Nothing would have shocked him more: Illiance got down on both knees.

Illiance said, “I speak for all the Blue Men. We admit our guilt and appeal to your mercy.”

Menelaus tried to think of something witty or outrageous or crass to say that would break the uncomfortable tension of silence that filled the chamber at those words. But the tension merely hardened and thickened like ice on a pond beneath a tree in late fall, when the gaiety of leaves gives way to the barrenness of barren twigs.

Illiance spoke with stark honesty. Menelaus saw his naked soul, and wished he could turn his eyes away.

2. Guilty Plea

“Judge of Ages, this world of tomorrow into which we woke terrified us, because we thought the future would be filled with children of ours, and better than us. Instead it is filled with nothing but ice and emptiness.

“We are indoctrinated from the crèche to believe that, in dire emergency, the end of preserving the race excuses any means used for that end, however unconscionable.

“In this, we are deceived: This is the philosophy of the Machine, who betrays the world and all our futures into servitude in survival’s name. And any deed can be called an aid to survival. Every day is a dire emergency to a mind of fear.

“I now see that this philosophy of survival was meant as a leash to lead us as a dog is led. Mentor Ull tugged on our chain, and when he told us we needed to dig to survive, we dug; and to steal, we stole; and to abduct, imprison, build a prison camp, become first jailors and then torturers and mind-rapists—we, whose order meant us to live lives of contemplation, self-sufficiency, and retirement from the evils of the world—we became the evils of the world.

“We betrayed everything in the name of survival, and in the end, the Order of Simplified Vulnerary Aetiology did not survive.

“We are Locusts.

“Worse, we are Locusts who lack the tendrils that allow us the mental unity and community of purpose Locusts enjoy: we have all the evils of Locusts and none of their good!

“We repent our crimes and accept with philosophical resignation whatever penalty you inflict, or even with pride, if only our example can deter any others in like danger of yielding to such tempting self-deceptions.

“We are an altruistic species, so designed by our genetics, and eagerly accept to be sacrificed for the good of others, even to the point of accepting the painful death needed to act as a warning to others not to condone nor repeat our crimes.”

3. Sentencing

Menelaus, perhaps for the first time in his long and loudmouthed life, felt tongue-tied. Anything he said would seem trite and trivial compared to that confession; especially one uttered by a dwarf whose upbringing and way of life did not even have an idea, much less a practice, of confession.

Menelaus had truly thought these so-called Simple Men were simply the most arrogant little bastards he had ever met. And yet there was Illiance, dressed in what (among his people) was a cross between his Sunday-go-to-meeting duds and the uniform of a four-star general. And he was kneeling, meek as you please, not just willing to be punished, but asking.

Menelaus said softly, “You understand, Illiance—Expositor Illiance, I mean—that there is no such person as the Judge of Ages. That is just a name people made up after I was buried. This is not my chair, nor is this my chamber. This place was also made up by people wanting to glorify themselves by glorying-up me. You searched here. Remember the closet where you found the coffeepot, the one with the dartboard on the wall and the ashtray in the bathtub? That is where I stow myself between slumbers. I am not the Judge of Ages.”

The Blue Man’s hands smoothed down the severely barren fabric of his gemless coat, as if removing a wrinkle.

Then, raising his head, Illiance looked Menelaus in the eye. “At times, we must fulfill the roles in which fate garbs us.”

Menelaus was silent a long moment, pondering. “Very well. You are guilty of trespass, breach of faith, assault, theft and robbery, conversion of property, kidnapping, false imprisonment, desecration of graves, torture, maiming, intentional infliction of emotional distress, Savantry, mind-rape.

“Also, you are guilty of breech of the peace, melee, assaults both with deadly weapons and with incendiary or explosive deadly weapons, invasion by instrument, assault by means of molecular engine, widespread destruction of property.

“And furthermore, due to your conspiratorial association with Ull, who committed murder in the course of a conspiracy to commit other felonies with your encouragement and consent, you are also guilty of three counts of homicide.

“The court also notes the aggravating circumstances of the homicides: First, that the murders were committed by most foully and brutally tearing the victims via setting deadly and vicious dogs on them; second, that these dogs, being rational creatures but unable to achieve the full moral capacity of human reason, and thus not being responsible for their conduct in a legal measure, were nonetheless involved in an egregious crime, rightfully regarded as the worst a servant creature to the race of Man can perform, which is the destruction of human life; and in so doing you permanently and irrevocably stained the conscience of the dogs who did the murder, who are now legally deodands, and subject to destruction for the safety of the public; third, that the victims were denied a Christian burial or a marker to settle the uncertainty of any who might later in sorrow seek for them.

“However, the court takes notice of the fact that, no matter the outcome, if either the Hyades or the Melusine ravish me of the Tombs and despoil all those under my possession, the deterrent effect of any punishment will be moot. You have volunteered for pain to deter others and thus perhaps to save them from your fate; but circumstances provide that there shall be no others to deter.

“The court also notes the fact that the crime is unrepeatable, and therefore there is no strong public reason to remove you, by death, incarceration, transportation, or hibernation, from the current society.

“The court notes that some penalties allegedly aim at rehabilitating the wrongdoer: however, it is well and anciently known that no civilized law recognizes this as a legitimate exercise of the sovereign power, since the sovereign is neither tutor nor sage nor father confessor.

“The point of law in civilized nations is retribution, that the evils men do might thereby recoil upon them, as simple justice and thus the security and liberty of the people demand. Howbeit, in this case, Oenoe the Nymph, and the court in our own person, are obliged to plead with the court for leniency: which plea we will grant with pleasure, and seek therefore no retaliation against you, howsoever richly deserved.

“This leaves only the question of restitution. You were told, and you disregarded, that the means to escape the wrath of the Judge of Ages was to restore and return every artifact you have stolen, repair every coffin you have cannibalized, return all the people you have carried off, and make good every injury.

“The court finds that your indigent personal circumstances, you being yourself a Thaw in a strange era and a member of a contemplative order that practices poverty, makes the performance of restitution impossible; therefore the court sentences you to death by progressive suspension failure…”

Illiance, who had perhaps the power to destroy everyone in the chamber, merely closed his eyes and inclined his head in submission, uttering no word of defense.

“… but the court further orders the sentence suspended upon your parole and oath that you will do everything in your power to aid and assist the defense of these Tombs and the people therein; namely, that you apply to the Sovereign Military Hospitalier Order of Saint John of Jerusalem of Rhodes of Malta and of Colorado to serve them as neophyte and squire or in whatever capacity the utmost and unstinting exercise of ability and faith might allow; and that, should you betray them, or be found by the Grand Master or your superior officers to be without the courage and discipline, devotion or firmness of will required of this service, that they shall appear before this court each in his own person, not by writing, and vow solemnly that your service yields neither honor nor use to the Hospitalier Order; whereupon the court shall carry the execution into effect in all due haste and solemnity, that you shall be taken to a coffin set aside for this purpose, and cellular motions suspended below the revival threshold, so as to pass without pain or awareness from sleep to slumber to death.