“I used to think that,” I said and then I paused. “Actually, I don’t know if what I felt was real or if it was all in my head. Some sort of hope manifesting itself in me and making me see things that aren’t real.”

“Don’t overthink it,” Sally said and then grabbed my hand. “Just see what he says and does. I mean, you’ve waited your whole life for him, you might as well see exactly what he’s open to, what he might really be feeling.”

“Yeah.” I nodded and smiled, but my heart sank as I thought about her words. They were exactly the same sort of words I’d said to her before about Cody, but what did they really mean? Nothing. Sally and I were both keeping hope alive, but I wasn’t sure if it was worth it. Were we wasting our lives and silently killing ourselves slowly with the wait?

***

“So where should we go?” I asked Sally as we got into her car. “Macy’s? Dillard’s?”

“Macy’s?” She looked at me and laughed. “Are you out of your mind?”

“What’s wrong with Macy’s?” I laughed, trying to forget all my worries and just enjoy the afternoon out.

“You have a black credit card.” She grinned at me. “With what I can only assume is a massive limit. Actually, do you know the limit?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I have no idea.”

“Call the number on the back of the card.” She turned the key in the ignition and started her car, but turned to me instead of pulling out of the driveway. “Come on, Mila.”

“Seriously, Sally?” I shook my head. “I’m not calling to find out the limit. They aren’t going to tell me anyway.”

“Why not?” Her eyes crinkled as she stared at me. I knew that look in her eyes. She wanted to know and she wasn’t going to back down.

“Fine.” I giggled. “You know this makes us horrible people, right?”

“Why does it make us horrible? Remember when we got our first credit card in college? Remember how we called every week to see if the limit had been raised?”

“That’s because we were stupid and wanted to buy things we couldn’t afford.” I laughed as I pulled out the card. “Thank God we only got thousand-dollar limits. You know how long it took me to pay that off?”

“I thought you were still paying it off.” Sally smirked and I laughed as I hit her playfully in the shoulder.

“You’re mean.”

“And you’re a shopaholic.” She grinned. “However, at least you aren’t a user. You’re not going to go crazy with TJ’s card.”

“I would never do that,” I said and dialed the credit card phone number on my cell and put it on speakerphone. I shook my head at Sally as she grinned at me, waiting eagerly to hear what the limit was. I have to admit that I was slightly excited myself to find out what the limit would be. Not that I would come close to using all of the money. Or even using the card again after I bought this dress. I didn’t want TJ to think I was taking advantage of the situation.

My heart felt sad as I thought about him and the situation we were in. I was happy that we were kind of dating, if dating was what we could call our situation. I just didn’t know. We were seeing each other. We were having sex. I liked him—well, loved him. I thought he kind of liked me. However, I was also his fake fiancée, and I wasn’t sure if that negated everything. Was he my boyfriend? Would he ever really be my boyfriend? I tried not to dwell on all the things in my mind. It made me doubt the relationship I found myself in.

I looked down at the phone and listened to a voice welcoming me to American Express. I punched in the numbers on the card and waited for them to ask me to verify some sort of password, so that I could look at Sally and say, “See? I can’t find out that info.” I was shocked when the voice asked me what I wanted to do next. I pressed 2 to hear my available balance and both Sally and I gasped loudly when the voice said, “You have an available credit limit of one hundred thousand dollars.” I pressed END on the phone and looked at Sally with wide eyes. “Did I just hear that correctly?” I said, feeling slightly dazed.

“If you heard one hundred thousand dollars, then yes.” She grinned at me, her eyes bright. “I cannot believe it.”

“I cannot believe it, either.” I put the card back in my wallet. “He’s crazy.”

“Yeah, he is.” Sally started laughing. “Does he not know you?”

“Whatever.” I giggled as we pulled out of the driveway. “I’m responsible.”

“Since when?” She raised an eyebrow at me. “Last week?”

“Last week is as good as ever.” I laughed. “Seriously, though, I’m not going to take advantage of the situation. It’s just for this dress.”

“Uh huh,” Sally said. “And some new sexy bras, underwear, heels, maybe a new trench coat, a leather jacket, um—”

“A leather jacket?” I said, interrupting her. “Why would I be getting a leather jacket?”

“Because they’re so cute.” She giggled. “I notice you didn’t ask why you should get the trench coat.” She winked. “Bow chicka bow wow.”

“Sally, you’re so immature.” I giggled. “I’m not going to go crazy on the card and I’m going to pay back whatever I spend.”

“Okay.” Sally didn’t bat an eye, but her voice was unbelieving. “Whatever you say.”

“I am.” I laughed. “Though it might not be in terms of cash money.”

“Like I said, bow chicka bow wow.”

“Ha ha, he’s lucky.” I giggled. “Most guys would love to have this.” I danced around in her seat, suddenly feeling light and happy. “And if anyone ever saw me or heard me saying that, they would think I was a ho.”

“A ho, ho, ho.” Sally nodded and looked at me. “So where shall we go, then? To the boutiques downtown?”

“I guess so.” I shrugged. “You think they’ll have anything there?”

“Yup.” She nodded. “There’s this new haute couture dress shop next to the cupcake store. I think they have vintage Chanel and Vera Wang and some Versace gowns.”

“That sounds expensive.” I frowned.

“Says the hundred-thousand lady.” Sally laughed.

“I don’t wanna be the hundred-thousand-dollar ho.” I giggled.

“Who, you?” Sally said as she turned on her radio and I turned it up as it connected to the Bluetooth on her phone and the latest Pitbull song started playing. I just laughed in my seat and stared out of the window as Sally drove. I felt excited about the evening, though I wasn’t sure what to expect.

“Your phone is ringing, Mila.” Sally tapped me on the shoulder to break me out of my daydream.

“Oops,” I said as I grabbed my phone out of my bag. “Hello,” I said as I placed it next to my face quickly.

“Where are you?” TJ said softly, his voice sending a warm feeling down my spine.

“I’m in the car with Sally. We’re going to get a dress and a few other necessities,” I added, feeling slightly guilty.

“Good.” He sounded pleased. “Tell Sally that I’d be more than happy to treat her to a new dress as well, for taking you out.”

“What?” I said, surprised by his generosity, though I really shouldn’t have been. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to,” he said softly. “Tell her to get something nice and we can have her and Cody over this weekend, right after you move in.”

“Like a double date?” I said hesitantly, not sure if that was such a good idea.

“Or just a dinner,” he said smoothly. “Just four friends eating together.”

“Okay,” I said, disappointment swelling in my belly. Friends. That dreaded word that made me come back down to earth again.

“There’s no need for expectations,” he continued. “We can’t make them get together. They aren’t us.”

“So are we together?” I asked, wanting to know exactly what we were to each other. Hope once again filled me. Maybe he really was into me after all.

“Of course we’re together—you’re my fiancée,” he said and I wanted to interrupt him. I wanted to say that that part was a lie and ask what the real truth was between us, but I was scared that he would say that there was nothing real between us. I was scared that he would say that this was it. And I didn’t want to hear that. I couldn’t hear that. It would break me. And right now I wanted to believe that it was more, even if that was just a farce. I didn’t want to know the truth. I didn’t want my bubble to burst already. Not now. Not yet. I wasn’t sure I could go through with all of my plans if I thought he didn’t have any real feelings for me. If I thought that I was just a booty-call to him.