“I don’t get guys.” Sally plopped down next to me. “Why can’t he see what he has right in front of his nose? Why can’t he just smarten up and realize that you are the best girl for him? Why can’t he just wake up and see that he loves you?”
“Yeah,” I sighed and looked at her. “The same goes for Cody. Why can’t he see that you’re right here?”
“I wish I knew.” She shrugged. “Maybe I’m too ugly for him. Too fat. Too whatever.”
“Sally.” I frowned at her and jumped up. I pulled her arms up and pulled her up from the bed. “Look at me,” I said loudly as her eyes drifted away from mine. “You’re beautiful. You’re kind. You’re loyal. You’re the most generous person I know. You are not ugly. You are far from fat.” I squeezed her hands. “My brother is a fool if he doesn’t see that.” I looked into her grateful brown eyes and my heart broke at the pain I saw in her gaze. “You’re my best friend and my sister. And you will find the perfect man for you. Maybe that’s not Cody,” I said with a quick smile. “And maybe TJ’s not my perfect guy, either. Maybe we need to wake up and smell the roses. Maybe our Mr. Rights are out there looking for us right now.”
“So you want to blow TJ off tonight, then?” she asked me with a grin. “We can go and look for the guys who are looking for us.”
“That’s not such a bad idea,” I said, though my heart fell at her words. I knew TJ was bad news for my heart. The more time I spent with him, the more I fell for him. His eyes had this way of piercing into my soul, and his smile was like a hammer, chipping away at the wall around my heart. Every time he smiled, a dent was made. He was becoming a part of me. When he was inside of me, I felt like we were truly one.
I had to keep reminding myself that this was an illusion. These feelings, this want, this obsession, weren’t real. At the end of four weeks, I was very likely to find myself torn and broken apart. I didn’t know how I would survive without him, and that scared me. We’d only just gotten into this arrangement. We’d only just begun this farce. We’d only just begun, but already I was blinded by my love for him. I walked away from Sally and grabbed my phone and punched in TJ’s numbers.
“What are you doing?” Sally screeched, her eyes widening as she watched me making the call.
“Morning, sunshine.” TJ’s voice was silky and smooth as he picked up the phone.
“Morning,” I said. “I have some bad news.”
“What bad news?” His tone changed and I swallowed hard. Sally was shaking her head at me and frowning.
“Are you crazy?” she whispered. “I was joking.”
“I can’t come tonight,” I said softly as I smiled at Sally. I needed to be a good friend more than I needed to be a good fake fiancée.
“What are you talking about?” TJ’s voice was angry.
“I have to do something else tonight.”
“You have a date?” His tone was deadly and I shivered. Who knew that he would get so pissed off so quickly? And why would he think I had a date?
“Um, not technically,” I squeaked out.
“Not technically?” he said softly, slowly, and I waited for him to continue before speaking. “What does that mean, Mila? Do I have to remind you of our deal? Of the contract that you signed?”
“TJ, I’m just going out with Sally,” I said quickly before he started getting carried away. “She’s feeling down.”
“Mila.” Sally glared at me.
“I mean, she wanted us to go out and see if we meet the men of our dreams.” I paused as I listened to the silence on the other side of the phone. Even Sally was looking at me with a shocked expression. “That came out wrong,” I said in a quiet tone. “TJ?” I asked, wondering what he was thinking.
“You want to bow out of your obligation tonight so you can go and tart yourself up and meet strange men?”
“I didn’t say I was going to tart myself up and I said the men of our dreams, our soul mates, not strange men.”
“So you want to meet the man of your dreams tonight and then come and fuck me tomorrow night? What are you going to tell him if he asks you out? ‘Sorry, I can’t go because the other man I’m seeing wants to bend me over and fuck me?’ ”
“TJ,” I gasped, aghast, but also slightly turned on.
“What?” he said and chuckled, but he didn’t sound amused. “I guess that was slightly wrong. I should have said that you want me to fuck you as badly as I want to. I’m sure your panties are wet right now, aren’t they?” His voice became lower and rougher. “I bet you’re wishing I were with you right now so I could spank that ass and pull those panties to the side as I bend you over and slam into you from behind.”
“I’m going to the mall to buy a new dress,” I said stiffly as I changed the subject, embarrassed that I was feeling turned on by his words, and in front of Sally who was looking at me with a quizzical expression. “The dress is for your party tonight,” I continued. “So I’ll be using the credit card you gave me.”
“So now you’re coming?” he said in a tone that said he’d achieved exactly what he’d wanted. “I guess you’re missing my big—”
“TJ!” I almost shouted as I cut him off. “You’re too much.” I rolled my eyes at Sally, whose eyes at narrowed at me. “Yes, I’m coming,” I said stiffly. “I’ll let Sally cry herself to sleep while we’re out partying.”
“Oh, we’ll be doing a lot more than partying,” he said in an amused tone, his voice deep. “Maybe tell her you’ll be getting the fuck of your life. Maybe that will make her feel better about being ditched.”
“You’re disgusting,” I said, as I felt my stomach stirring.
“You don’t feel that way when I’m inside of you. You didn’t feel that way when I had you up on that roof. You didn’t feel that way the other morning when I was going down on you. You didn’t think I was disgusting when you—”
“TJ!” I screeched.
“What?” He laughed. “Am I embarrassing you?”
I was silent as I waited for him to change the subject.
“I sure hope not,” he said silkily. “I have a lot more to show you. I have plans for us, Mila.”
“I know,” I said softly, a small smile on my face as I rolled my eyes and shook my head at Sally. “I have plans for you as well.”
“Oh?” he said, his tone curious. “What plans?”
“You’ll see,” I said with a small laugh. “You’re not the only kinky bitch on the phone,” I said, and then before he could speak, I said, “Pick me up at seven.” And then I hung up the phone.
“Whoa, what was that about?” Sally said eagerly as she gazed at me. “And kinky bitch? Where did that come from?”
“I have no idea.” I laughed. “I can’t believe I said that.” I groaned. “Kinky bitch? Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I said that. He just kept saying stuff trying to turn me on, so I wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine.”
“What do you have planned?” Her eyes were wide as she stared at me. “You’ve been holding back on me, girl.”
“I have nothing planned.” I groaned. “I just said that to him to make him think I had something planned.”
“Oh.” She giggled. “You need to think of something then.”
“You think so?” I asked, groaning. “I mean, I have no idea what I can do that would make him believe that I’m a kinky bitch.”
“You can do whatever you want.” Sally smiled, but I could tell from the look on her face that she was doubtful.
“What am I doing, Sally?” I sighed, my head suddenly feeling heavy and my stomach wracked with nerves. “I feel like I’m playing a role, being some character I’m not and I just don’t know what to do. I feel so happy being with him, but it all seems so fleeting. Like I don’t know what he really wants, and if it’s the kinky sex that’s important to him, well, how’s that supposed to make me feel?”
“I don’t know what to say.” She chewed on her lower lip. “I wish I knew what to say. I want to say all the things you want to hear, like this is going to grow and work out, but I don’t know. I mean, this is real life, right? When do guys ever really change? I mean, do you feel like there’s a possibility that he really likes you, like-likes you, likes you?”