“She’s not the only one I’d be avoiding.” Again, he tried to tuck the unruly hair back. When he failed again, he simply slid his hand down my arm, tracing its curves with his fingertips. “I don’t think I can handle seeing you either. Even being with you now…it’s like the best thing in the world and the worst. Seeing you all the time would just drive home how we can’t be together—and we would see each other all the time, you know. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that fate doesn’t let you and me stay apart for long.”

Seth’s words were such an odd contradiction. On one side, they were all filled with love and romantic sentiment about how agonizing his life was without me. Yet…there was more than just that. There was a defeatist attitude throughout it all, one I’d never seen in him before. Somewhere in all of this, Seth had gained a new bitterness, and I had the uneasy thought that if I could see his soul like Hugh could, the stain of sin would be even darker than before. I made one more attempt.

“Pull me out of the equation. You have to go back for your family. They need you. Andrea’s sick.”

“Everyone gets sick. That’s not a convincing argument.”

“No…you don’t understand. They didn’t tell you. She doesn’t have the flu…she’s got cancer.”

That got a reaction. His expression went rigid. “No, she doesn’t.”

“She does. Brandy told me.”

“She must have been confused,” he said adamantly. “They would have told me.”

“I don’t think she’d mistake ‘cold’ for ‘ovarian cancer.’ And do you think she’d make something like that up?”

He considered a moment. “No, no, she wouldn’t. But why didn’t they say anything?”

“I guess they didn’t tell anyone so they could find out more. Don’t you see?” I leaned closer, hoping to drive home my plea. “They need you. You have to go home for them.”

For a moment, I thought I had him, and then he slowly shook his head. “They’ll be fine without me. And you said yourself they’re waiting to find out more. It might not be that bad.”

“Seth! It’s cancer. It’s going to be some level of bad, regardless. How can you abandon them?”

“Damn it,” he said, about as angry as I ever saw him—which always came off pretty mild. “I don’t need a moral angel on my shoulder right now. Just let me…just let me be selfish for once. I want to just be away from it all. I want to hide from my problems for once, instead of always being the responsible one. If you’re just here to torment me with what can or can’t be, then you should just…you should just go. Let me hide out and be free. Let me write the new series and forget about everything else.”

It was almost a mirror of what I’d done so long ago. Only, instead of trying to forget my problems, I made everyone forget me. Sometimes, I kind of wished I added that last part to the bargain. Consequently, I could understand where he was coming from. I could understand that longing to just make all the bad things disappear. I’d wanted it too. I’d made it happen. The thing was, I’d expected more from him than from me. Sensing my hesitation, he cupped my face between his hands and drew me down into a small kiss. I drew back and stared in astonishment.

“What was that?” I asked.

“I might ultimately be trying to avoid you, but if I’ve got you now, I might as well enjoy it for the moment.” There was a wicked gleam in his eyes, one I couldn’t help but smile at, despite all the misgivings within me.

“You’re a hypocrite,” I said.

“An opportunist,” he countered. “What are you really doing here, Georgina? What do you want?”

I lowered my gaze. I didn’t know. I didn’t know why I was here. I’d come to make sure he was okay…but then what? I was always going back and forth. I loved him. I had to forget him. Back and forth.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “That’s the best I’ve got.”

And with no more deliberation, I kissed him again, longer this time, surprised at how easy it was to fall back into the kinds of kisses we used to do—the ones that just pushed the envelope of when I started to take his energy. He seemed like he was ready to go further, so I was the one who stopped him and returned to lying against him as we watched the sun sink down and paint the sky with brilliant colors. He gave no protest, seeming content just to have me close.

We ate dinner inside one of the resort’s restaurants, my lack of packing not being a problem with shape-shifting. I pulled out a sexy v-cut evening dress whose violet shade reminded me of our first meeting. And as we talked and drank over dinner, our conversation slipped into the funny, comfortable manner we’d always shared. With Maddie removed from the equation, it was exactly as he’d said: so much had changed yet not changed. The rapport, the connection…it all burned between us—as did the sexual tension while we studied each other intently through the effortless conversation. He came alive more than I’d seen him in a while, but whether that was from the drinks or his freedom, I couldn’t say.

Though my heart sang at finally being with him again, I was still battered with a million doubts. He’d told me to push them aside, but it was hard. Maddie. His underlying pessimism. His desire for escape. His family. My own selfishness.

But when we finished dinner, all such worries fled. As soon as we were back in his room—a wide and spacious suite that looked out to the now-dark water—we were all over each other. The longing that had built up between us exploded. His hands undid the zipper of my dress, peeling it from my body. We fell onto the bed, and I tore at his shorts, reason and responsibility nonexistent. His hands ran the length of my body, down the sides of my hips while his mouth moved from my collarbone to the spot between my breasts and then finally onto one of the breasts and its hardened nipple.

I was prying off his pants when I felt the glow of life energy start to creep into me. For a few moments, I was able to ignore its implications. I just wanted him. I wanted to feel what I’d felt months ago when his body had been in mine and I’d had that sense of perfect union. The life energy was an aphrodisiac, enhancing the desire my physical body felt.

Maybe it was a kneejerk reaction from the days of dating, but once more, I was the one who had to stop it all. I put some distance between us, though we were still intertwined.

“Okay,” I said, my heart pounding in my chest. “We’re about to cross the line.”

There was lust in Seth’s eyes. Lust and love and that same burning need I had to reach ultimate completion. “We crossed it a little, didn’t we?” he asked breathlessly. “I felt it.”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “Not much.” Not much is too much.

He frowned a little, his hand still running over my leg. So, so dangerous. A little more and we would teeter over the edge again.

“I’ve felt it before,” he said. “When you started to take some of me. Just a vague sense, but it was there. Somehow…somehow, it didn’t seem quite as bad this time.”

He was right, and that was because of that slight darkening on his soul. Sure, he was nowhere near as bad as a lot of Hell-bound people, but even that slight mark made a difference. I could feel it. Before, he’d been pristine and pure, all sparking silver and undiluted life. Most of it was still there…save that slight shadow, a shadow that I suspected was increasing the more he decided to turn his back on the people in his life. And the darker a soul was, the less of it I took.

“You’re right.” I didn’t bother getting into the technicalities. “But it’d still be bad.”

“Too bad to risk just one time?”

An old argument. “What happened to you giving me up?”

“I will if I have to. I was ready to. But that was before you came here…you still haven’t told me why, what you want. I’d do it again. I’d be together again, but no more physical boundaries.” He cut off my protests. “I know, I know the risks. And I know—as should you—that what’s between us is about more than sex. But that was still a thorn, no matter how much we knew it shouldn’t be. I don’t want anything like that happening again. I’ll take the risk. It’s my choice.”