“Where did you disappear off to last night, ya dirty little stop out?” Lola asked excitedly as she took in my appearance.

I went straight to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, knocked it back in two long gulps, then turned to face her, fidgeting. “Um, Jack and I sort of….”

“I fucking knew it!” she interrupted me. “What was it like?”

Her question encouraged a stupid dreamy look to come over my face, which must have spoken volumes, because she was laughing, and Lola had a real dirty laugh. I kind of loved hearing it.

“That good, huh?”

I sighed. “Pretty much.”

She huffed. “Some girls get all the luck.”

For a moment, I felt awkward as I remembered all that Lola had been through lately. Did it make her uncomfortable to talk about sex? If it did, she didn’t show it. I told her I was going to take a shower and left her to finish her breakfast. Half an hour later, I was clean and dressed in fresh clothes, a loose cream top and some washed denim jeans. The top was oversized and kind of fell off one shoulder, showing my black bra strap. I thought my choice in clothing was indicative of how I felt, all lazy and sexed up.

I left my hair down and pulled on my shoes before heading to the gazebo in search of a hot breakfast. I was starving, and the tea and toast back at the camper wouldn’t be enough to sate my appetite. When I got there, it seemed like half the circus was sporting a hangover as they chowed down on sausage and eggs. I loaded my plate up, and as I went in search of a seat, I felt someone tug on the end of my top.

I hadn’t spotted Jack sitting there, and had almost walked right past him. He gave me an affectionate, sexy look, taking my plate from me and setting it on the table before pulling me onto his lap. I must have felt the ferocity of her stare, because my gaze was drawn in the direction of Julie, who was sitting at a table a few feet away, glaring daggers at me.

Whoa.

“Hey,” Jack murmured in my ear, distracting me from the eye daggers with one hand on my thigh as he ran his nose down the side of my neck.

I glanced at him and teased, “So, is this how it’s going to be? By night you’re my bed, and by day you’re my chair?”

His voice lowered, and his eyes heated up, “If it means I get your arse cushioning my dick, then yeah.”

“You’ve got a frisky mouth,” I said, turning and reaching for my fork.

I let out a tiny yelp when I felt his teeth graze my bare shoulder. “All the better to bite you with.” His warm hand grasped my shoulder, and his thumb slid beneath the strap of my bra, causing me to shiver. I almost didn’t hear him when he growled low, “This is a good look for you.”

My tummy gurgled and I blushed, finally giving in and shovelling some food into my mouth. Whenever I was close to Jack, it was always so tempting to just lose myself in him. His thumb brushed discreetly over my nipple as he asked, “How are you feeling this morning? Any soreness?”

The memory of his mouth on me with the hot matchstick between his teeth hit me, and I shivered. My nipple was a little sore, along with a whole range of other parts, but it wasn’t unpleasant.

“A small bit,” I answered.

His eyes grew hooded as he playfully leaned in and said, “What I did to you last night was child’s play, Lille. The next time I can’t be quite so gentle.”

Wow. If he thought last night was gentle, then I shuddered to think what he was like rough – in a good way.

 A loud clatter sounded close by, and my attention was drawn to King as he stumbled into the gazebo. He knocked into Julie’s table where she sat with her two sisters, causing their cups and plates to tumble over. Julie rose from her seat, her voice shrill as she focused the glare she’d been giving me earlier on King.

“You fucking imbecile, look what you’ve done!”

King held his hands in the air. “Sorry, sorry, wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“That’s your problem,” Julie spat. “You never do. Seriously, what is the point of you? I really don’t understand why Marina even lets you stay here.”

I felt Jack lift me from his lap, about to go and intervene, when Marina suddenly appeared. She stood between Julie and her brother, a look of eerie calm on her face as she sized Julie up.

“This is my circus, girl. You’d do well to remember that. King apologised for his actions. Now, if I ever hear you speak to him like you just did again, I’ll kick you and your sisters off the lineup so quick you’ll have skid marks on your backside.”

Julie swallowed, her face growing red, restrained fury in her eyes as she silently sat back down. Her sisters anxiously worked to clean up the mess on the table. Marina turned to King and placed her hand on his shoulder, murmuring something to him that nobody else could hear. His entire form seemed to slump miserably as he nodded to her, then turned and left.

There was an air of tension amongst those present as Marina strode away, her five-foot-two height seeming taller and more foreboding all of a sudden. I glanced at Jack to find him seething, and it took me by surprise. He was staring at Julie, and it was clear to me that he was pissed off by how she treated King. I think she misinterpreted his attention as the positive kind, because she gave him a sultry smile. The woman needed to get a clue.

I put my hand on Jack’s thigh and rubbed it in an effort to calm his temper. Marina had already put Julie in her place; there was no need for him to still be riled up. I wondered at his anger, since he’d spoken harshly to King himself in the past. But what happened today had been an accident. King had apologised. And something told me that Jack felt an affection for the man; he could relate to him on some level, and that was why he also felt a protectiveness towards him.

I leaned close and gave Jack a peck on the cheek, which seemed to distract him. He gave me a tender look, and then we ate the rest of our meal in companionable silence. After breakfast I sat in the back of the Spiegeltent, doing sketches as Jack practiced some new additions to his act. I was supposed to be using it as an opportunity to do some work on my picture of him, but found myself simply sitting back and watching mostly. The way he moved was so careful and practiced, seamless, really, and it was hard to look away. The fiery torches weren’t quite so dark and dangerous-looking in the light of day, but Jack still managed to make them fascinating.

I wondered about his obsession with the element, how it had become something he needed to be around all the time in order to get through the day. It struck me as strange at first, but then when I thought on it more, I realised it was no stranger than people smoking cigarettes because they craved nicotine, or drinking coffee to sate their hunger for caffeine. It was an addiction, simple as that. Burning gave him relief. He associated it with the one time in his life he felt truly liberated from being a victim. I thought I should be more appalled by what he’d done to his foster mum and by what she had done to him, but I wasn’t.

It was all just a part of life’s darkness. And without darkness, there would be no light.

I didn’t see him as a damaged little boy; I saw him as a unique, wonderful, yet very breakable grown man.

***

Later that day I was walking about the campsite in search of Bea. I hadn’t seen her for a couple of days, and I was beginning to worry. Perhaps she’d caught the flu that was going around. I was just making my way past the back of the Spiegeltent in the direction of Aiden’s camper when I suddenly felt myself propelling forward, a sharp pain shattering through my skull. My hand went to my head as my breath left me all in a rush. I could feel a wetness, and as I moved my fingers in front of my face, I saw they were red with blood.

It took me several beats to find my bearings as I turned and found Julie standing in front of me, wielding a broken plank of wood. My eyes moved from the wood to her and then back again as my brain tried to compute the fact that she’d just whacked me with it.