Sir Guy tilted his head. “Christlich? Ja.” He pointed at Mickey, at the cabalistic signs woven into his black robes. “Sie sind ein Hexe?”

Mickey pointed at himself. “Hexen! Um Bruxa. Homem de Magia!”

Sir Guy said, “Magus! Magier!”

They both nodded, laughing, pleased at having understood each other.

Mickey, grinning, spun his charming wand in his hand like a baton, and said in his own language, “We destroyed your vile, repressive, patriarchal superstition thousands of years ago! The only point of the Simon Families, and the only purpose of finding a longevity system that worked only on women, was to take down your corrupt and elitist phallocracy!”

Sir Guy, smiling broadly, said in his own language, “You’re one of the vermin infidels whose clumsy assault we repelled when you devil-worshippers tried to dig up and break all the Tombs holding famous Churchmen, right? You small-brained grave-robber! As soon as I get my paralysis lance back, I’ll shove it down your throat to your groin.”

“Your language sounds like the gargling and spitting of a rabid epileptic, and all your holy men were reincarnated as butt-monkeys among the Bonobos.”

“I don’t know what you said, but you are damned to burn in hellfire, my pagan friend!”

Both men, in mutual incomprehension, threw back their heads and laughed together; and either because they were in such good cheer, or because of the subtle abilities of Mickey of Williamsburg, the dog simply let them walk on past.

The Witch saw only then where the knight was leading. His footsteps slowed, then stopped. Sir Guy tugged on his arm, and said in German, “Der ist ein Maschinist, ja? Ein Sklave der Maschine? Exarschel?”

Mickey said, “Machinist, yes, a slave of the Machine. Exarchelisma. By virtue of his name, Rada Lwa Chwal, I know that he is a steed for the spirit world. Am I not a naming mage of the Eleventh? Rada Lwa can be possessed by Exarchel. You understand? Machine inside man. Evil inside man.”

The knight nodded, and said in Latin, “Exarchelus. Malum.”

And the two men were no longer laughing. Mickey stepped forward toward the nearest dog thing, and began talking gently to it while it snarled at him, and he reached and scratched it behind the ears as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and that dog was preoccupied, and Sir Guiden walked calmly on past.

The dog things also made no move to stop Rada Lwa, whose blazing pink eyes were fixed on the throne. On he strode, his black robes flapping angrily about his legs, pushing through the crowd toward the dais, shouting in Spanish, “Shoot! Open fire upon him! This is the Judge of Ages, Juez de Edades, the enemy of progress and the people, the betrayer of the dreams of perfecting mankind!”

Rada Lwa stepped to one of the dog things and reached for the dog’s weapon, as if he meant to take it from the animal’s paws. The animal looked up at him casually, as if bemused at the interruption.

Rada Lwa evidently did not have Mickey’s way with beasts.

A moment later, bleeding from the bites on his hands, and from the shocking blows to his face and stomach, and curled in a fetal position with puke mingled with blood drops in a puddle on the floor, Rada Lwa managed to haul himself unsteadily to his feet, spread his arms wide, and call out, “Don’t any of you degenerate evolutionary dead ends and vermin-riddled subcreatures in this place understand Spanish? Shoot! Fuego!”

A tall and broad figure was looming darkly behind him. “I understand Spanish, Señor.”

8. Knight and Scholar

As it turned out, the Blue Men had not taken all the weapons from Sir Guiden, merely most of them. His cloak pin was a large wooden crucifix set with an ivory image of Christ, and, as it turned out, the bottom half of the crucifix was hollow and contained the blade of a long, narrow knife called a misericorde, and when he put one muscular elbow about the throat of the albino, he drew the knife with his other, and held the pointed tip before one pink eye, close enough to touch the little white, sensitive lashes of the lower lid.

Menelaus called down in Latin, “Sir Guy, none of the systems respond to my voice-command, and I am a phantasm to the cameras, so I need to get my hands on the sarcophagus controls, but there is a quarter score of dogs in the way.”

In Latin, Sir Guy said back, “It’s been forty years for me, Liege. My life has been spent in your service. Have you no kinder word than that?”

“Ah, sorry. Guess I am kinda rushed. Hey! Congratulations on getting married.”

“Thank you, Liege.”

“You’re too old for her.”

“Same to you, Liege,” said Sir Guy, nodding with his head toward the huge portrait on the back wall.

“Have your beautiful young wife stun Rada Lwa with her flower magic, so he don’t cause more commotion, and then have her zap the doggies blocking my way. She is among the Nymphs. Don’t kiss her, or the Blue Men will know something is up. Are you the guy, Guy, that changed all my passcodes?”

“Liege, I had to tell the blond Black Chinaman who smiles like a jackal how to open the doors with a serpentine so that Ull would let him at the controls.”

“His name is Kine Larz. I wondered what was up.”

“He was supposed to switch the defenses from nonlethal to lethal, and run the reload check. Thanks to him, everything should be online and warmed up.”

“Better than I hoped! Back to business: to get me to the sarcophagus, I am going to get you up here to this nice suit of powered armor next to me, except it will hurt, and you might get killed.”

“I was shriven by the chaplain before I hibernated, Liege. I am good to go.”

Ull and the Blue Men were watching the assault on Rada Lwa with narrowed eyes.

Ull said, “Preceptor Illiance! This commotion partakes of deception. Is this not Relict His Excellency Grandmaster Sir Guiden von Hompesch zu Bolheim, whom we have confirmed is a Tomb Guardian? What attempted the relict Rada Lwa to say, that the Judge of Ages sends this man to suppress his words? Relict Beta Anubis! Translate Rada Lwa’s comment at once!”

But Illiance was looking perturbed. “I happen to disagree, wise Mentor. I have studied the facial tells and muscular contractions of the Judge of Ages. Relict Sir Guiden is not one of his men. His expression shows he does not recognize him.” Illiance, of course, was looking at Scipio, who did not recognize Sir Guiden at all.

Menelaus said in Iatric, “Mentor Ull! As Preceptor Ydmoy warned us, the relicts are behaving with unexpected eccentricity! I am speaking to calm down those two, one of whom attempted most uncouthly and unwisely to assault one of your Followers. Rada Lwa’s comment was to the effect, Mentor Ull, that two or more of your Followers, while afflicted with mange, brain damage, scrofula, and syphilis, copulated with your mother to produce you, passing their infirmities along, but cheated your mother of the transaction money involved, despite the extremely low fee and reasonable rates. The matter being biologically and economically unlikely, I presume some scurrilous insult is intended. The Judge of Ages is disturbed, and demands that the albino be ejected from the chamber at once, pending his further displeasure!”

Illiance was looking back and forth. “Corporal Beta Sterling Anubis and Grandmaster Sir Guiden von Hompesch zu Bolheim are cohorts and associates of each other. The signs are unmistakable. How it is none of you see it?”

Menelaus said, “None of them see it, Illiance, because they have their weirdness chip switched on and their emotion chip switched off. But I can explain! I know that man because he was my master when I was an interred here, learning how to take care of coffins. I asked him to step up and hinder the eccentric albino, who was annoying your Follower. My purpose is to allow the Judge of Ages to conduct his hearing without further delay or commotion. Is that not clear? Is that not reasonable?”