That works. I think we were trying to separate the characters too early to get us on our separate arcs. Having a kid run off during the barricading process works much better than a random Mortimer sighting. When Joe is done, I'll rework the end of my scene to match the beginning of his scene.
Jeff
* * *
Yeah, Jeff, I think you can probably go ahead and start into Randall going after the kid. This sounds great. Loved the scene you just wrote by the way, other than the motivation issues. Excellent dracula head-lopping off action.
Blake
* * *
Okay. I'm back. Just spent 4 hours on the goddamn road.
No, I did nothing to the Dracula 1.5 file.
I'm readying to bring Clay into the picture. Here's the way I see Clay: Randall thinks that without his badge and gun Clay is nothing, but he's wrong. He's one of the good guys. He believes in loyalty and honor and will not back down from a commitment. I see him bitten by a dracula toward the end. He will not allow himself to become one of them. So I see him luring a bunch of them into one of the sun rooms or a large staff meeting room, and setting off one (or maybe a couple) of his high-explosive 40mm grenades, taking them all with him.
Is this okay with everybody?
Paul
* * *
Sounds good, Paul. Lanz will be your main antag, right?
Joe
* * *
Haven't thought of a main antag for Clay. Randall should hate Lanz's guts since he got Jenny fired. And Lanz hates Jenny.
Clay hates them all. They're vermin. He's the Order half of Law & Order and these draculas are radically offensive.
Paul
* * *
Totally down with it. Can't wait to read!
Blake
* * *
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_bat
Just thinking here on ways to continue to make our monsters interesting...since we're basing our draculas more on biology than supernature (word?), what if our draculas exhibit a few creepy characteristics of the real vampire bats...they don't suck blood, their saliva contains an anticoagulant which stops blood from clotting and prolongs bleeding and they lap up the flow (I already made Oasis' tongue a sponge). Maybe this doesn't matter if our draculas are ripping heads off and disemboweling their prey. Also, what if our draculas, along with their keen sense of smell, hunt by sonar, emitting a low-energy sound pulse...they could make some disturbing sound and our characters (maybe my biology-teacher pregnant mother) could speculate on what's going on, and find ways to combat it.
Blake
* * *
When are we losing it? And is Lanz going to cut it? Obviously there's going to be some backup system, but can that be taken out too? Are we going completely dark, limited lighting?
Blake
August 24, 2010
I'm only attaching this because I won't have access to Dropbox until late tonight, and I'm not sure how it will impact what Joe is writing.
Jeff
* * *
Just added a thousand or so words of Clay's first appearance. I'm assuming most of the draculas have left the ER by now in search of fresh blood, leaving the ones they've killed behind...who are now turning.
Paul
August 25, 2010
I think that assumption is a good one. Can't wait to read this, Paul.
FYI - I'll be out of pocket in the mountains on a backpacking trip for a few days starting tomorrow and back into civilization on Saturday.
Blake
* * *
I'm having problems thinking Clay wouldn't call in the cavalry after one look in the ER -- then go in after Shanna.
I think we need more premeditation by Morty. He's been planning this all along. He hired a demolition guy to wire the cell towers to explode, disable land lines, derail the train.
After he receives the skull he makes a call and simply says: "It's here. Go."
Clay can come out of the ER, try to call the sheriff and get no service. He looks up at the hilltop and sees the cell tower lying on its side. "WTF?"
Paul
* * *
Cell phones don't work in the hospital--they have jammers, like the do on airplanes. When Shanna calls Clay, she'll have to use a payphone.
Clay can, and should, radio for help. But there's really not a lot of help. Durango's police force is only about a dozen cops, and half of them are at the train derailing. And even if a dozen cops do come, most will quickly get slaughtered. Then they'll form a perimeter around the hospital and wait for the military to assist. But between Clay arriving and the military coming can be a good two hours. Once the military does arrive, the CDC won't let them in right away, having quarantined the hospital--meaning Clay is stuck in there. They'd need P-4 containment suits, and there probably aren't many in Colorado.
Having Mort premeditate a trap would mean he knew he would go into convulsions when he bit himself with the skull, and then be taken to the hospital. While that could happen, I'm not sure it's necessary. Through simple chain of command and politics it could take five hours before the army finally storms through the hospital, and by that time our book is over.
Joe
* * *
But wouldn't it be kind of cool if Mortimer does have an idea of what will happen? What if he tried the skull on a mouse first? What if that's the opening scene? A cute little mouse getting punctured by a fang and going apeshit and turning into this ravenous little monster. Mort needs lots of blood to pull off his plan, what he really wants, which is to be forever young. What better place to go than a hospital with sick, dying people, and A BLOOD BANK? I think what Paul is getting at is giving Mort a little more forethought. We know we want Mort to walk out a young, healthy 28-year old looking man at the end (reverse night of the living dead end), so what if he has done some orchestration here? He certainly has the means. What would need to be finessed though, is how additional draculas help Mort's goal. Don't they just gobble up more blood he could have? Maybe he intends to fully kill everyone he attacks so they can't regenerate, but that doesn't happen. Or he wants an army of draculas for some other purpose, possibly he has some control over them...maybe he needs them for a diversion so he can walk out unnoticed at the end...
Blake
* * *
Blake and I were just on the phone, and we decided to go with quarantining the hospital, and having the army and CDC come in.
Mort should have some more backstory, but not to the point where he booby-trapped the hospital.
Clay can call it in, go look for Shanna, and the Calvary will come and get wiped out. Then the second tier can set up a perimeter around the hospital, to prevent the infection from spreading, but they won't go in right away.
Joe
* * *
Okay. Either way, Clay gets to make the call, which was my concern.
Paul
* * *
I'm with Joe on this one...I think it's better to keep it an out-of-control outbreak rather than something that Mortimer had planned. There are a shitload of logic issues we'd have to address is this is all part of some grand scheme.
Jeff
August 26, 2010
Have fun, Blake! I'll be heading off to a cabin in the Wisconsin woods the day after you get back.
Jeff
August 27, 2010
I'm planning a scene with Shanna in the chapel where she learns the hard way that crosses are ineffective against the draculas. Anyone else have something like this going? Don't want to duplicate...
Paul
* * *
I believe Blake has written a scene along those lines.