Her words were so heartfelt, so full of emotion, that even though I never knew the man, I felt my eyes grow wet. It was clear from what she said that Konrad had taken his own life. My emotional state was only worsened when the guitar player began to pick at the strings and Marina started to sing “Starry, Starry Night” in a surprisingly appealing voice.

I knew in that moment that I was going to paint this scene. It struck me so powerfully that I’d never forget it: Marina standing there, a vision in black, her hair so red and her eyes so sad. I was lost in the song when I realised someone was staring at me, and I turned my head to find Jack’s eyes blazing fiercely.

“You’re crying,” he murmured, and reached over to wipe away my tears with his fingertips.

“It’s sad,” I said, feeling strangely exposed and self-conscious. “How much she clearly misses him, I mean.”

“Have you ever missed someone that much?” he asked, voice intense.

“No,” I answered honestly, wanting to tack onto the end that if I’d spent as many years with him as Marina had with Konrad, then I’d probably die of the pain from missing him.

“You’re lucky, then,” he said.

I knew the meaning behind his words. I was lucky, but he was not, because he’d probably missed his brother like Marina missed Konrad. God, how I hoped Jay would read my letter and come find him. The laughter and talk that surrounded us was loud, but I still felt like I was in a bubble with Jack, his attention all-consuming.

“You shouldn’t be sitting here, looking like that,” he said, and I furrowed my brow.

“Why not?”

He leaned in close and my heart stuttered, his lips touching the shell of my ear as he whispered, “Because the wolves are circling, and I could be considered one of them.”

Twelve

With courage Jack threw his mask away forever

I shivered, but before I could react to his words, the music changed, the band belting out a fast-paced number. Lola grabbed my hand to pull me up from my seat. I was still reeling after what Jack had said to refuse dancing with her, and before I knew it, I was crowded amid a sea of other bodies in the middle of the floor.

Lola clapped and stomped her foot in time to the beat and I copied her, trying to get into it as my eyes sought out Jack. I couldn’t spot him over all the moving heads, and the loud music was distracting. A moment later, we were joined by a smiling Luan, who put his hands on Lola’s waist and matched the tempo of her movements with his own. Violet was to my right, and I couldn’t help laughing when Pedro tried to dance with her. She completely blanked him and instead focused her attention on a tall blond guy I recognised from around the campsite. My laughter cut off abruptly when I saw his attention land on me, and he began moving through the gyrating bodies.

Before he reached me, I felt warm, familiar arms go around my waist, and my heart fluttered. The moment Pedro spotted Jack, he scowled and turned away. My head swam with relief. I soaked in being close to him for a moment before he bent down and spoke into my ear.

“I won’t always be here to be your good wolf, Lille. What will you do about the bad ones then?”

I turned my body and stared up at him. His mouth was so close, and I missed it. I was looking at his lips while I replied, “If you’re my good wolf, then why do you think you’re bad for me?”

A wall went up behind his eyes. “Because I am.”

I leaned closer, moulding my body to his. I knew he felt how perfectly we connected by his sudden intake of breath, my breasts pushing into his chest. “That’s not a good enough answer,” I told him, then bravely went up on my tiptoes to brush my lips over his. It was a handy thing I was wearing heels now, because it meant I wasn’t at too much of a disadvantage in height.

“Don’t,” he said pleadingly, but I wasn’t feeling very charitable. I missed him, and something told me he missed me, too. It was ridiculous to keep fighting it, so I kissed him. I ran my tongue along the seam of his lips, then dipped inside, my body straining against his, because whenever I got to taste him, it always felt too good. I was breathless when I broke away for air.

“If you don’t want this, then I want a better reason, Jack.” I wasn’t sure what it was, perhaps the mix of vodka and red wine, or maybe the dark of the night and the feeling of recklessness this party of death brought on, but I was feeling braver than I’d ever felt before.

He gripped the back of my neck, then brought his mouth down on mine with a hard, fierce hunger that caused my bravery to waver. In that moment, I knew that when we’d been together before, he’d been holding back a great deal of himself. In fact, he still was, and I shuddered not unpleasantly to think of what it would be like to have him unleash his entire self on me.

I moaned as his fingers dug into my neck, his tongue worshipping my mouth and his erection thickening against my thigh.

“Jack,” I gasped, and though I could feel several stares on us, I didn’t have the ability to focus on anyone else but him.

He took my hand in his then and dragged me away from the dancing. The music became less loud the farther away we got, and soon we were past the campers and trucks and heading towards an empty field.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked, voice thick with arousal and curiosity.

“Somewhere I can give you a good enough answer. I won’t pull you in completely until you know everything. Then you can make your own decision,” he bit out, and my arousal vanished in a heartbeat. My curiosity remained, but it was now tinged with apprehension. I stumbled on my heels, and Jack stopped walking to bend down and relieve me of my shoes. He held them both in one hand while scooping me up with the other. I startled and gripped his neck, holding on tight as we walked through the long grass until he reached a cluster of bushy trees. I slid down his solid, hard body, and my feet touched the earth.

“Why are we here?” I asked as I glanced all about, voice hushed. There was hardly any light here, just a greyish-yellow cloud from the city in the distance.

He rubbed his jaw and paced, then looked back at me. “I needed to go somewhere away from listening ears to tell you this, but I’m starting to wonder if I should confide in you at all.”

“You said before that you trusted me. You trusted me enough to tell me about your brother,” I whispered. And you betrayed that trust, Lille. He just doesn’t know it yet, my conscience whispered back.

“Yeah, and look where that got me,” he replied, and I flinched. He didn’t know the half of it. Still, I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything about this enigma of a man.

I took three steps forward until I was in front of him, close enough to take his big hand in mine and place it over my heart. “You can still trust me, Jack. Whatever you tell me will stay between the two of us. I just need to know why you think we can’t be together. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never felt anything like this before. I’ve never had a man make me feel the way you make me feel.”

My voice felt louder, more pronounced in the quiet darkness, and I could just make out the shine of his eyes as he stared at me. He cupped my jaw in his hand and seemed to sigh.

“I feel it, Lille. Maybe even more than you do.”

I gripped his shirt in my hands, my mouth a hair’s breadth away from his. “So why not let it happen, then? Sometimes I lie awake at night, unable to sleep, because I can’t stop thinking of you, can’t stop fixating on how empty I feel and how I want you to fill me up.”

He groaned as the words left my lips, then swore, low and guttural. “Fuck.”

I started to plant kisses along his neck, my hands travelling down his flat torso. “I love how you feel, Jack.” Yeah, I was definitely running on alcohol-fuelled courage tonight.