“You seem happy,” I observed, kissing the top of her head.

Aubrey pulled back and looked up at me. “I am, Maxx. I really am. I feel like finally, after all this time, things are falling into place. Don’t you feel it?”

No, I didn’t. But damn, I wanted to.

I woke up every morning with my stomach a knot of anxiety as my mind drifted to drugs. To bills. To a thousand ways I could fail.

But looking in Aubrey’s blue eyes, shining and bright, I could believe that she was right. That maybe we were finally getting to where we needed to be.

I stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet. “Whoa, what are you doing?” she asked with a lopsided grin.

I kissed her mouth, hard, and then practically dragged her down the hallway to my bedroom.

Once inside, I didn’t bother to turn on the lights. I was too frantic for her. I made quick work of our clothes and soon had her naked on the bed underneath me. I looked down at her in the shadowed darkness and felt, for a moment, exactly what she had been talking about.

I felt myself coming together. I quickly put on a condom and buried myself deep inside her. There were times when I made love to Aubrey that I couldn’t get deep enough. No matter how much I touched her, it was never enough.

Aubrey arched her back, and I lifted her hips as I glided in and out of her body. I leaned over and kissed a trail from her belly button to her breasts. I loved her body. I loved the way she made me feel like I was the only person in the world. To Aubrey Duncan, I mattered.

“Oh, God, Maxx!” Aubrey moaned loudly. Her flushed skin was hot to the touch and drove me mad. I slammed into her over and over again until I felt the moment that I could finally let go.

And I did.

Afterward, as the sweat dried and I lazily kissed her fingers, I thought that just maybe, everything would be okay. I felt optimistic about finding a job and making money. That I’d be able to provide for the woman I loved. That we’d make a life together.

I ran my hand down her back, listening to her soft breaths, and felt such an intense love I thought I’d strangle on it.

“I love you, Maxx,” she murmured against my skin, placing soft kisses on my chest.

“We’ll be together forever, right?” I asked a little desperately, holding her tight against me. I needed her reassurance. Needed it more than air.

Aubrey propped her chin on my chest and looked up at me through thick lashes framing hooded eyes. Her smile was tired but content. “Forever, Maxx. We’ll be together forever,” she promised before lying back down.

I stared up at my ceiling for a while after that, lost in half-crazy thoughts.

My heart clenched painfully and the optimism I had been feeling dwindled away.

“When did you come and clean my apartment?” I asked her suddenly.

Aubrey rolled off me and onto her back, her hair fanning across the pillow. She rolled her head to the side and looked at me with a bemused expression. “When did I clean your apartment?”

I reached out to trace a line between her breasts, flattening my palm over her stomach. I thought about putting a life inside of her. Of branding her in a way that was life altering and permanent.

I had never thought about being a father before. But with Aubrey I thought about it a lot. Of getting married and buying a house. Filling it with children.

What sort of father would I be?

How would I ever be able to provide for a family when I couldn’t get more than a minimum-wage job?

“When I was in rehab you came by. You cleaned my apartment, didn’t you?” I wasn’t sure why I was pushing to know. Maybe I just needed a reminder that if Aubrey was willing to take the risk to be with me, then she loved me in spite of everything I had put her through. And I needed to take some risks of my own.

Aubrey stretched her hand out and ran her fingers up my side, making me squirm. “Yes, I came by. I was a wreck, Maxx. I had lost you. I had been suspended from the counseling program. It was a dark, dark time for me. But somehow I ended up here. And you know what?”

I grabbed ahold of her hand and pulled her close. “What?”

“I felt better just being here. I felt at peace. How crazy is it that after everything we put each other through, I would feel safest in your home?”

I ran my thumb along the curve of her jaw, her words hurting me, though I knew she hadn’t meant for them to.

“It’s crazy, all right.”

“Maxx.” I opened my apartment door two days later to find my landlord standing on the stoop.

“Mr. Reese. Hi,” I said, opening the door wider to let him come in.

“I don’t need to come inside. I’m here to give you this,” he said, handing me an envelope.

I didn’t need to open it to know what it was.

It was my formal eviction notice.

“You’ve got thirty days to come up with the outstanding rent, or you’ll have to vacate the premises. I’ve tried to be reasonable here, son, but I’m not in the landlord business out of the kindness of my heart. I’ve got kids. I’ve got a wife. I’ve got shit to pay for. So you’ll need to cough up the cash or find somewhere else to live,” Mr. Reese said gruffly.

I opened the envelope and looked down at the overdue amount that I owed him: fifteen hundred dollars. Shit. Shit. Shit. There was no way I was going to come up with that kind of money.

I had used the rest of my paycheck from the coffee shop to pay my electric bill and to take Landon out to dinner. I had stupidly bought him the controller I had promised, refusing to think about the thousand other things I had to pay for.

Because it had made my brother happy, and that was something I wasn’t willing to pass up.

“I get it, thanks for bringing this by,” I said with sarcasm.

Mr. Reese smoothed his greasy comb-over and grimaced. “Look, you seem like a nice kid, Maxx. I hate to do it to ya, but like I said, we all have bills to pay.”

He wasn’t telling me anything that I didn’t already know.

After Mr. Reese left I sat on my sofa feeling numb.

What was I going to do?

I was failing.

Miserably.

And worse, I was disappearing in the process.

I had been forcing myself into becoming a changed man to the point that I was beginning to lose all sense of myself.

What the fuck was I doing?

I was in a pretty bleak place. Imminent homelessness will do that to you.

“Yo, Maxx! Open up!” Marco’s voice yelled from the other side of the door sometime later.

I thought about ignoring him. But knowing Marco, he’d just stand out there making a racket until I let him in.

Stupid bastard.

“What the hell do you want?” I barked, wrenching open the door.

Marco held his hands up. “Dude, chill out!” He shoved a wad of cash into my hands.

I looked down at it in surprise.

“Now smile, because money puts everyone in a good mood,” Marco said, pushing past me like he always did.

I stood there in the open doorway and counted the money: five hundred dollars.

“What’s this for?” I asked.

Marco rolled his eyes. “Have all those drugs addled your brain? It’s for the scouting last week. I told you I’d be bringing it by. You ready to go do it again?”

I stared down at the money in my hand. Five hundred dollars was a lot of money, but it wasn’t nearly enough. I thought about my dead-end job at the Coffee Jerk and knew that I’d never be able to survive on what I was making.

I thought about Aubrey and all her talks of our future. I thought of Landon going off to art school next year.

I needed more.

A hell of a lot more.

“Yeah, let’s go. Then can you take me to Gash’s office? I need to talk to him,” I said, grabbing my empty wallet and shoving it into my pocket.

Marco let out a little whoop. “Hell, yeah! You comin’ back to the club?”