But that doesn't mean you can't do one as well. Or that Shanna can't also be in the chapel at the same time Blake's character is.
When he gets back from his drunken camping weekend, you two can merge the scenes.
Joe
August 28, 2010
I ended my last section with the power going out...but it seems like it'll be insanely difficult for all of us to work this element into our individual sections and keep the timeline consistent. Perhaps we should save that for the finale, where the characters all come together?
Jeff
August 29, 2010
Read your sections, Jeff. Awesome. I'm fine with the lights going out then. I can time it to coincide with you. Make sure Randall has a flashlight on his belt.
I'm almost finished with the section where Randall takes off after the girl. She went to look for her mommy. You might want to fix the ending of JEFF 2.0. Randall can still see Mort run past, and maybe even want to go after him, thinking that he'll kill him and all the others will die, just like you've written it. Except have Jenny stop him and say she needs him with her. End it that way.
Then, when the lights go out, Randall can figure it's Mort who did it. And he's right--Blake and I will write a Mort POV scene where he takes out the generator. So Randall will go looking for the generator to get it started again.
Does that work for you?
Joe
* * *
"Is that...a flamingo?" asked the old woman.
You are a sick, sick man, Joe Konrath.
Paul
* * *
<i>This had a gun show beat to shit.</i>
Just read your scenes, Paul. Awesome. Laughed at the Dirty Harry line. Clay kicks ass.
I fixed a few small typos. At the end of the Shanna chapel scene (or maybe during it) have the electricity cut out. Then we'll all be in the dark for a few scenes until Randall gets the lights working again.
Your Sheriff $$--why not name him after one of your other characters from the RJ series? Maybe a brother or father of someone who died. Be cool if this tied in to your other books in a minor way.
Joe
* * *
A few quickie notes.
We're at 30k words already, and everyone is writing standout scenes. I'm happy to be working with you guys.
We're at a point where global things are happening that we all need to address in our scenes.
1. There's gunfire, thanks to Clay. It will be heard throughout the hospital, so make sure your POV characters address it.
2. Clay used the intercom. This is something that can also be addressed. I'm going to have Jenny do the same thing to contact Randall.
3. The electricity goes out, and will remain out until Randall fixes it. Dr. Lanz is the one who did it. We should all be in the dark while writing our 4.0 scenes.
Paul, your Shanna scene you labeled 1.1 is actually 3.1. So during the current scene, or the next scene, lights out.
Blake, you can go dark right about where your scene left off.
I believe overlapping timeframes is the best way to do this. Readers will be able to pick up that this is all happening at once, and by using cues such as the gunshots and the intercom announcements, they'll be able to keep track of what is happening when.
So far, I see zero difficulty in piecing this together seamlessly. We might need to juggle a scene or two, but it's going to mesh very well.
Joe
* * *
Shanna's conversion at the end of her big scene might be a little over the top, but god it was fun.
Lanz kills the power...anyone know how to make that work? There's gotta be a backup generator. He could destroy that first, then go after the main. But total darkness -- uh-uh. All hospitals have battery-operated emergency lights in all the hallways. I don't see how we can have total darkness, folks, but we can have loooong, deeeeep shadows from which friends and foes can spring.
Randall and Clay need to bump skulls at some point.
Lanz has to go after Jenny. I'd love to do that from alternating POVs with Jenny finally outwitting and killing him -- and he can't believe that he's fallen victim to a lesser mind.
This is proving to be fun.
BTW, I've passed the 10k mark and have miles to go before I sleep.
Paul
* * *
I like Shanna's conversion. It may need to be described in a bit more detail, but it's totally plausible and you did it well.
The lights out will mean the generator will kick on, which will supply power to essential hospital equipment and utilities, but the lights will be dimmer (emergency boxes only above doorways) and the intercom will be out.
I dug the Jenny/Lanz dynamic. He's currently after her in Pediatrics. If you'd like to do his POV scenes, we can work it out.
Joe
* * *
We can tag-team it. Fun.
Paul
* * *
All - I'm back in civilization, and can't wait to read everyone's parts...Paul - feel free to do the chapel scene, I wasn't seeing a way to work it out in my scene...a question about the hospital power going out...are we going completely dark? No backup lights...having to use flashlights or glo-sticks only? Let me know.
Blake
* * *
Also, I'm writing a Lanz POV scene to take him up to pediatrics, and show he seems to be smarter than the rest of the draculas. Possibly because he ingested the infection rather than got bitten.
Paul, aren't there some diseases that can be more severe based on the method of infection? My mind is blanking. But I'm pretty sure there are some bugs that are worse if you ingest them, as oppose to inhale them, or something...
Joe
* * *
Up to speed finally on everyone's sections, and damn, boys! Really happy with how this is shaping up. Love Randall and Tina dynamic. Clay going through the hospital with his big guns is just plain badass, and Joe, we knew this already, but something is seriously wrong with you..."is that a flamingo?" OMG. Bravo, gents!
Blake
August 30, 2010
I wasn't happy with her immediate gonzetta transformation, so I toned it down.
Paul
August 31, 2010
JCPL had a fire somewhere yesterday afternoon that left much of this area of the Shore without power. (I was reading by flashlight last night.) But we're back now.
Paul
* * *
Doesn't sound too hard...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100827/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_snake_hospital_outage
Paul
* * *
I've made it so Lanz has more of his mental faculties than most of the draculas, due to ingesting the blood rather than being bitten. It's in the JOE folder, LANZ_2.0.
But it occurred to me that Benny also seems higher-functioning and calmer than the others. I was thinking that because Benny is severely depressed, he'd take SSRIs (Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft) which might negate some of the "wildness" that being a dracula causes.
When Randall tussles with Benny, a half empty bottle of sertraline can fall out of his clown suit, and I'm thinking he can tell Jenny the nurse, and she can arm herself with bottles of pills and start throwing them in draculas' mouths. They'll still be hostile, but not as frantic. Could be cool to have her walk past a bunch of docile draculas, standing there watching her without coming after her.
Or not. Just spitballing. But hospitals are filled with drugs, and Jenny is the obvious one to use drugs against them.
Joe
* * *
The Benny/Zoloft thing is clever. Use it. But...
SSRIs take weeks to work, while benzodiazepines (Valium, ativan, xanax) can kick in in 20-30 minutes -- quicker if injected. Could have some mellow draculas.