mind. I sighed.

“I guess we’ll do this on the phone after all,” I said.

“I gather you’ve been doing some digging.”

I couldn’t tell from his tone of voice what he thought about my digging. Was he worried about what I’d learned? “Lugh helped me access some repressed memories. Your name came up.”

“There are times when I fervently wish neither of my brothers had been born.”

“I’m sure the feeling is mutual.”

“I never tortured you, Morgan. I may not win any Humanitarian of the Year awards, but even I would not stoop so low as to torture a child. It hadn’t occurred to me that a drugged thirteen-year-old would actually resist. I didn’t know the methods Cooper and Neely used until afterward.”

“Ignorance is bliss, huh?”

“For what little it’s worth, I’m sorry. As you know, I have no qualms about necessary evils, but what they did to you was unnecessary. You did not have to summon a demon yourself for the purposes of the experiment.”