"Hello! Speaking of presents!" Shaunee said.

"Yeah, bring that overbowed box over here to the present table and let Zoey get to opening," Erin said.

I heard Jack whisper to Damien, "Overbowed?" and caught Damien's help look, as he assured Jack, "No, it's perfect!"

"I'll carry it over to the table and open it first." I snatched the package from him, hurried to the table, and started to carefully extract the ginormous green sparkly bow from the red foil saying, "I think I'm going to save this bow because it's so cool." Damien gave me a thank-you wink. I heard Erik and Shaunee snickering and managed to kick one of them, which shut both of them up. Putting the bow aside I unwrapped and opened the little box and pulled out…

Oh, jeesh.

"A snow globe," I said, trying to sound happy. "With a snowman inside it." Okay, a snowman snow globe is not a birthday present. It's a Christmas decoration. A cheesy Christmas decoration at that.

"Yeah! Yeah! And listen to what it plays!" Jack said, practically hopping up and down in excitement as he took the globe from me and wound a knob in its base so that "Frosty the Snowman" started tinkling out around us in painfully cheap and off-key notes.

"Thank you, Jack. It's really pretty," I lied.

"Glad you like it," Jack said. "It's kinda a theme for your birthday." Then he shot his eyes over to Erik and Damien. The three of them grinned at each other like bad little boys.

I planted a smile on my face. "Oh, well, good. Then I'd better open the next present."

"Mine's next!" Damien handed me a long, soft box.

Smile wedged in place, I started to open the box, though I couldn't help wishing I could turn into a cat and hiss and run from the room.

"Oooh, it's beautiful!" I stroked my hand over the folded material of the scarf, thoroughly shocked that I'd actually gotten a cool gift.

"It's cashmere," Damien said smugly.

I lifted it from the box, thrilled that it was a chic, shimmery cream color instead of the red or green birthmas presents I usually get. Then I froze, realizing I'd been thrilled too soon.

"See the snowmen embroidered on the ends?" Damien said. "Aren't they adorable?"

"Yep, adorable," I said. Sure—for Christmas they're adorable. For a birthday present, uh, not so much.

"Okay, we're next," Shaunee said, passing me a big box haphazardly wrapped in green Christmas-tree foil.

"And we didn't follow the snowman theme," Erin said, frowning at Damien.

"Yeah, no one told us," Shaunee frowned at Damien, too.

"That's okay!" I said a little too quickly and enthusiastically, and then tore into their package. Inside was a pair of black leather stiletto boots that would have been utterly cool and chic and fabulous … had it not been for the Christmas trees, complete with red and gold ornaments, that were stitched in full color on the side of each boot. This. Can. Only. Be. Worn. At. Christmas. Which makes it definitely a lame birthmas present.

"Oh, thanks." I tried to gush. "They're really cute."

"Took us forever to find them," Erin said.

"Yeah, plain boots would not do for Ms. Born-on-the-Twenty-Fourth," Shaunee said.

"No indeedy. Plain old black leather stiletto boots would never do," I said, feeling like crying.

"Hey, there's another present left."

Erik's voice pulled me out of the black hole of my birthmas-present depression. "Oh, something else?" I hoped it was only to my ears that my tone said, "Oh, yet another tragic non-present present?"

"Yeah, one more something else." Almost shyly, he handed me a very small rectangular shaped box. "I really hope you like it."

I glanced down at the box before I took it and almost squeed in happy surprise. Erik was holding a silver and gold wrapped present with a Moody's Fine Jewelry sticker plastered classify in the middle of it. (I swear I heard the "Hallelujah Chorus" crescendo somewhere in the background.)

"It's from Moody's!" I sounded breathless, but I couldn't help myself.

"I hope you like it," Erik repeated, lifting his hand and offering the little silver and gold box like a shining treasure.

I ripped through the lovely wrapping to expose a black velvet box. Velvet. I swear. Real velvet. I bit my lip to keep from giggling, held my breath, and opened it.

The first thing I saw was the gleaming platinum chain. Speechless with happiness my eyes followed the chain down to the beautiful pearls that were nestled into the plush velvet. Velvet! Platinum! Pearls! I sucked in air so that I could begin my gushing ohmygodthankyouErikyou'rethebestboyfriendever when I realized that the pearls were oddly shaped. Were they defective? Had the fabulously exclusive and amazingly expensive Moody's Fine Jewelry Store ripped off my boyfriend? And then I realized what I was seeing.

The pearls were shaped into a snowman.

"Do you like it?" Erik asked. "When I saw it, it just screamed Zoey's birthday at me, and I had to get it for you."

"Yeah. I like it. It's, uh, unique." I managed.

"It's Erik who came up with the snowman theme!" Jack cried happily.

"Well, it wasn't really a theme," Erik said, his cheeks getting a little pink. "I just thought it was different, not like those typical hearts and such that everyone gets."

"Yep, hearts and such would be so ordinarily birthday-fied. Who would want that?" I said.

"Let me put it on you," Erik said.

There was nothing else to do but pull my hair out of the way and let Erik step back to clasp the delicate chain around my throat. I could feel the snowman hanging heavy and disgustingly festive just above my cleavage.

"It's cute," Shaunee said.

"And very expensive," Erin said. Both Twins gave mirrored nods of approval.

"It matches my scarf perfectly," Damien said.

"And my snow globe!" Jack added.

"It's definitely a Christmas birthday theme," Erik said, giving the Twins a sheepish look, which they responded to with forgiving grins.

"Yes, yes, it certainly is a Christmas birthday theme," I said, fingering the pearl snowman. Then I beamed to everyone a very bright, very painted-on smile. "Thanks, you guys. I really appreciate all the time and effort it took y'all to find such special gifts. I mean it." And I did mean it. I may loathe the gifts, but the thoughts behind them were a totally different thing.

My absolutely clueless friends came together and we all did a kinda awkward group hug that left us laughing. Just then the door swung open and the light from the hall glistened on very blond, very big hair.

"Here."

Thankfully, my turning-into-vampyre reflexes were pretty good, and I caught the box she tossed at me.

"Mail call came for you while you were back here with your nerd herd," she sneered.

"Go away, Aphrodite, ya hag," Shaunee said.

"Before we throw some water on you and you melt," Erin added.

"Whatever," Aphrodite said. She started to turn away, but paused and gave me a wide, innocent smile before saying, "Nice snowman necklace." Our eyes met and I swear she winked at me before tossing her hair and flitting away, her laughter floating in the air after her like mist.

"She's such a total bitch," Damien said.

"You'd think she would have learned her lesson when you took the Dark Daughters from her, and Neferet proclaimed that the Goddess has withdrawn her gifts from Aphrodite," Erik said. "But that girl will never change."

I looked sharply at him. So says Erik Night, her ex-boyfriend. I didn't need to say the words aloud. I knew by the way Erik looked hastily away from me that they were easy enough to read in my eyes.

"Don't let her mess up your birthday, Z," Shaunee said.

"Ignore the hateful hag. Everyone else does," Erin said.