He didn’t say anything, and I never brought it up, but I’m sure on some level, he worried about that with me, as well. We didn’t talk about her too much before he told me other things. Like how he’d only been with five girls. He said “only”—I thought that was a lot. But I guess it was fine since he explained they were all his girlfriends at the time. He didn’t have an appetite for one-night stands and couldn’t fathom ever seeking that kind of encounter.

I’d wanted to ask how much it’d hurt me, since I was smart enough to know that losing my virginity wouldn’t be pain free, but I kept that question to myself. I really didn’t need the answer right then. Not to mention, another girl would’ve been able to give me a better idea than a guy when the time came for me to learn about it.

By the end of April, I felt as if I knew him so much better. Our relationship had grown leaps and bounds, dug deeper than ever before. Yet we still hadn’t said the dreaded L-word. I’m pretty sure what I’d felt for him had been love for a while, but I hadn’t admitted it to myself until the beginning of May. And that had come to fruition on accident.

Oftentimes, I would leave notes for Axel on his desk, always hiding them. He learned to check his papers and under his keyboard after my class. They were always innocent and funny, but one day, I slipped up without thinking. I blamed it on the heat—Axel was not kidding when he said I had to wear jeans all the time. My note was light, easy, and fun, just like every other I’d written before. I’d made a joke about his hair, and how it needed to be cut. But the one thing that made that one different from the others, was when I’d signed it. I usually wrote “xo” or would draw a smiley face. But on this one, without thinking, I’d signed it: Love, Wolf Eyes. I realized it immediately, and crumpled the paper, shoving it into my backpack instead of leaving it for him. That was the moment I could no longer deny my feelings.

Two weeks later, everything changed again.

It was prom weekend, and it had the entire school buzzing. Everyone was excited, including me. But my excitement was for something very different. Axel had asked me the weekend before if I would be able to sneak out and see him. Neither of us had any plans to attend the function, so I was left confused by his question. But he said to dress nice and meet him at his house. I had no idea what my mom’s plans entailed, but I didn’t care and accepted his invitation anyway.

Luckily, my mom had poured herself a large glass of wine early in the evening, and then retired to her room after dinner. I wasn’t sure why she’d called it such an early night since she didn’t have work that day, but it wasn’t my place to ask. I ignored her, cleaned the kitchen, and then rifled through my closet for something nice to wear.

My nerves didn’t hit me until I made it through the trees into Axel’s back yard. I found him stretching out a blanket with his back to me, but it gave me a moment to absorb everything. Candles were lit along the bricks that separated his grass from the flowerbeds, and I noticed a speaker not far from where he stood. A cooler sat out as well, although I couldn’t see what was in it. Axel wore dress clothes, like the kind he wore to school. Everything seemed so perfect and romantic, even the stars were out bright with not a cloud in the sky.

After laying the blanket out, he spun around, noticing me for the first time. He froze and allowed his eyes to linger over my appearance. I didn’t care if he scolded me for the dress since he’d been the one to tell me to dress nice. I couldn’t exactly dress up a pair of jeans. But he didn’t say anything other than, “Wow.” That wow sent my heart straight to the moon and back full of happiness.

“What’s all this for?” I asked as I slowly walked toward him.

With a shrug, he replied, “Prom. I figured we can’t go to the real one, but there’s nothing stopping us from having our own.”

“What’s the blanket for?”

“Stargazing.” He took my hand and helped me sit down, careful of my dress. Then he pulled out a bottle of sparkling grape juice and two cups from the cooler. “You look absolutely stunning, Bree. Even without lights, I can honestly say you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“In the world?” I asked, laughing off his compliment. “That’s saying a bit much, don’t ya think?” I took the cup from his hand and drank, hoping that giving my hands and mouth something to do would curb my growing desire to touch him.

“Not at all.” His eyes glistened as he watched me, and then he turned his attention to the sky. “Care to lay down with me? I thought it would be nice to gaze at the stars while we talk.”

“Talk? About what?”

“I have a lot to say to you, Bree. I didn’t want it to be over the phone, and I don’t know if I can say it while looking you in the eyes. So I thought if we were next to each other, while staring into the giant sky, it might make it easier.”

My heart began to race with fear as anxiety overcame me. I hadn’t worried about our relationship in over two months, yet panic slammed into me, as if it had never gone away. Before I could find the strength to speak, he stole my breath away, pressing his lips gently against mine.

“Don’t freak out. Because if you freak out, then I’m going to. And I really need to stay calm in order to say this.” His pleading words were whispered across my lips, but they did very little to calm me down. He leaned back on his elbows, waiting for me to join him.

With our backs against the blanket and our gazes straight ahead, I asked, “What is it you want to say? Because I swear to you, Axel, you’re seriously giving me a paranoid fear of your yard.”

He reached across the space between us and held my hand. His thumb rubbed in soothing circles over my knuckle. “You asked me a question last month that I couldn’t answer. But I told you I’d give it some thought. Well, I have, and I’m prepared to explain it now.”

I stared up at the sky, but I paid it no mind. I couldn’t tell you what the stars looked like, how bright the moon was, or if there were any airplanes flying overhead. None of that registered as his words sank in.

“The truth is, I do want to protect you. If I had my way, I’d steal you from your house and move you in with me. I don’t like thinking of how you were raised, and desperately wish I could change that for you. I wish I could take away every ounce of pain you’ve ever felt due to your parents. I’ve never denied that. However, that doesn’t change who you are as a person. Maybe those things have even made you stronger, despite your inability to see your strength. You’re an amazing person, Aubrey. You’re smart, funny, kind—you’re honestly the best person I’ve ever met.

“You asked me if we would be together if our circumstances were different. I’ve thought a lot about this, and even tried imagining every possible scenario. And I realized that if you were older and not my student, I’d still want to be with you. As long as you’re the person you are right now, nothing would keep me away from you.” He squeezed my hand and grew quiet.

I turned my head and found him staring at me. “I don’t understand. It’s taken you a month to think of that? Or is there more to your speech, and you just wanted me calm before letting me down?”

“It hasn’t taken me a month to realize that. I told you it deserved serious thought, and so that’s what I gave it. I don’t know what’s going to happen to us, Bree. I can’t see into the future. But either way, I wanted you to know that what I feel for you has nothing to do with this hero complex you say I have.”

“Are you denying that you have one?” I wanted to lighten the mood, so I winked at him and tightened my fingers around his.

The way he licked his lips before talking had mine burning with the remnants of his kiss from earlier. “No. I’m not saying that there’s no truth to that. But my need to protect you isn’t because of that. It hasn’t taken me this long to realize I’d still want to be with you regardless of our situation. It’s taken me this long to understand why I have this need to keep you safe.”