I make it back down in eight-and-a-half minutes.

“Thanks for going,” Jake says quietly to me and hands me the keys to my Malibu. Apparently, I’m the DD tonight too. “I really want Danny to feel like part of the family.”

I smile. “Of course. I want her to as well. And I don’t know her, so it would be a great way to get to know her.”

Jake beams, his eyes glazing over. Shit, he’s in deep. I broaden my smile, hating that a tiny bit of jealousy rolls around inside me. I want to be in love too. I want to plan a shower and a wedding and have everyone tell me how beautiful I will look in my dress.

Someday.

Maybe.

No.

It will happen.

Ugh.

I grab my purse and lead the way through the garage, unlocking the car. Danielle holds a pink Coach umbrella in one hand, the other on her head to keep her hair from blowing wild. The rain has picked up, and so has the wind.

“Hopefully your wedding day won’t be like this,” I say and get into the car. Danielle closes her umbrella, tucking it down by her feet, and gives me a horrified look. How dare I even mention rain and her wedding day?

“It’s usually nice here in July.” I smile. “So don’t worry.” I mentally curse at myself. Way to start a convo. “So,” I begin. “Do you have pretty much everything done?”

Danielle relaxes against the seat. “Pretty much. I have one final fitting for the dress, but that’s not until a month before the wedding. I’m trying to lose a few more pounds of course.”

I raise my eyebrows and cast a glance at her. She is thin enough already. Why brides always think they had to be model thin … I’ll never know. “I think you look great,” I tell her honestly.

“Thanks,” she says and lets out a breath. “I don’t look like the girl wearing my dress in the magazine ad.”

If possible, my eyebrow hikes even higher. I turn onto the main road and head into town. “You do know those ads are Photoshopped as fuck, right?”

She twists, giving me that same startled look. “Yeah, I’m sure they are a bit.”

I laugh. “Not just a bit. They are a lot. I worked a graphic design job for two whole weeks and was given photos to manipulate the hell out of. I felt evil to all womankind for doing that, hence the quitting. And it didn’t pay well. At all.”

Danielle just nods. “Well, whatever. I still want to look good.”

This isn’t going so well. “I’m sure you will. You’re really pretty. And Jake has always been super picky. So knowing he chose you means he thinks you’re really pretty too.”

“Thanks.” She smiles. “So, you program software, right?”

“I used to. I took a new job in Grand Rapids like half a year ago. I build websites.”

She nods. “I’m so bad with computers. I can use Word and log onto Facebook and that’s pretty much it. I couldn’t even think about making a website.”

“It’s really easy,” I say. “Well, for me. But I like that stuff.”

“It sounds complicated to me. Sometimes I have to have my students help me hook up my printer.”

I laugh. “It surprises me how difficult it is for some people. But I guess that’s normal, ya know? It’s my thing. I like taking shit apart and adding new gadgets to my electronics at home.”

“Makes sense. Why’d you change jobs?”

 I shrug. “The new job pays twice as much and it was a chance to get out of this town for a while.”

“Hmmm,” she says and messes with her hair, which managed to stay stick straight and smooth despite the weather. “I have too many friends to leave here.”

I know a backhanded insult when I hear one. “I stay in touch with mine.”

“The bakery is owned by your best friend, right?”

“Yep, Erin. She’s great.”

Danielle smiles again. “I was impressed with everything she showed me.”

“Yeah, Erin is super talented. She’s been into baking since we were kids. That’s how we met, actually. We were paired together in seventh grade Home Economics class.”

“You guys have been friends for a long time.”

“Yeah. She likes the same stuff I do.” I drum my fingers on the steering wheel. A few more minutes tick by.

“So, uh, what do you like to do for fun?” I ask, trying to keep a conversation going.

“I work out and have the girls over for wine night at least once a week.”

“Wine night sounds fun.” I like wine, and I like the night. “You guys just sit around and drink?”

“Kind of,” she says and laughs like it’s something super naughty. “We take turns bringing a bottle and some sort of dessert. We watch a show, like Keeping up with the Kardashians or The Bachelor, and drink and gossip. It’s a lot of fun. If you lived closer, I’d invite you,” she says with a smile and I know—and hope—she’s lying through her teeth.

A few minutes pass, and I try not to let the silence turn awkward and bother me. I tap my fingers on the steering wheel in tempo with the music. Danielle makes small talk the rest of the way, and the fifteen-minute drive to the restaurant seems to take twice as long. If this girl wasn’t marrying my brother, I’d never talk to her. We have nothing in common.

We get to the restaurant at 6:23 and hurry through the rain. Five well-dressed women are already seated. I guess they had more than ten minutes notice of this event. Supposedly I did too, and really, I probably did. I’m spacey like that.

“Sorry we’re late,” Danielle says and I can see her side-eye me, letting her friends know it’s my fault.

I slide into a chair, glad there is already a glass of red wine in each spot. I don’t consider getting somewhere seven minutes before a reservation “late.”

“Hi,” I say. “I’m Jake’s sister.”

The women murmur “hello” and go through introductions. I sip the wine and nod along, trying to remember everyone’s names. I’m not really a shy person, but sitting here with a group of girls who’ve been friends for years makes me retreat inside myself a bit. My cheese ravioli is good, and I get out my phone and Google costume ideas when the conversation turns to sharing sex stories. I have no recent sex stories to share, unless my adventures with the neon-pink Silent Knight count.

“What about you?” a pretty blonde asks. Her name is Chloe. Or Zoey. Hell if I know. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Not at the moment,” I respond.

“Oh, well, never mind then.” She doesn’t look surprised by my response.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” I ask.

“I just got rid of mine,” she huffs. “Total pain in the ass and so clingy. I want to date casually for a while, ya know, just for fun. You’re only young once!”

I smile and go back to looking up costumes on my phone. This is going to be a long night.

*

Since my parents have the worst internet connection in the whole wide world, I ended up going to bed early and waking at eight, which is early to me when I don’t have to be at work. I eat breakfast with Dad then go for a walk on the sandy path from their house to the lake. The rain has gone and so have the clouds. The morning still holds a chill, but as I look at the dawn light reflecting off the choppy water, I know it’s going to be a good day.

The sound of the small waves crashing against the rocky shore soothes me, and takes me back at the same time. I spent more hours than I can count out here as a child, sitting on the dock, playing in the woods and water, pretending, imagining, fantasizing that my life was grand and adventurous and I was someone else, someone important destined with a world-saving task.

Losing myself in fiction and fantasy was my escape then, and it is now. There were many, many times when Mom and Dad sent Jake down to the water’s edge to check on me, making sure I hadn’t fallen asleep and rolled off the dock into the water. That happens once and no one forgets about it. I’d be down here with a book, and often times Erin was with me doing the same. Jake teased us a great bunch, though he ended up joining in on our reenactments a few times.