Relief sweeps through me. My little boy’s safe and secure. I lay my head back on the pillow and close my eyes as I fight the emotions bubbling in me.

“I’m sorry you had to find out that way about… well… everything.”

My eyelids fly open. “Sorry?” My pulse surges and the monitor gives away the temper rising in me.

“Lizzie, calm down.” Standing up, he rubs his neck.

The beeps get faster.

He lowers his arms and faces his palms to me. “Just… Stop.”

“What are you doing here?” I look around him to the door, and a biting pain shoots down my arm, making me gasp for breath. “Where’s Noah?”

“Way to make a guy feel special.” He laughs but his face shows no light. “He’s not here, sweetheart.”

The concern on his face makes my insides twist. This is my friend Alex. The one who’s been by my side for the last three years. Gentle eyes, which won’t quite meet mine, a sad smile, which doesn’t make it to his eyes, graces his face. My whole body shudders with cold even though I’m under a layer of blankets.

“Is… is he…?” My heart falters with my words.

He places a reassuring hand on my forearm. “He’s alive, don’t worry. How are you keeping up?”

The relief which sweeps through me is indescribable, yet there’s something in Alex’s expression that won’t let the relief take away the ache in my heart.

“Where is he?” I crane my neck around him to see if I can find Noah.

“I’m not sure.” He eyes me for a second. “He left.”

“Left?”

Alex nods and drops his gaze. “As soon as you came out of the operating theatre he came in to see you. When he came out, he said he needed to leave.”

My chest constricts, making it difficult for me to get in any air. My vision fogs over.

“You need to calm down, Lizzie.”

“Was he injured? I need to see him. I need to tell him I love him. I need to know he’s okay.”

Again Alex runs his hand around the back of his neck. “He had a couple of flesh wounds, nothing major. He didn’t even get treatment before he left.”

His words release some pressure from my chest. Noah’s fine. So why isn’t he here?

“I think he just needs to let off some steam. This must be tough for him to deal with, and you know Noah.” He blows out a breath and his gaze goes to the wall behind my head.

Tears well in my eyes. I do know him. The knowledge he’s related in some way to Mac would have been enough to make him wild. He’ll worry he let me down. He’ll worry he isn’t good enough, when the truth is there’s never been a man more right in this world. But he doesn’t know that, because I wouldn’t hear him out when he needed me to the most. It was me who let him down. The things I said to him… Oh, God.

My bottom lip begins to tremble and Alex places his hand on my forearm. “It’ll be okay, sweetheart.”

The voice that has been my protection for years soothes my breaths, but hurt wells in my stomach, along with anger and I turn on Alex. “What were you even doing there?”

He pulls his hand from my arm and sits a little straighter. “You know I worked for you,” he begins. He sucks on the inside of his cheek and glances away from me.

“Of course. It’s how I met you.”

“Do you know who owns Pegasus?”

“No, should I?”

He laughs. “Well, it would make all this easier on me but, no, I just wondered.”

Putting his elbow on his knees, he drops his head into his hands and scrubs his face. “Okay. Bear owns Pegasus.”

I try and let what he’s telling me sink in. Bear runs Pegasus. Alex worked for Bear? Bear’s Noah’s best friend.

“When you hooked up with Noah that first night and left the club with him, I warned you away. But you being the strong-headed pain in my arse you are went with him anyway.”

“I remember.” How could I forget? I’d never want to.

“I thought it would be best to keep you away, but Bear thought it would be a one night thing. He thought Noah would fu—sleep with you, get the need out of his system and that would be it.” He gives me a tight smile. “To be honest, I thought the same. Until Noah took you to his home. He never did something like that. I knew then we were fucked, because he must have felt something for you, even that early on. Then you fell in love with him, and all I could do was help you cover up your tracks with Mac. I failed big time on that one.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yeah, well, it still felt like it. Anyway, I… um… never stopped working for Pegasus.”

“What?” The last three years of my life become a lie in a matter of seconds.

“It’s not what you’re thinking. Stop looking at me like that.” His expression turns sorrowful.

“I thought you were my friend. Not being paid to babysit me.”

“I am your friend. You know I am.”

“Did Noah know? Did he know where I was the whole time? Was it him paying you?” My voice rises with the fear that he knew and never came.

“Fuck no. He had no clue. We weren’t that stupid. I told you when we left that Noah loved you and you couldn’t possibly have said anything to him to stop that. He would’ve killed Mac. He couldn’t know what happened, because we know Noah. We know what he’s capable of. He’d be locked up in maximum security by now. Killing an enemy as part of his job is not the same as him offing a celebrity. Protecting you, avenging what happened to you, would have been his only option. The government wouldn’t have stepped in if he lost his shit like that; he’s retired. None of us wanted him to go down. That’s why I kept you away till Mac was gone.”

“Why did you never tell me?”

“Because you needed me as a friend. In doing what I did, I lied to one of my friends and my cousin.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you honestly think if I’d told Bear you were pregnant he wouldn’t have told Noah? He only found out when you returned. He was angry anyway because you hadn’t been protected under his watch. Noah was—is his best friend. And Noah didn’t know Bear ran Mac’s internal security. He couldn’t know. This op has been going on since I started working for you. He did what he had to do to protect him, and I did the same with you.”

“So you kept it from them?”

“Of course I did. Bear was living with the fact he knew you were being used as a punching bag but couldn’t tell Noah a damn thing. He thought he could fix everything. Plus, like I said already, Noah would flip the fuck out. I’d been brought in six months before you even met Noah for this op and to try and run interference, but I couldn’t be there 24/7. It’s like he knew I was watching out for you. The attacks seemed to happen when I wasn’t on shift. I couldn’t stop it. Bear was powerless. He hated it. I know the feeling. The other men on the payroll weren’t close enough for Bear to instruct the way he did me. They were from an agency, brought in by Mac’s management. He didn’t trust them at all. Bear only ran the systems, but he requested to have a man put inside. That was me. He wanted me to protect you but look like I was on Mac’s security and keep my eyes on our objective.”

I’d often wondered why when Mac went on tour Alex always stayed by my side. I’d never thought to ask him because he was such a comfort to me.

I let the information whirl around in my mind. It’s hard to take it all in. And as much in the dark as I was kept, thinking of what Noah is dealing with makes me cringe. His best friend kept the reality from him. It’s going to tear him apart.

We sit in silence and images of the events that led to me being here play in my mind. I need to know the answer to something. “Is what he said true?”

Alex scrunches his face as he thinks about the question. “About him not loving you?”

“No. That’s the biggest pile of crap he’s ever come out with. It hurt to hear him say those things to me. Really hurt.” I drop my gaze away from him and fidget with the cover, rubbing it between my fingers. For a few moments Noah’s painful words pierce my heart again. I let the words tumble in my head until the ones I need to hear replay, then I look back to Alex. “But he made it obvious he was lying,” I point out.