Susan poured herself a drink of some revolting Narn liquor and drained it in one. She knew better than to offer Marcus any. She could tell from the look in his eyes of the way he had come to depend on alcohol. It had taken a great deal to shake him free.

Susan hated Narn drinks, but they were the only things around and she needed something. She’d never told this to anyone before. She’d tried to avoid admitting it to herself, but she had to try… Marcus represented everything she’d ever let herself hope for, and she wasn’t going to lose him to Psi Corps the way she had everything else.

“Did you ever see many telepaths on your home colony?” she asked. “Any Psi Corps representatives? Anything like that?”

“Where is Lyta? Where is Captain Sheridan? Where…?”

“Marcus. Trust me. Please? I’ll tell you everything you need to know, but first just… please listen to me.” This was going to get harder and harder. She swallowed harshly and turned away, anything rather than look at him while she was saying this. She didn’t want him to see her this scared.

The Shadows were not happy at her wasting time like this. She had had quite an argument convincing them of the point of this. It could be possible to bring him over to their side voluntarily. Without having to use a Keeper, without mind control, or being placed in a ship. And if they could manage this with him, then surely they could manage it with anyone.

They didn’t quite believe her, and they certainly knew about her ulterior motives, but they didn’t seem to mind. She wondered what they thought about, what they would die for, if they even knew the meaning of the word love. She wondered what they wanted.

“Marcus?”

“I… yes. A few commercial telepaths, that’s all. We had a Psi Cop visit once, when I was little. We never paid them much attention. Why?”

“We had the Psi Corps everywhere. I was born in the Russian consortium, out in the country a bit, but not exactly the wilderness. We saw telepaths wandering through from time to time. Business deals, that sort of thing.”

She closed her eyes tightly, welcoming the darkness she saw.

“My mother was a telepath. Potentially, she was of average strength, I suppose, but she was never trained. She couldn’t do much. She wasn’t a threat to anyone. The only person she could ever read was me. I suppose she could read my father and my brother Ganya as well, but it was mostly just me.

“Psi Corps came for her one day, on her thirty-fifth birthday. She didn’t have much choice. Go to prison, join the Corps or take certain drugs. She had a young family. She didn’t want to leave us, so she took the drugs, and they killed her. One bit at a time. Eventually she killed herself, but that wasn’t when she died. She’d been dead for a long time before then, dead where it counted.

“She told me something, just before she died. Three words. Tell no one. And I haven’t. I’ve kept this a secret for so long, always moving around, hiding, changing schools. Always new faces, new surroundings, a new name. That’s why I don’t have an accent, in case you were wondering. I never spent enough time in one place to develop one.

“My father knew what I was, but he didn’t seem to believe it. He certainly never mentioned it, and he died a little, after Mama died. He never had much love for me, and he had even less afterwards. He died on Earth. Ganya… I don’t think he knew, although if he had, he wouldn’t have said anything. He died a few months before the Line.

“No one human knows this, Marcus. No one. But I have to tell you, because… because you have to see what I am, what I want…

“I’m a telepath. Not very powerful, and I’ve never been trained. The only person I could ever touch was my mother, but that’s enough for Psi Corps. That’s why I always moved, in case Psi Corps caught up with me. They’d catch me, and they’d do to me what they did to my mother.

“Psi Corps was pretty much destroyed with Earth, but there’s still a few of them left. You remember Bester, don’t you? He’s still around, and of course there’s your Lyta. There’s enough of them to pose a threat, and if anyone had ever found out what I was, then they’d have taken me. They’d have had to. Lyta is one of the only telepaths of any power here. The Resistance Government is always looking for more resources, more weapons, more anything of value. More telepaths.

“They’d have given me to what was left of the Corps, and there’d be nothing I could do about it.

“Until I met the Shadows. They asked me what I wanted, the same question I asked Captain Sheridan. My answer… I wanted to be safe. I wanted to be able to stop running. I didn’t want to be afraid any more!

“And now I’m not. I’m not afraid, or ashamed, of what I am. The Shadows… never mind what anyone’s told you, they aren’t our enemies. What have they done for you to oppose them so much? All they want to do is help us. They want us to take back our place in the galaxy. All of us, the whole human race has been living in fear for fifteen years! Thanks to the Shadows, we don’t have to be afraid any more.

“They want to help us, Marcus, and everything I’ve done since I came here, has been to help humanity. You… the Shadows didn’t understand you. They’d have killed you, but I couldn’t let that happen.

“Marcus, I can help you. All you have to do is believe me. I don’t want to hurt you.

“Marcus, what do you want?”

She could see the lights gleaming in his eyes. She could feel the memories burning in the back of his mind. She could practically… touch him.

No! She drew back, terrified. She’d only ever been able to touch her mother. The Shadows had tried to augment her powers, but they’d only succeeded peripherally. She still couldn’t do much. Her children might be more powerful, but for the moment, no.

But, she had found herself able to reach out and touch Marcus’ mind. But she had pulled back. To invade his thoughts without his permission… that would be a violation, that would be as terrible as anything Psi Corps had done to her.

“Why did they destroy my home?” Marcus asked. “If all they want to do is help, then why did they kill everyone I ever cared for?” She could feel his bitterness, his anger. It had been festering within him for almost a year now.

Damn you, John! she thought. Why did you have to make him part of your little war?

“That was… an accident. The Shadows seeded one of their ships there a long time ago, before it was ever colonised. They didn’t… mean to kill anyone, but they had to retrieve their ship. They’re… sorry.”

“An accident?” he said hollowly. “Just… an accident. Delenn said that the war began because of an accident. Does that excuse what the Minbari have done?”

“No, but… we’re trying to help, Marcus. My friends… they helped me, and they can help you. All you have to do is let them. Please! You don’t have to fight them. What do you want, Marcus? Just tell me and you can have it.”

“I want to know where Lyta is.”

Susan started, as if she had been struck. She almost fell, but she managed to catch herself in time. She could only stare at him, wondering what might have been if only things had been different.

Psi Corps had taken everything from her. Had they taken this as well?

Her link activated, and she raised it slowly, still looking at Marcus.

“Yes?” she said.

“Ambassador Ivanova.” It was General Hague. “I would like to see you as soon as possible. We’re picking up some disturbing reports about Minbari activity.”

“I… yes. I’ll be there now.” She turned off her link and looked at Marcus.

“Please. Think about what I said.” She went to the door. “And don’t do anything stupid. The Shadows here have eyes.”

She left.

“So then, Mr. Morden, is there any chance you can explain just what you are doing here?”