“What the hell?!” I yelled at her, and she dropped the wood before launching herself at me. Adrenaline flooded my system as she grabbed my throat in her surprisingly strong grip and slammed my body back into the hard frame of the tent. Pain shattered down my spine, my head still thumping. She was shorter than I was by about three or four inches, but she had the muscle tone of a professional athlete, hence her strength.

Acrobats be crazy.

First King and now me. She really was on a roll today.

“You’re going to stay the fuck away from Jack, or the next time, I swear I’ll end you,” she hissed, crazy eyes piercing me. My entire body had broken into a cold sweat, and my throat was constricting from her grip. When I didn’t answer, she tightened it more, and I broke into a fit of choking. My heart was trying to beat its way out of my chest, and I was genuinely in fear for my life. With just the hold she had on my neck, she pulled my body forward, then slammed me back into the tent again.

“Say it!” she demanded.

My voice came out scratchy and broken. “I’ll s-s-stay away from him.”

She looked me up and down, disdain clear in her expression. “I had him long before you came along. Don’t you know you can’t just show up, all fucking innocent and clueless, and take what doesn’t belong to you? That’s not how it works,” she spat, and the spray hit me right in the face. “There are rules.”

“I didn’t know you were together, I swear,” I said, and her grip started to loosen. I was lying through my teeth, of course, but I’d never experienced an attack like this, and I was scared witless. She was obviously mentally disturbed, and I couldn’t believe I didn’t pick up on it sooner. It was startling to think that this woman could do such beautiful things with her body, perform in a way that provoked such emotion in her audience, yet be so thoroughly, certifiably insane.

Her hand left my throat completely, but only to slap me hard across the face, so hard it was going to leave a mark. My mind reeled, and my body began to shake as tears ran down my cheeks. Slaps across the face were Mum’s signature move, and suddenly I was stuck in countless memories.

I felt so small.

Wretched and unimportant.

Clutching my cheek in my hand, the sting echoing through my jaw, I looked back at Julie to find her still seething at me. “You’re a liar. If I see you with him again, I’ll break your face. And if you tell a single person about this, I’ll cut out your tongue.”

With that parting threat, she stomped off, leaving me feeling like I’d just entered an alternate universe where everyone was evil, and women you thought were just bitches were actually psychopaths.

But then I remembered what Winnie had told me back in Caen, when she’d let me pet her lions.

Julie is the little girl who pulled the legs from spiders, the one who poked at dogs until they turned vicious.

Suddenly, I wasn’t so shocked anymore, and her behaviour made perfect sense. Winnie had spent years observing Julie. She knew what she was like far better than I did. And then there was the indignity she suffered this morning when Marina told her off in front of the entire circus. Attacking me was clearly her way of offsetting the shame and frustration she felt.

I sank to the grass, sitting there for God knows how long before I finally picked myself up and stumbled back to the camper. Violet and Lola were out, and after I’d cleaned myself up in the bathroom, I went straight to bed, changing into my pyjamas and climbing under the covers. I was completely spaced out, my body still humming from the attack. My head ached, and beneath my hair where I’d cleaned away the blood, I could feel a soft, mushy bump rising. My throat was raw, and I knew I’d have bruises on my neck tomorrow from where she’d choked me.

I cried for so long that it drained all of my energy, and I eventually fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was dark out. Lola was entering the room and came to sit at the end of my bed.

“Hey, are you all right, hon?” she asked, her face etched in concern as she took me in. I obviously seemed out of it.

I wanted to tell her about Julie, but I was frightened. If I told her, Lola would go find Julie and confront her, and I couldn’t have that. I had no doubts that Julie would follow through on her threats, and I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of her crazy ever again.

“I’m okay. I just have a little bit of a headache,” I said, sitting up.

“Well, that’s a relief. For a second there, I thought you might be coming down with what I had. You missed tonight’s show. Oh, and Jack was looking for you.”

I swore under my breath as I realised I’d be short on money, since I hadn’t worked today. What happened with Julie had completely messed with my head, literally and figuratively. I hadn’t even thought about working.

A knock sounded on the front door, and Lola went to answer it. I sank back under the blanket when I heard Jack asking for me. Lola murmured a reply, and then a moment later she was peeking her head back in the room.

“It’s Jack. He wants to see you.”

I swallowed thickly with nerves. I wanted to see him so badly, but Julie’s threats were still ringing loud in my ears. I didn’t know what to do. “Could you tell him I’m not feeling well and that I’ll see him in the morning?”

She frowned but nodded. “Sure.”

I heard her repeating my excuse to Jack and his tone grew stern, but since the bedroom door was shut, I couldn’t quite hear what he was saying. Then loud footsteps sounded on the floor and a moment later his frame filled the doorway, a look of worry on his handsome face.

Lola came after him, complaining about him pushing by her, but he slammed the door, shutting her out, and hurried to my side. Before I knew it his hand was on my forehead, feeling for a temperature. I shifted uncomfortably in the bed and met his eyes.

“What’s wrong, Lille?” he asked, voice soft and concerned.

“I’m just a little bit under the weather,” I croaked. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

“If you’re sick, I want to see you. You don’t send Lola out with excuses, okay?” he said firmly, and all I could do was nod.

“Good. Now come here.” He pulled back the blankets and lifted me onto his lap. I knew I shouldn’t let him, but being close to him was my weakness. I was feeble in the face of his affection. My legs went around his waist, my arms around his neck as I hugged him and he took a deep breath, inhaling me. I was still shaky from earlier, and I think he noticed, because he pulled back and frowned down at me.

“You’re freaked out by what I told you last night, aren’t you?”

I shook my head. “No, of course not.”

“Then why are you so on edge?”

“It’s just been a long day, and I think sleeping outdoors drained my energy. My muscles ache.” The moment I said it, his practiced hands found my thighs and began to massage. He looked like he wanted to kiss me, but he didn’t; he only stared.

“That feel good?”

My answering sigh said it all, and his expression darkened.

“You’ve been on my mind all day.”

I whimpered when he began rubbing the inside of my thigh and his knuckles grazed between my legs. My body sagged into him, completely at his mercy, and he chuckled low. “Too much, flower?”

“Not enough,” I answered, biting my lip.

I let out a gasp of surprise when he full-on cupped my vagina and caressed me. Honest to God, I was done for. I briefly considering telling him about Julie being a nutjob, but I was far too lusty in that moment to speak. I moaned into his neck, and he gathered my hair in one hand, using it to tug my mouth up to his.

I winced slightly at the pull, because it sent a sting to the bump Julie had inflicted. It wasn’t enough to deter me, though. His tongue slid along mine, our mouths not yet meeting fully. His hand wandered inside my pants and beneath my knickers, seeking. When his thumb flicked across my clit, I shook as a wave of pleasure consumed me. I bit his full bottom lip, eliciting a low growl, and before I knew it, I was on my back, his fingers moving in a slow, tantalising rhythm.