“They’re like little puppy dogs.”

I giggle. “I can’t even begin to imagine what they’re going to say when they finally get you alone.”

Cal laughs. “Your ears will be ringing, that’s for sure.”

“For years,” I remind him.

Things Liars Say  _3.jpg

“Okay, you little sneak. Who. Was. That?” My roommate Melody ambushes me as soon as the screen door closes and the guys pull away in Cal’s big red pickup truck. I give him a jaunty little wave from behind the screen before stepping into Melody’s eager web of inquisition.

“That was… Well, Mel. That was Cal Thompson.”

“That was Cal Thompson? Seriously! Where the hell have you been hiding him?” She pauses, the truth setting in. “Wait. I’m confused. If that was your boyfriend, why was he acting like he didn’t know who you were?”

“Because… he… Ugh. God, Mel, I’m an idiot. That’s why.” How do I explain this without sounding like a mental person?

“Grey. Just tell me the truth.” Melody puts her hand on my shoulder. “I won’t judge you, promise.”

So I do.

I tell her everything.

Things Liars Say  _4.jpg

Cal

As soon as the truck door slams shut, Aaron is half out of his seat, punching me in the arm. “Holy shit, Thompson, your stalker is fucking hot. Did you get her number?”

My hands white knuckle the steering wheel. “No.” But I wanted to. God, how I wanted to.

Aaron looks at me like I’ve lost my goddamn mind. “Why the hell not?”

“Uh, because she’s a fucking stalker,” Mason responds.

“So?”

They’re still bickering when I enter the off-ramp for the highway, and they’re bickering forty minutes later when we pull up to our off-campus housing.

“Her roommate was smokin’ hot too, and funny as shit. They’re in a sorority, man. Sexy as hell.”

Yeah, it is.

Aaron considers this information. “Way out of your league, bro.”

“Don’t kick a man when he’s down,” Mason chastises as we climb out of my truck.

Things Liars Say  _3.jpg

@Grey_VKeller @tightheadthompson remember what I said about live tweeting during our meetings? It’s happening. Right. Now.

@tightheadthompson @grey_vkeller So is this a pity tweet for the sake of your charade? #ouch #feelings

@Grey_VKeller @tightheadthompson Shhhhhh. No talking about the charade in public! #partnersincrime

@tightheadthompson @grey_vkeller people can read, you know #notsubtle #publicforum

@Grey_VKeller @tightheadthompson valid point

@tightheadthompson @grey_vkeller I’m usually always right, but I’ll let this one slide because you’re #cute

@Grey_VKeller @tightheadthompson are you flirting with me, Cal Thompson? #causethatwouldbeawesome

@JemmaGemini @tightheadthompson whoever you are, could you STOP Tweeting @grey_vkeller? We’re trying to be PRODUCTIVE #distraction #meeting #focus

@Grey_VKeller @tightheadthompson I’m getting scolded #momsaysicantplay

@tightheadthompson @grey_vkeller speaking of charades, maybe I should just get your personal info—just to spare you from further public embarrassment #gentleman

@Grey_VKeller @tightheadthompson have your people contact my people @JemmaGemini #giveMasonmyinfo

Things Liars Say  _3.jpg

To: grevkeller0143@state.edu

From: cal.thompson04@smu.il.edu

Subject: Circling back

Greyson. Hey. Just wanted to make sure you’re not beating yourself up over the whole lying, stalking thing. Because I’m over it and feel much safer knowing I could definitely take you out in a fight. I don’t know why your friend would only give Mason your email address and not your cell phone number. - Cal

To: cal.thompson04@smu.il.edu

From: grevkeller0143@state.edu

Subject: Can’t even say how sorry I am…

Calvin,

Your concern fills me with warm fuzzies. I’m taking it day-by-day, each day getting easier and easier to look myself in the mirror. That was sarcasm, by the way. I’m guessing the reason Jemma wouldn’t give your roommate my cell is because you look ten kinds of crazy. You’re big and scary, black eye and tattoos. Thank you for the email, though, and for not holding a grudge against my stupidity. I guess this means I owe you a favor.

Grey

To: grevkeller0143@state.edu

From: cal.thompson04@smu.il.edu

Subject: Don’t worry about it.

Greyson, no one has ever called me big and scary. Or ten kinds of crazy—at least not to my face. What does that even mean? And yeah, you owe me. Hell yeah you do. And don’t call me Calvin. - Cal

To: cal.thompson04@smu.il.edu

From: grevkeller0143@state.edu

Subject: I’m stressed out and not thinking clearly?

Calvin,

Sorry for the delay. Speaking of ten kinds of crazy, things are REALLY crazy here. Only a few more weeks until our Gala, and I’m really trying to hold it together. We have one hundred and five tickets sold! I can hardly believe it. Confession: although it’s a fundraiser, I kind of hope we don’t sell any more! That’s a ton of people! I want to go to the event and have SOME fun. Anyway, don’t let me get started on all that… Tell me, what does a guy like you do in his free time? Grey

To: grevkeller0143@state.edu

From: cal.thompson04@smu.il.edu

Subject: What is this free time you speak of?

Grey, a guy like me? First of all, every time I see your name in this email, I still cannot believe you’re a girl. LOL. My roommates haven’t shut up about it, and I think Mason has a crush on your roomie. He can’t stop talking about how smart and funny she is.

What do I do in my “free time”? My free time is probably spent a lot like yours: homework, studying, hanging with the guys. We like parties. And, as you know, we play Rugby. I’ve been Captain since last year, as a sophomore. What about you? What does Greyson “not a guy” Keller do in her free time? – Cal

To: cal.thompson04@smu.il.edu

From: grevkeller0143@state.edu


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