I smiled at him, but knew that the expression didn't reach my eyes. With an intensity that surprised me, I suddenly, desperately wanted to tell Damien the truth.
"I miss Stevie Rae," I blurted before I could stop my mouth.
He didn't hesitate. "I know." His eyes looked suspiciously damp.
And that was it. Like a dam had broken open inside me the words came spilling out. "She should be here! She'd be running around like a crazy woman putting up birthday decorations and probably baking a cake all by herself."
"A really awful cake," Damien said with a little sniffle.
"Yeah, but it'd be one of her mama's favorite recipes" I gave my best exaggerated Okie twang as I mimicked Stevie Rae's countrified voice, which made me smile through my own tears, and I thought how weird it was that now that I was letting Damien see how upset I really felt—and why I felt that way—my smile actually reached my eyes.
"And the Twins and I would have been pissed because she would have insisted we all wear those pointed birthday hats with the elastic string that pinches your chin." He shuddered in not-so-pretended horror. "God, they're so unattractive."
I laughed and felt a little of the tightness in my chest begin to loosen. "There's just something about Stevie Rae that makes me feel good." I didn't realize that I'd used the present tense until Damien's teary smile faltered.
"Yeah, she was great," he said, with an extra emphasis on the was while he looked at me like he was worried about my sanity.
If only he knew the whole truth. If only I could tell him.
But I couldn't. If I did it would get either Stevie Rae or me, or both of us, killed. For good this time.
So instead I grabbed my obviously worried friend's arm and started pulling him toward the stairs that would lead us down to the public rooms of the girls' dorm and my waiting friends (and their dorky presents).
"Let's go. I'm feeling the need to open presents," I lied enthusiastically.
"Ohmygod! I can not wait for you to open mine!" Damien gushed. "I shopped for it forevah!"
I smiled and nodded appropriately as Damien went on and on about his Quest for the Perfect Present. Usually he isn't so overtly gay. Not that the fabulous Damien Maslin isn't actually gay. He totally is. But he's also a tall, brown-haired, big-eyed cutie who looks like he'd be excellent boyfriend material (which he is—if you're a boy). He's not a fluttery-acting gay kid, but get the boy talking about shopping and he definitely shows some girlish tendencies. Not that I don't like that about him. I think he looks cute when he gushes about the importance of buying really good shoes, and right then his babbling was soothing. It was helping me to get ready to face the bad presents that (sadly) waited for me.
Too bad it couldn't help me face what was really bothering me.
Still talking about his Shopping Quest, Damien led me though the main room of the dorm. I waved at the various clumps of girls clustered around the pods of flat-screen TVs as we headed to the little side room that served as a computer lab and library. Damien opened the door and my friends broke into a totally off-key chorus of "Happy Birthday to You." I heard Nala hiss and from the edge of my vision watched her back from the doorway and trot away down the hall. Coward, I thought, even though I wished I could escape with her.
Song over (thankfully), my gang swarmed me.
"Happy-happy!" said the Twins together. Okay—they're not genetically twins. Erin Bates is a very white girl from Tulsa and Shaunee Cole is a lovely caramel-colored girl of Jamaican-American descent who grew up in Connecticut, but the two are so freakishly alike that skin tone and region make absolutely no difference. They're soul twins, which is way closer than mere biology.
"Happy birthday, Z," said a deep, sexy voice I knew very, very well. I stepped out of the twin sandwich and walked into the arms of my boyfriend, Erik. Well, technically, Erik is one of my two boyfriends, but the other is Heath, a human teenager I dated before I was Marked and I'm not supposed to be dating him now, but I kinda sorta accidentally sucked his blood and now we're Imprinted and so he's my boyfriend by default. Yes, it's confusing. Yes, it makes Erik mad. Yes, I expect him to dump me any day because of it.
"Thanks," I murmured looking up at him and getting trapped all over again in his incredible eyes. Erik is tall and hot, with Superman dark hair and incredibly blue eyes. I relaxed in his arms, a treat I hadn't allowed myself much of during the past month, and temporarily basked in his yummy smell and the sense of security I felt when I was close to him. He met my gaze and, just like in the movies, for a second everyone else went away and it was just us. When I didn't move out of his arms his smile was slow and a little surprised, which made my heart hurt. I'd been putting the kid through way too much—and he didn't even really understand why. Impulsively, I tiptoed and kissed him, much to the general merriment of my friends.
"Hey, Erik, why don't you spread some of that birthday sugar around?" Shaunee wagged her eyebrows at my grinning boyfriend.
"Yeah, sweet thang," Erin said, and in typical twin fashion mirrored Shaunee's eye waggle. "How about a little b-day kiss over here."
I rolled my eyes at the twins. "Uh, it's not his birthday. You only get to kiss the birthday boy or girl."
"Damn," Shaunee said. "I lurve ya, Z, but I don't want to kiss ya."
"Just please with the same-sex kissing," Erin said, then she grinned at Damien (who was gazing adoringly at Erik). "I'll leave that to Damien."
"Huh?" Damien said, clearly paying more attention to Erik's cuteness than the Twins.
"Again, we say—" Shaunee started.
"Wrong team!" and Erin finished.
Erik laughed good-naturedly, gave Damien a very guy-like punch on the arm, and said, "Hey, if I ever decide to change teams, you'll be the first to know." (Yet another reason why I adore him. He's mega-cool and popular, but he accepts people how they are and never gets an I'm-all-that attitude.)
"Uh, I hope I'll be the first to know if you change teams," I said.
Erik laughed and hugged me, whispering, "Not something you ever need to worry about," in my ear.
While I was seriously considering sneaking another Erik kiss, a mini-whirlwind in the form of Damien's boyfriend, Jack Twist, burst into the room.
"Yea! She hasn't opened her presents yet. Happy birthday, Zoey!" Jack threw his arms around us (yes, Damien and me) and gave us a big hug.
"I told you that you needed to hurry up," Damien said, as we untangled.
"I know, but I had to make sure it was wrapped just right," Jack said. With a flourish that only a gay boy can pull off, he reached into the man purse looped over his arm and lifted out a box wrapped in red foil with a green sparkly bow on it that was so big it practically swallowed the package. "I made the bow myself."
"Jack's really good at crafts," Erik said. "He's just not good at cleaning up the crafts."
"Sorry," Jack said sweetly. "I promise I'll clean up right after the party."
Erik and Jack are roommates, further proving Erik's coolness. He's a fifth former (in normal language that's a junior) and he's also easily the most popular guy at school. Jack is a third former (a freshman), a new kid, cute but kinda dorky, and definitely gay. Erik could have made a big deal about being stuck with a queer and could have gotten out of rooming with him, and made Jack's life hell at the House of Night. Instead he totally took him under his wing and treats him like a little brother, a treatment he extends to Damien, who has been officially going out with Jack for two point five weeks as of today. (We all know because Damien is ridiculously romantic and he celebrates the half-week anniversaries as well as the weekly ones. Yes, it makes the rest of us gag. In a nice way.)