“Uh . . . I don’t know . . .” I began, but Brooks cut me off.

“Just sit back and enjoy the ride, Aubrey.”

I involuntarily shuddered at his words. Sitting back and enjoying the ride is what had gotten me into trouble in the first place. But he was right. What could it hurt?

“Sure. Why not?” I said, shrugging.

“Wow. Your enthusiasm is contagious,” he joked, rolling his eyes.

I playfully punched his shoulder. Maybe he was right and I just needed a good night out to forget about everything.

“When should I be ready for our night of wild and crazy shenanigans?” I asked, walking through the door Brooks held open for me. Our shoulders brushed and I felt a strange mixture of hesitance and pleasure.

Not because it was Brooks touching me. It had nothing to do with that. It was more about the fact that anyone was touching me. My body missed even the casual touches of intimacy.

I realized that I hadn’t done myself any favors by living an isolated life.

Brooks walked close beside me, his arm rubbing against mine as we moved. And I allowed it.

“I’ll be by around eight thirty. Get ready to have some fun, Aubrey. I’ll pull a good time out of you if it’s the last thing I do,” Brooks threatened good-naturedly, and I couldn’t help but smile. It felt good. I felt good.

What a concept.

“Wow, going out on a school night? What’s come over you?” Renee joked as I pulled a conservative sweater dress out of the back of my closet. It was cute, with a slightly scooped neck and fitted sleeves. It fell midthigh and was a flattering purple.

Before thinking too much about it, I grabbed my knee-high boots and lacy tights to wear beneath my dress. I didn’t get dressed up often, but I was in the mood to look pretty.

“Yeah, Brooks convinced me to go out,” I said, stripping down to my underwear and bra and then sliding the dress over my head. Renee didn’t bat an eye. We had been living together long enough that modesty had lost its place in our relationship a while ago.

Renee gave me a smile. “That’s good, Aubrey. I haven’t always been Brooks’s biggest fan. His collection of button-down shirts kind of gives me hives. But he’s been a good friend to you. And who knows, maybe you’ll find someone to get a little wild with.”

I nearly choked.

“What?” I shrieked.

Renee held her hands up and laughed at my expression. “Jeez, calm down, Aubrey. I’m just saying that you’ve been tied up in knots for a long time now. Something simple might be good for you.”

“And you honestly think hooking up with a random someone is simple? Are you serious?” I asked incredulously.

My face flamed hot and I felt an uncomfortable flip in my stomach at Renee’s suggestion. It wasn’t that I was against the idea of ever being with someone else. But I had the inexplicable feeling that I was betraying Maxx by even contemplating it. Which was ridiculous.

“I’ll save releasing my inner hoochie for another night, I think,” I joked, pushing aside my unease.

Renee playfully swatted my arm and grinned.

“It doesn’t have to be a full-on sexcapade. You could just . . . you know, kiss someone a little. Find a hot stranger to whet your appetite,” Renee teased, trying to break the heaviness in both of our hearts.

Her words had me recoiling at the thought of the last hot stranger I had been drawn to. I swallowed around the lump in my throat.

I forced a dry laugh from my mouth. “I appreciate your efforts in facilitating random hookups for the night. But I think just a beer and some nachos will be all that I need,” I said.

“And probably a lot less drama,” Renee quipped.

On a whim, I grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Come out with us,” I said.

“I’d rather not be on hand to witness the Brooks Hamlin drool fest, thank you very much.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not like that anymore, Renee. Brooks and I are friends. He isn’t looking to get into my pants,” I swore, though I felt a twinge of doubt at the truth of my words.

“Yeah, well, it would still be kind of third-wheelish. You and Brooks have all those dork jokes you think are funny and no one else does. And when you start reciting Adam Sandler movies, it makes me want to slit my wrists. Just sayin’, ” Renee teased, and I tossed my hairbrush at her.

“Would you rather have us quote Magic Mike? I know how obsessed you are with that particular cinematic masterpiece,” I laughed.

“Do not mock Channing Tatum,” she warned, shaking my hairbrush in my face.

I snatched it out of her hand and pulled my hair up into a ponytail.

“Go get dressed. You’re coming with us. I won’t take no for an answer,” I told her, shooing her out of my room.

Renee groaned. “One Happy Gilmore quote and I’m taking a cab home,” she yelled from the hallway.

I grinned as I finished getting ready.

I was going out . . . with my friends.

I felt pretty damn good.

Of course, I should have known that it wasn’t meant to last.

chapter

eight

aubrey

we ended up going to a bar downtown that was a regular hangout for the LU crowd. I hadn’t made a habit of frequenting the place, because I wasn’t much on socializing in general.

I had never been the type of student to play beer pong at frat parties or do keg stands until I passed out. When we were freshmen, Renee had dragged me to several parties, but I had typically spent my night hanging awkwardly by the door like the stereotypical wallflower.

I was on my third Sam Adams and was experiencing the fuzzy light-headedness that meant I was slightly inebriated. A little sloppy and very giggly drunk.

“God, they suck!” I yelled into Brooks’s ear as we watched a crappy band play their instruments really badly on the small stage at the back of the room. They were butchering Led Zeppelin’s “Tangerine” into something almost unintelligible.

Renee’s new “friend,” Iain, had shown up and they had gone off to play a game of pool. She hadn’t answered me when I had asked her whether she had called him. She played it coy, refusing to acknowledge that she was enjoying his company as much as it seemed that she was.

I knew that to acknowledge that she was opening herself to someone who wasn’t Devon seemed impossible right now. But I was happy to see that she was trying.

So maybe I should follow her example.

The suggestion to find a stranger seemed entirely too daunting. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy the company of the person I had come with. And right now, with more than a little bit of alcohol in my system, I found myself pulled in by the comfortable familiarity of the man who sat on the stool beside me.

Brooks bobbed his head up and down in time to the music. He had also had several mixed drinks, though he didn’t seem to be remotely drunk. It was clear that he was a lot more used to it than I was. Brooks looked over at me, his eyes twinkling. “They’re not so bad. At least they know who Led Zeppelin is,” he joked, referencing my lack of rock history knowledge when we had first started dating.

He had been horrified when he had played Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy album and I had asked who they were. As I was growing up, my parents had subjected me to all manner of country music. As a teenager I was more likely to listen to Top 40 than to the Rolling Stones. After that he had made it his mission to educate me on the finer points of rock and roll, forcing me to know every song by Jimi Hendrix and the names of every member of the Who.

And I could now consider myself properly schooled. I smacked his leg and then let my hand rest there, not moving it away. “Shut up. I know who they are now,” I slurred a bit. My hand felt clammy against the fabric of Brooks’s jeans. I thought I felt his muscles clench beneath my palm and I dug my fingers in slightly.