"He will try again," said the blue man.

"It doesn't make any sense," said Thaddeus. "If he's afraid to die away from home, killing himself is about the last thing he should be considering."

"He won't do it because it is sensible," said Mr. Ahasuerus. "He has been in a severe depression."

I arrived with the coffee.

"Thanks," said Thaddeus. He turned to the blue man. "You want a cup?"

"No, thank you."

"Has Dapper Dan got a particular friend in this bunch, someone who could talk a little sense to him?" asked Thaddeus. "I can have him watched twenty-four hours a day but it would be a lot easier on all of us if I didn't have to."

"He spent a lot of time speaking with the Human Lizard and the Sphinx on the voyage to Earth," offered Mr. Ahasuerus.

"Tojo," said Thaddeus, "get Numa and Albert over here."

I sought out the two aliens. Numa refused to speak with Thaddeus, but Albert followed me to the table.

"Your friend Dapper Dan has gone off the deep end," said Thaddeus, as the Human Lizard took a seat.

"I don't understand."

"He's become irrational."

"Why?" hissed Albert the Alligator. "Because he doesn't like slavery?"

"Because he tried to kill himself," said Thaddeus patiently. "And I gather that according to his beliefs, this is not exactly the best way to enjoy a happy afterlife."

"He's going to die on your world anyway," said Albert in his distinct and sibilant whisper. "Why not get it over with as soon as possible, so that he can begin searching for his deity immediately?"

"You're as crazy as he is!" snapped Thaddeus in exasperation.

"Because I see nothing wrong in his killing himself to avoid a lifetime of degradation?" hissed Albert.

"If it's such a tempting alternative, why haven't you tried it?" said Thaddeus.

"Because my situation is different," answered Albert. "This experience, distasteful as it is, constitutes only the smallest portion of my lifetime. I shall be alive centuries after you are nothing but an unpleasant memory."

Thaddeus shot Mr. Ahasuerus a quick look, and the blue man nodded.

"How comforting," said Thaddeus dryly. "I don't suppose all those years of experience you've piled up might give you a hint about Dapper Dan's situation?"

"His situation is intolerable," said Albert, staring unblinking at Thaddeus with his cold lifeless eyes. "It will remain intolerable until you release him."

"That wasn't exactly the answer I had in mind," said Thaddeus. "Can't you speak to him, tell him about the glories of his home world and of all the wonderful things that await him there?"

"There is nothing wonderful about his planet," hissed the Human Lizard.

"Maybe not to a refugee from the Reptile House," said Thaddeus, "but it must be a desirable place for him."

"I doubt it," said Albert. "It is a world of bitter extremes of climate and a totalitarian theocracy."

"That he believes in," said Thaddeus.

"Believing in his religion makes it no less oppressive," said Albert emotionlessly.

"Then talk to him about his family, about how much they'll miss him."

"They won't," replied Albert.

"What are you talking about?"

"He is an outcast."

Thaddeus turned to Mr. Ahasuerus. "How the hell did you put this group together—empty the jails and the loony bins?"

"I know nothing about this," said Mr. Ahasuerus.

"Suppose you enlighten us," said Thaddeus, turning back to the Human Lizard.

"He became an outcast when he elected to come here," said Albert. "The moment he missed his daily religious sacrament he ceased to exist to his family."

"Then why the hell did he come?" demanded Thaddeus.

"Had he returned he would have done certain penances—hideous penances, even by your standards—and he would have been exonerated. But until that occurs, he might as well be dead as far as his friends and family are concerned.

Indeed, he is less than dead to them."

"And he accepted that just to set foot on a little ball of shit spinning around a distant sun?" said Thaddeus uncomprehendingly. He turned to me. "He must be one unhappy monkeyman."

"He is," I said softly.

"I wonder what he thought he'd find here?" mused Thaddeus.

"Something other than what he found," hissed Albert coldly.

"How about you?" said Thaddeus, seemingly anxious to change the subject. "Why are you here?"

"I am an exobiologist."

"A what?"

"My life's work is the study of alien life forms. I was presented with an opportunity to visit a planet I had never been to before. I took it."

"You mean you could have told us right off the bat why some of you were getting sick and how to cure you?" demanded Thaddeus.

"Probably."

"Then why the hell didn't you?"

"Most of them, like the Missing Link, would be better off dead," said Albert.

"Yeah?" said Thaddeus. "Well, I just hope you're as unhappy as he is."

"Why?"

"I don't like you very much," said Thaddeus. "I don't like your looks, and I don't like the way you speak, and I don't like your attitude."

"Have you considered how your attitude might appear to one of us?" asked Albert.

Thaddeus glared at him for a long moment. "We're getting off the subject," he said at last. "Will you speak to him?"

"I will not."

"And you?" he said, looking at Mr. Ahasuerus.

"I will try," replied the blue man. "He is my responsibility."

"Good," said Thaddeus, rising to his feet. "Hey, Alvin."

The big guy hurried over.

"Alvin, keep a close eye on Dapper Dan for the couple of days. If you have to tie him down to keep from trying to off himself, do it. And have Queenie tell Gloria to go to town tomorrow for more sodium pills."

Alvin nodded, and Thaddeus walked over to the Missing Link. He didn't say a word, just stood and looked at him. Dapper Dan was asleep now, breathing deeply and regularly, but his face was troubled, as if he were having a bad dream. Thaddeus reached out a hand as if he was going to give the Missing Link a reassuring pat on the shoulder; when his hand got halfway to its mark he suddenly drew back.

"Come on, Tojo!" he snapped. "There's no sense hanging around here. Everything's back to normal."

I followed him to the trailer. Neither of us was sleepy, so he opened a pair of beers and handed one to me. Jupiter Monk entered as we were drinking them in silence.

"Hope you don't mind the intrusion," he said, rubbing his hands and blowing on them, "but old Alvin woke the whole place up a few minutes ago looking for mustard, of all things, and since I saw your light on I thought—"

"Stop jabbering and grab yourself a beer," said Thaddeus.

"I thought you'd never ask," grinned Monk, walking to the refrigerator. "Ah, I see you've switched from bottles to cans."

"It's what they had," replied Thaddeus with a shrug.

Monk popped open a can and joined us in the living room.

"Man, it's a bitch of a night, isn't it?" he said. "Reminds me of the Klondike, except up there we didn't have anything to worry about except polar bears and wolves and maybe an occasional moose."