“I—I don’t know. I just don’t…”

“Well, that’s better than ‘I can’t.’” He chuckled. He moved closer, his lips just brushing mine. “And if you decide no, then that’s how it’ll be. But maybe…maybe just this once we could…maybe just once you could give in….”

I closed my eyes as his lips pressed against mine once more, harder this time, and our bodies moved back together. Again, he was right. I could almost give in this time. I’d been through too much recently, so much emotional and spiritual upheaval. Being with him felt like the most natural thing in the world right now…but my warning alarms were still going off. If I shortened his life with a dark soul, he’d be that much closer to Hell.

“No,” I said at last. It was growing more difficult to keep pulling back. “I still can’t. Not yet. I’m not saying never…I just. I’m so confused. I’m sorry.”

He looked disappointed, but to my relief, he didn’t push the issue again. I might not have been able to resist if he did. “But you’ll stay? You’ll stay the night with me at least?”

I nodded. “I can stay for three days.”

“Three days. That’s perfect. I can handle that. Three more days to think about it all. If we can stay together…then we will. If we can’t, then I’ll be alone until there’s another Georgina.” His wry tone indicated his doubts about that. “For now, this is enough.”

We lounged in each other’s arms naked after that, miraculously managing to keep things from escalating. Of course, it was a skill we’d perfected while dating, so we fell into it naturally—though also reluctantly. We stayed up talking for a long time, as though we hadn’t seen each other for years and had a lifetime to catch up on. Which really wasn’t that far from the truth.

At last, he slept, but I was restless. I watched his peaceful breathing in the darkness, his sleep heavy from the drinks. His skin was warm against mine, and I felt safer than I had in a while.

Three days. We’d have these three days, and for a little longer, I could pretend he was mine again, just like he used to be. If I chose, I could even make this permanent. I’d told him I’d think about it. The one problem with it all was that things weren’t like they used to be. The dream replayed in my head, the dream that might have been a lie. Seth had been the man in the dream, the one I could have been with if what the Oneroi had showed me was true. But was this Seth lying in my arms the man in the dream? The one I’d dreamed of had been infinitely kind and good—the one I’d fallen in love with. The real Seth had changed—gradually, yes…but the change was there.

It was wrong of me to judge, seeing as part of the change over the last year had been a result of me in his life. Yet, once more, that selfish part inside me thought he should have resisted. I’d fallen for Seth because of his moral character, something that always attracted me to a man. Ironic and possibly hypocritical for a servant of Hell. I still loved Seth, still felt that connection, but things were off now. This bitterness, this attitude that made him want to lock himself away in easy, selfish retreat was not what I’d expected of him. I’d expected more.

I didn’t want to lose him. I wanted these last few days with him. I wanted forever with him, but if I stayed, I’d be furthering this attitude I hated. I’d encourage the darkness to build within him. I didn’t want to see it. And as much as I loved him and yearned to cling to a few more moments with him, I realized staying with this Seth who disappointed me so much was a bad idea. Seth had said he’d rather be alone than be with the wrong woman. I’d rather be apart from him than see him like this. I wanted my memories of him to stay pure.

And so, though it broke my heart, I untangled myself from him. In his heavy sleep, he didn’t stir. Again, the hypocrisy wasn’t lost on me. I’d tried so many times to coax him into one drink, and now I looked down on him for using cocktails as a way to dull the pain. How stupid, I thought, that his darkened soul made it easier for us to finally be together…and yet, for my heart, it made it impossible.

I shape-shifted into jeans and a light tank top and found some hotel stationery. On it, I scrawled:

Seth,

I’m sorry—but I have to leave. I told you I’d consider everything, but I was wrong. I love you too much to stay.

Cryptic much? A meager way to express all those feelings, but somehow, I suspected he’d understand. He knew me. I left it on the bedside table and then watched him for a few moments, admiring the man I loved and always would. Finally, my eyes wet, I turned away and left the room to catch a taxi to the airport.

“Where’ve you been?” asked Roman.

I hadn’t landed in Seattle until later the next day. Turns out getting flights from Mexico to the Pacific Northwest can take a little longer than immortal teleportation, particularly on short notice.

“To the edge of the known world and back,” I said, falling onto the couch. Both cats came to me, which I took with some smugness, seeing as they usually fawned all over Roman.

“So, what, South Dakota?”

I made a face and covered my eyes with one arm. My trip to locate Seth had only taken twenty-four hours, but really, that was a lot to endure in so short a time. “I found Seth.”

“Oh.” Roman’s enthusiasm dimmed considerably. “I guess his disappearance wasn’t as milk carton–worthy as Maddie made it sound.”

“Well, I had to—literally—call in a demonic favor to hunt him down.”

“And? Are you guys running into the sunset together now that he’s free?”

The mention of sunset made me flinch, recalling how Seth and I had held each other on the beach. “Not quite. I…left him.”

“What’s that mean exactly?”

I tried to explain all that had gone down with Seth, but it wasn’t easy. It was almost too much for my brain to wade through, let alone articulate to someone else. When I finished, I felt even more exhausted than before.

“So that’s it? You’re never going to see each other again?” Roman’s voice was skeptical.

“He said he’s not coming back, and I didn’t stick around. So, yeah.”

“I have a hard time believing that. Is he just going to live at that hotel permanently? Even he can’t make that much money.”

“No, he mentioned at dinner that he’d be settling down somewhere else. He just hasn’t decided where.”

All was quiet between us for a minute or so. The only sounds were the traffic outside and Aubrey purring near my ear. At last, Roman asked, “Are you okay?”

I glanced over at him in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said. This can’t be easy on you. I mean, you haven’t even had any downtime since the Oneroi.”

I don’t know why his words caught me by surprise. I guess it was because amidst all the woes that were always going on in my life, few people ever asked if I was okay. Maybe they’d given up asking because depressing things were so commonplace for me. How weird, I thought, that Roman had swung from sociopathic to compassionate while Seth had fallen down a darker path. Of course, I had no hard evidence that Roman wasn’t actually a compassionate sociopath. Still, I gave him a smile of gratitude.

“I am okay—or will be eventually. Thanks.”

There must have been something in my smile that gave him hope or just made him feel inspired because his own smile grew radiant. I’d forgotten just how beautiful it was, the way it could light up his face. We left dangerous topics alone after that but spent the rest of the night hanging out together. I wasn’t totally okay by any means, but it was nice to simply be ordinary for a while and free of drama. I wondered if that’s what my life would be like now—and what role Roman would play.

Still, adjusting to a world without Seth wasn’t easy over the next few days. Even when he’d been with Maddie, even when the sight of him had caused me pain, he’d still been there. And I’d known he was there. Now, the knowledge that he was gone and that he wasn’t coming back left a strange emptiness in my heart, even as the rest of my life began to stabilize.