‘The bastard tried to lure you away?’ said Ridcully. ‘How sharper than aserpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless Dean! Is there nothing he will notstoop to? How much did—’

‘I didn’t ask,’ said Ponder quietly.

There was a moment of silence and then Ridcully patted him a couple of times onthe shoulder.

‘The problem with Mister Nutt is that people want to kill him.’

‘What people?’

Ridcully stared into Ponder’s eyes. His lips moved. He squinted up and downlike a man engaged in complex calculation. He shrugged.

‘Probably everybody,’ he said.

‘Please have some more of my wonderful apple pie,’ said Nutt.

‘But she gave it to you,’ said Trev, grinning. ‘I’d never ’ear the end of it ifI ate your pie.’

‘But you are my friend, Mister Trev,’ said Nutt. ‘And since it is my pie I candecide what to do with it.’

‘Nah,’ said Trev, waving it away. ‘But there is a little errand you can do forme, me being a kind and understanding boss what lets you work all the hours youwant.’

‘Yes, Mister Trev?’ said Nutt.

‘Glenda will come in around midday. To be honest, she hardly ever leaves theplace. I would like you to go and ask her the name of that girl who was upthere tonight.’

‘The one who shouted at you, Mister Trev?’

‘The very same,’ said Trev.

‘Of course I will do that,’ said Nutt. ‘But why don’t you ask Miss Glendayourself? She knows you.’

Trev grinned again. ‘Yes, she does and that’s why I know she won’t tell me. IfI am any judge, and I’m pretty sound, she would like to know you better. I’venever met a lady so good at feelin’ sorry for people.’

‘There’s not much of me to know,’ said Nutt.

Trev gave him a long, thoughtful glance. Nutt had not taken his eyes off hiswork. Trev had never seen anyone who could be so easily engrossed. Other peoplewho ended up working in the vats were a bit weird, it was almost a requirement,but the little dark-grey fellow was somehow weird in the opposite direction.‘You know, you ought to get out more, Mister Nutts,’ he said.

‘Oh, I don’t think I should like that at all,’ said Nutt, ‘and may I kindlyremind you my name is not plural, thank you.’

‘’ave you ever seen a game of football?’

‘No, Mister Trev.’

‘Then I’ll take you to the match tomorrow. I don’t play, o’course, but I nevermiss a game if I can ’elp it,’ said Trev. ‘No edged weapons, prob’ly. Theseason starts soon, everyone’s warming up.’

‘Well, that is very kind of you, but I—’

‘Tell you what, I’ll pick you up down ’ere at one o’clock.’

‘But people will look at me!’ said Nutt. And in his head he could hearLadyship’s voice, calm and cool as ever: Do not stand out. Be part of thecrowd.

‘No, they won’t. Trust me on that,’ said Trev. ‘I can sort that out. Enjoy yourpie. I’m off.’

He pulled a tin can out of his coat pocket, dropped it on to his foot, flickedit into the air, toed it a few times so it spun and twinkled like somecelestial object and then kicked it very hard so it sailed off down the hugegloomy room a few feet above the vats, rattling slightly. Against allprobability it stopped in its flight a few feet from the far wall, spun for amoment and then started to come back with, it seemed to the amazed Nutt, agreater speed than before.

Trev caught it effortlessly and dropped it back into his pocket.

‘How can you do that, Mister Trev?’ said Nutt, astonished.

‘Never thought about it,’ said Trev. ‘But I always wonder why everyone elsecan’t. It’s just about the spinning. It’s not hard. See yer tomorrow, okay? Anddon’t forget that name.’

The horse buses were not much faster than walking, but it wasn’t you doing thewalking, and there were seats and a roof and a guard with a battle-axe and allin all it was, in the damp grey hours before dawn, good value for tuppence.Glenda and Juliet sat side by side, rocking gently to the sway, lost in theirthoughts. At least Glenda was; Juliet could get lost in half a thought, ifthat.

But Glenda had become an expert at knowing when Juliet was going to speak. Itwas rather like the sense a sailor has that the wind is going to change. Therewere little signs, as if a thought had to get the beautiful brain warmed up andspinning before anything could happen.

‘Who was that boy what come up for his bubble and squeak?’ she askednonchalantly, or what she probably thought was nonchalantly, or again, what shemight have thought was nonchalantly had she known that there was a word likenonchalantly.

‘That’s Trevor Likely,’ said Glenda. ‘And you don’t want anything to do withhim.’

‘Why not?’

‘He’s a Dimmer! Fancies himself as a Face, too. And his dad was Big DaveLikely! Your dad would go mad if he heard you’d even talked to him.’

‘He’s got a lovely smile,’ said Juliet, with a wistfulness that rang all kindsof alarms for Glenda.

‘He’s a scallywag,’ she said firmly. ‘He’ll try on anything. Can’t keep hishands to himself, too.’

‘How come you knows that?’ said Juliet.

That was another worrying thing about Juliet. Nothing much seemed to be goingon between those perfect ears for hours on end and then a question like thatwould come spinning towards you with edges on it.

‘You know, you should try to speak better,’ Glenda said, to change the subject.‘With your looks you could snag a man who thinks about more than beer andfootie. Just speak with a little more class, eh? You don’t have to sound like—’

‘My fare, lady?’

They looked up at the guard, who was holding his axe in a way that was verynearly not threatening. And when it came to looking up, this was not a longway. The axe’s owner was very short.

Glenda gently pushed the weapon out of the way. ‘Don’t wave it about, Roger,’she sighed. ‘It doesn’t impress.’

‘Oh, sorry, Miss Glenda,’ said the dwarf, what was visible of his face behindthe beard colouring with embarrassment. ‘It’s been a long shift. That will befourpence, ladies. Sorry about the axe, but we’ve been getting people jumpingoff without paying.’

‘He ought to be sent back to where he came from,’ muttered Juliet, as the guardmoved on along the bus. Glenda chose not to rise to this. As far as she hadbeen able to tell, up until today, at least, her friend had no opinions of herown, and simply echoed anything other people said to her. But then she couldn’tresist. ‘That would be Treacle Mine Road, then. He was born in the city.’

‘He’s a Miners fan, then? I suppose it could be worse.’

‘I don’t think dwarfs bother much about football,’ said Glenda.

‘I don’t fink you can be a real Morporkian an’ not shout for your team,’ wasthe next piece of worn-out folk wisdom from Juliet. Glenda let this one pass.Sometimes, arguing with her friend was like punching mist. Besides, theplodding horses were laboriously passing their street. They got off withoutmissing a step.

The door to Juliet’s house was covered in the ancient remnants of multiplelayers of paint, or, rather, multiple layers of paint that had bubbled up intotiny little mountains over the years. It was always the cheapest paintpossible. After all, you could afford to buy beer or you could afford to buypaint and you couldn’t drink paint unless you were Mr Johnson at numberfourteen, who apparently drank it all the time.

‘Now, I won’t tell your dad that you were late,’ said Glenda, opening the doorfor her. ‘But I want you in early tomorrow, all right?’

‘Yes, Glenda,’ said Juliet meekly.

‘And no thinking about that Trevor Likely.’

‘Yes, Glenda.’ It was a meek reply, but Glenda recognized the sparkle. She’dseen it in the mirror once.

But now she cooked an early breakfast for widow Crowdy, who occupied the houseon the other side and couldn’t get about much these days, made her comfortable,did the chores in the rising light, and finally went to bed.