I tap her cheek a few times, but she doesn’t stir. Feeling for her pulse, I press two fingers to her neck. It’s still there, thank God. I rush to the bar, spotting E sandwiched between two Hounds. I pull him up by his cut and drag him to the room.

“What the fuck, Gage?” he exclaims when we’re in the corridor.

“It’s Raven.”

That gets him moving. In the room, I show him the prescription bottle. He immediately starts throwing out directions as he picks her up, heading to the bathroom.

“Go get my bag. I need salt from the kitchen and grab one of the girls to help me.”

I grab the salt and the first girl I see – Super Head. I didn’t want to rush into the bar with E’s bag, so I get that last. Once he has everything he needs, he bans me from the bathroom. I pace the room, praying to God she’ll be okay. This is my fault. She needed me, and I chased her away. Everything is my fault. I should have just stayed away from her.

Chopper walks into the room with a concerned frown. I should have known he’d realize something’s wrong. The retching sounds start coming from the bathroom.

“What’s going on, Gage?”

I turn to him feeling utterly defeated. “I fucked up, Pop.”

He grabs me, slamming me into the wall. I don’t resist because I deserve much worse.

“What the fuck did you do?”

“I…”

I don’t get anything else out because Chopper slams his fist into my jaw. My head snaps back and bounces off the wall. I grab the back of it and slide down to sit on the floor.

“She better be okay, motherfucker,” he issues a warning.

I watch him sit on the edge of the bed, staring at me, his only son, like he’s about to rip my head off. If Raven dies because of me, I won’t try to stop him.

***Raven***

God, I feel like…like I just slept for ten years. My lids are so heavy, I can’t get them open. My throat is raw, and there’s a nagging pain in my arm. I also have the headache from Hell. It feels like Thor and Mjölnir are playing whack-a-mole on my brain.

“I think she’s waking up,” someone says. A female someone. Where am I?

“Raven?”

Gage. I turn my head in the direction of his voice and force my eyes open. They stay that way for only a second. After multiple tries, I finally get them to remain open. Gage is leaning over me with a relieved smile. Deena is on the other side of the bed, smiling down at me, too. What…in…the…world?

Then, I remember—bits and pieces really. Gage chasing me out of his office, swiping the bottle of whiskey from the bar…the pills.

Oh, God. I tried to kill myself. I tried to kill myself and I didn’t succeed. Great. One more fuck-up to add to my ever-growing list.

Gage takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “Hey, babe.”

“Hey.”

“How do you feel?”

“Sleepy.” Yeah, that’ll happen when you take a whole bottle of sleeping pills. “Can I get some water?”

“I’ll get it,” Deena volunteers.

When she leaves the room, Gage kisses my knuckles again. That’s when I see the IV needle in my arm and realize that’s where the pain’s coming from.

“Why do you keep scaring me?” he asks.

“I scare you?”

“I’ve never been afraid of anything in my entire life…until I met you.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“Losing you.”

He rests his forehead on mine and flattens his palm on my sternum. I close my eyes, absorbing his words. He’s scared of losing me. But why? Why would he still want me after everything that’s happened? I tried to kill him twice, for God’s sake. I can’t even think about it right now. My brain already hurts.

“Sweetest sound I’ve heard in a long time,” he mutters.

“What?”

“Your heart beating. I’ve been listening to it for the last twenty-four hours.”

Deena comes in with my water, hands it to me, then backs out of the room. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks.”

I down the contents, hand the empty glass to Gage, and settle back into the pillows. Gage strokes my cheek as my eyes begin to close again.

“Sleep, babe. We’ll talk when you wake up.”

***Gage***

I’ve been checking her heartbeat every couple of minutes. I know she’s just sleeping, but I need the reassurance of her pulse beating beneath my fingers. E says she’s going to be fine. He brought in one of his doctor friends and we managed to get her out discreetly so they could run all kinds of tests on her. I had to pay him a hefty sum to do it and keep quiet, but it was worth it. Apparently, I found her before the pills could have caused any serious damage to her organs.

I drag a hand down my face and close my burning eyes for a few seconds. I haven’t slept, and I’m beginning to feel the effects.

“You should go take a nap,” Gina suggests. “I’ll watch her.”

“I’ll just rest my eyes for a bit. Thanks.”

I settle into the chair, lean my head on the back, and close my eyes. When I open them again, Raven is sitting up in bed, drinking soup and talking to Gina.

“I love your perfume. What is it?” Raven asks.

“It’s not perfume. I’m allergic. I mix essential oils and different lotions together to get the scent I want.”

I shake away the sleep and sit on the edge of the bed, halting their conversation. “Why didn’t you wake me?” I ask Gina.

“I told her not to,” Raven answers. “You looked tired.”

Gina takes the bowl from Raven and leaves. I climb in next to her and wrap my arm around her shoulder as she leans in to me with a sigh.

“How do you feel?”

“I’m okay…worried about you. Deena said you hadn’t slept…and your face is bruised.”

“Who’s Deena?”

“We’ve been through this before. The woman who just left here…Super Head?”

“Fuck me.” I chuckle. “I’ve been calling her ‘Gina’ all this time. She didn’t even say anything.”

“Now, who would dare correct the mighty Reaper?”

I inhale deeply, squeezing her shoulder. “Not so mighty. I haven’t been able to save you.”

She sits up, searching my eyes as she lays a hand on my jaw. “None of this is your fault. You’ve done everything you can do. The rest is on me.”

“Tell me what to do. Tell me how to help you. I can’t help if you don’t talk to me. I need to know, Raven. I need my baby girl back.”

“You’ll get her back, I promise. I’m not going to let this thing rule my life anymore. I’m taking back control. I think that’s what Dr. Jayne said. I should have listened to her a long time ago.”

“You still need to let me in.”

“I will,” she promises. “But…maybe you should let go of the search. Even just for a while.”

“You can’t ask me to sit around and do nothing, Raven.”

“I’m not. Just…suspend it for a while. Let’s focus on us. This thing has been controlling both our lives. We just need to step back, regroup.”

I’ve been thinking about doing just that since E suggested it, but I didn’t want her to think I’d given up. I don’t want to sit around and let that fucker think he’s gotten away with putting his hands on my woman.

“Please, Gage. I need you.”

I search her face and her expression breaks me. Her eyes are tearing up, her bottom lip trembling. I can’t say no to her. “Okay, doll. I’ll give it a rest.”

There’s a knock at the door and Pop comes in without waiting for an answer. Other than E and Deena, he’s the only one who knows what happened. I’ve kept her mother and friends at bay, but I don’t think I could have done it for much longer. I spend the next couple of hours listening to Chopper fawn over her. I’ve never seen him like this, not even with Mom when she was alive. It was instant, too. He’s been smitten with her since the beginning.

“Are you trying to steal my woman?” I joke.

“If I were a little younger, I’m sure I could. Youth is the only thing you got on me, son.”

“Is that so?”

“Why don’t we ask the lady?” He turns to Raven. “What do you say, lil darlin’?”