The Miraculous Inspecting Officer reported to the Jade Emperor,

And from that day I was doomed.

The Cool Broad Palace was closely surrounded.

I could neither advance nor retreat: escape was impossible.

Then I was arrested by the gods,

But as I was still drunk I was not scared.

I was marched to the Hall of Miraculous Mist to see the Jade Emperor,

And, after questioning, sentenced to death.

Luckily the Great White Planet

Stepped forward, bowed low, and interceded.

My sentence was commuted to two thousand strokes of the heavy rod,

Which tore my flesh and all but smashed my bones.

I was released alive and expelled from Heaven,

So I tried to make a living on the Mount of Blessing.

For my sins I was reborn from the wrong womb,

And now I am known as Iron-haired Pig.”

“So you are an earthly reincarnation of Marshal Tian Peng,” said Brother Monkey when he heard this. “No wonder you knew my name.”

“Ha,” the monster snorted angrily. “Your insane rebellion caused trouble for very many of us, Protector of the Horses. Have you come here to throw your weight around again? I'll teach you some manners. Take this!” Monkey was in no mood to spare him after this, and he struck at the monster's head with his cudgel. The pair of them fought a magnificent midnight battle on that mountainside:

Monkey's golden pupils flashed with lightning;

The monster's glaring eyes sparked silver.

One disgorged coloured mist,

The other breathed out red clouds.

The red clouds lit up the night;

The coloured mists illuminated the darkness.

A gold-banded cudgel,

A nine-toothed rake,

And two splendid heroes.

One a Great Sage down among the mortals,

The other a marshal banished from Heaven.

One had been stripped of his honors and become a monster,

The other had been saved when he took service with a priest.

When the rake attacked, it was like a dragon stretching its claws;

The cudgel blocked it as nimbly as a phoenix flying through flowers.

Pig said,

“In wrecking my marriage your crime is as great as parricide.”

Monkey replied,

“You deserve to be arrested for raping that young girl.”

Amid these exchanges

And wild shouts,

The cudgel and the rake crossed and clashed.

They fought each other till the day began to dawn,

And the monster's arms were tired right out.

They fought from the second watch of the night until the sky began to grow light in the East. The monster, no longer able to resist his enemy, broke away and fled, turning himself into a hurricane again. He went straight back to his cave, shut the gates behind him, and did not come out. Monkey saw a stone tablet outside the cave on which was inscribed CLOUD PATHWAY CAVE. The monster did not come out again and it was now broad daylight, so Monkey thought that as his master might be waiting for him he had better go back to see him. He could come back later to catch the monster. He gave his cloud a kick and was back in Old Gao Village in an instant.

Sanzang, meanwhile, had been talking all night with the elders about things ancient and modern, and had not slept a wink. Just as he was beginning to think that Brother Monkey would not come back, Monkey appeared in the courtyard, put away his iron club, straightened his clothes, and entered the main room.

“Master, I'm here,” he announced, giving the old men such a surprise that they all fell to their knees and thanked him for his efforts.

“You've been out all night, Monkey,” Sanzang said. “Where did you catch that evil spirit?”

“He's no common or garden ghost, master,” Monkey replied, “and he isn't an ordinary wild animal turned monster. He is Marshal Tian Peng, who was exiled to the mortal world. As he was placed in the wrong womb he has a face like a wild boar, but he's still kept his original divine nature. He says that he takes his name from his looks and is called Zhu Ganglie, Iron-haired Pig. I was going to kill him in the building at the back, but he turned into a hurricane and fled. When I struck at this wind, he changed into sparks, went straight back to his cave, came out with a nine-pronged rake, and fought me all night. He broke off the engagement in terror as the dawn broke and shut himself in his cave. I was going to smash down the gates and have it out with him, but then it occurred to me that you might be worried after waiting for me so long, so I came back to put you in the picture first.”

After Monkey had made his report, Squire Gao came up and knelt before him saying, “Venerable sir, I'm afraid that although you've chased him away, he'll come back after you've gone; so this is no real solution. Please, I beg of you, catch him for me and exterminate him to prevent trouble later. I promise you that I shall not be remiss if you do this for me, and there will, of course, be rich rewards. I shall write a deed, witnessed by my relations and friends, giving you half of my property and my land. Please, please eradicate this evil weed and save the honour of the family.”

“You've got no sense of what's proper, old man,” replied Monkey with a grin. “He told me that although he may have put away a lot of your rice and tea, he's also done you a lot of good. You've piled up a lot of wealth in the past few years, all thanks to his efforts. He says he hasn't been eating your food in idleness, and wants to know why you're trying to have him exorcised. He maintains that he is a heavenly Immortal come down to earth who has been working for your family and has never harmed your daughter. I would say that he is a very fitting son-in-law for you, who does your family's name no harm. You really ought to keep him.”

“Venerable sir,” the old man replied, “he may never have done anything wicked, but it does our reputation no good to have a son-in-law like him. Whether he does anything or not, people say that the Gaos have asked a monster to marry into the family, and I simply can't bear to hear a thing like that.”

“Go and have it out with him, and then we'll see what to do,” said Sanzang.

“I'll try a trick on him this time,” Monkey replied. “I guarantee to bring him back this time for you to look at. But don't be angry with him.”

“Old Gao,” he continued, addressing the old man, “look after my master well. I'm off.”

By the time the words were out of his mouth, he had disappeared. He leapt up the mountain and smashed the gates of the cave to splinters with a single blow of his cudgel, shouting, “Come out and fight Monkey, you chaff-guzzling moron.” The monster, who had been snoring inside, heard the gates being smashed and the insulting “chaff-guzzling moron,” and went wild with fury.

Seizing his rake and summoning up his spirit, he rushed out and shrieked, “You shameless Protector of the Horses. What have I ever done to you to make you smash down my gates? You'd better take a look at the statute book: there's the death penalty for breaking and entering.”

“You fool,” laughed Monkey, “I've got a very good justification for smashing your gates-you abducted a girl by force, without matchmakers or witnesses, and without giving proper presents or observing the right ceremonies. You're a fine one to talk about who deserves to have his head cut off.”

“Stop talking such nonsense and see how this rake of mine strikes you,” the monster replied.

Blocking the blow with his cudgel, Monkey retorted, “Is that the rake you used when you were tilling the fields and growing vegetables for the Gaos as their hired hand? What's so wonderful about it that I should be afraid of you?”