THE CHICKEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE PIE

“I don’t understand it,” Manuel said.

“It’s an android dirty joke,” Ssu-ma explained. “One of my betas told it to me a few weeks ago. You see, there’s this hermaphrodite gamma—”

“We’ve all got them,” Jed Guilbert announced. “It’s a new thing for keeping people amused while they’re waiting, I guess.”

DEFEND THE FOLLOWING THESES:

GOLD IS MALLEABLE

ALL ELECTRIC RADIOS REQUIRE TUBES

ALL WHITE TOMCATS WITH BLUE EYES ARE DEAF

“How does it work?” Manuel asked.

Cadge Foster said, “It’s primed to pick up anything we say. Then I imagine it relays a signal to a randomizing message center that picks out something vaguely relevant — or interestingly irrelevant — and feeds it onto the screen inside the cube.”

“And we each get a different message?”

“Nick’s and mine are the same right now,” Tennyson reported. “No — his is changing, mine is staying—”

THE SUM OF THE ANGLES OF A TRIANGLE IS 180 DEGREES

THIS IS NOT BOTH A CHAIR AND NOT A CHAIR

WHO SHAVES THE SPANISH BARBER, THEN?

“I think it’s insane,” Mishima said.

“Maybe that’s the whole point,” said Manuel. “Is it handing out anything but gibberish?”

BECAUSE OF NECESSARY CLIMATE ADJUSTMENTS THE FOURTH OF NOVEMBER WILL BE CANCELLED BETWEEN 32 DEGREES AND 61 DEGREES SOUTH LATITUDE

“I’m getting a news report on mine,” Guilbert said. “Something about your father, Manuel—”

“Let me see!”

“Here — catch—”

FEMALE ALPHA SLAIN AT KRUG TOWER SITE.

POLITICAL EXECUTION, AEP FIGURE CHARGES.

KRUG ORGANIZATION DENIES CLAIM, ALLEGES

“More nonsense,” Manuel said. “I don’t think I find these things amusing.”

CLEVELAND LIES BETWEEN NEW YORK AND CHICAGO.

“I’m getting the news story on mine, now,” said Tennyson. “What do you think it’s all about?”

ALPHA CASSANDRA NUCLEUS DIED INSTANTLY.

THE FATAL BOLT WAS FIRED BY KRUG’S PRIVATE SECRETARY, LEON SPAULDING, 38.

“Never heard of her,” said Manuel. “And Spaulding’s older than that. He’s been working for my father since—”

CAN THE RHYTHM OF THE UNIVERSE’S BREATHING BE DETECTED BY STANDARD METABOLIC ANALYSIS?

“Perhaps you should call your father, Manuel,” Ssu-ma said. “If there’s really trouble—”

“And cancel the shunt? When we’re booked in here for a week? I’ll find out about it when I come out. If there’s anything to find out.”

ACTION FOR DAMAGES HAS BEEN INSTITUTED BY LABRADOR TRANSMAT GENERAL, PROPRIETOR OF THE DESTROYED ALPHA, EARLY SETTLEMENT IS EXPECTED.

“Let’s go back to syllogisms,” Manuel told the cube he held. “If all men are reptiles, and alpha androids are reptiles—”

THE SUM OF THE PARTS IS EQUAL TO THE SQUARE ON THE HYPOTHESIS

“Listen to what mine says!” shouted Tennyson.

PANTING WITH DESIRE SHE WAITS FOR THE ARRIVAL OF HER COAL-BLACK PARTNER IN UNSPEAKABLE SIN

“More!” Guilbert cried. “More!”

THEREFORE, YOU ARE A REPTILE

“Can we put these things away now?” Manuel asked.

SHOWING DEEP EMOTION, ALPHA SIEGFRIED FILECLERK OF AEP ACCUSED KRUG OF PLANNING A PURGE OF ANDROID EQUALITY ADVOCATES.

“I think this really is a news broadcast,” Cadge Foster murmured. “I’ve heard of this Fileclerk. He’s pushing a constitutional amendment that would open Congress to alphas. And—”

WEEPING AS THE DEAD FEMALE ALPHA LAY IN THE SNOW BESIDE THE MIGHTY BULK OF THE TOWER, AN ALMOST HUMAN SHOW OF GRIEF.

“Enough,” Manuel said. He began to toss his cube to the floor; but, seeing the message change, he glanced at it once again.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN MOTIVES?

“Do you?” he asked. The cube went blank. He dropped it, gratefully. The alpha attendant entered the subchamber and started to disconnect the electrodes.

“You may proceed to the shunt room, gentlemen,” said the alpha blandly. “The programming has been completed and the stasis net is ready to receive you.”

They had moved the chapel to a dome near the outer rim of the service area, in a section where tools were repaired. In less than two hours a flawless transfer had been carried out; inside, the new chapel was indistinguishable from the old. Watchman found a dozen off-duty betas going through a ritual of consecration, with a knot of gammas looking on. No one spoke to him or even looked directly at him; in the presence of the alpha they all scrupulously obeyed the code of social distances. Briefly Watchman prayed beneath the hologram of Krug. His soul was eased some, after a while, though the tensions of his long wintry dialogue with Siegfried Fileclerk would not leave him. His faith had not wavered before Fileclerk’s brusque pragmatic arguments, but for a few moments, while they were thrusting and parrying beside the body of Cassandra Nucleus, Watchman had felt a touch of despair. Fileclerk had struck at a vulnerable place: Krug’s attitude toward the slaying of the alpha. Krug had seemed so removed by it! True, he had looked annoyed — but was it merely the expense, the nuisance of a suit, that bothered him? Watchman had riposted with the proper metaphysical statements, yet he was disturbed. Why had Krug not seemed lessened by the killing? Where was the sense of grace? Where was the hope of redemption? Where was the mercy of the Maker?

The snow was slackening when Watchman left the chapel. Night had come, moonless, the stars unbearably sharp. Savage winds knifed across the flat, treeless expanse of the construction site. Siegfried Fileclerk was gone; so was the corpse of Cassandra Nucleus. Long lines of workers stood in front of the transmat banks, for the shift was changing. Watchman returned to the control center. Euclid Planner, his relief man, was there.

“I’m on,” Planner said. “Go. You stayed late tonight.”

“A complicated day. You know about the killing?”

“Of course. Labrador Transmat’s claimed the body. The lawyers have been all over the place.” Planner eased into the linkup seat. “I understand the chapel’s been moved, too.”

“We had to. That’s how it all started — Spaulding got too interested in the chapel. It’s a long story.”

“I’ve heard it,” Euclid Planner said. He prepared to jack himself into the computer. “There’ll be problems out of this. As if there weren’t problems enough. Go with Krug, Thor.”

“Go with Krug,” Watchman murmured. He took his leave.

The outbound workers on the transmat line made way for him. He entered the cubicle and let the green glow hurl him to his three-room flat in Stockholm, in the section of the android quarter favored by alphas. The private transmat was a rare privilege, a mark of the esteem in which he was held by Krug. He knew no other android who had one; but Krug had insisted that it was necessary for Watchman to be able to leave his apartment on a moment’s notice, and had had the cubicle installed.