“Aubrey, I’m a screwup. I’m a messed-up guy with a hell of a lot of baggage. It’s going to take me time to figure out how to do this right. But I’m trying. I hope you can see that. And the only way I can become the man I want to be is if you’re here, helping me.”

Aubrey shook her head.

“I’m not using. Though every day is a struggle. I can’t promise you that I won’t mess up again. Because I probably will. A lot.” I ran my fingers down the side of her face, stopping to cup my hand around the side of her neck.

She tensed slightly, her eyes focused on the second button of my shirt. “That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement for me to stay,” she said quietly.

“I wish I could make those promises. But I can’t. I can only ask that you stick this out with me. Maybe it’s selfish to ask that of you. But I truly think that we’re better together than apart. I know that you bring out the best in me.”

I ran my thumb across the heartbeat thudding under her skin. “It made me better, loving you,” I said softly.

Aubrey’s lips quirked, and I knew she wanted to smile but wasn’t about to let herself. “You and those damn quotes,” she said, but without any venom.

“How about my own words then? Aubrey Duncan, I love you. I told you that I didn’t want you to save me, but you have. Every single day you love me back you are saving me. And I will try like hell to make sure you never regret opening your heart to me. Because I was made to be yours. Just as you were made to be mine. I knew that the moment I laid eyes on you. And I feel it more strongly now than I ever have.”

A tear fell down Aubrey’s cheek, and she wiped it away furiously. “I need to be able to trust you, Maxx. I can’t do this if I don’t.”

I lifted her chin so that she would look at me. “I will work every day for the rest of my life earning your trust. And I hope the day will come that your faith in me will be as easy as breathing. Because that life I dream of, the one I see in my head every night before I fall asleep, I will fight to the death to have it. I told you I wouldn’t give up on you . . . on us. I just ask that you don’t give up on me.”

I had laid it all out there. I didn’t know what else to do. It was all up to Aubrey now.

“I just . . . Maxx . . . I don’t know.” She got up, grabbed her keys, and headed toward the door. She paused for a moment, not looking at me, her head bowed.

Don’t leave! I pleaded silently, feeling the walls closing in around me. Aubrey finally looked at me, her eyes wet. She was going to leave. This was it. I had ruined everything. For good this time. Then, surprisingly, she walked back across the room. She dropped down to her knees in front of where I still sat on the couch. She reached out, her hands almost touching mine . . . but not quite.

“I’m not walking away, Maxx. I’m not shutting the door on us. I just need to wrap my mind around everything that’s happened tonight. You hurt me. Again,” she whispered, her voice broken.

I wanted to grab her and pull her close, never letting go. She said she wasn’t walking away. But the look in her eyes had me doubting her words. I shook my head. “Don’t leave me.”

Finally, she bridged the physical distance. Her fingertips pressed into my cheek, branding me hers forever. There was a promise in her touch.

“You have to trust me, Maxx. Just like I have to trust you,” she said, speaking to the unspoken fears in my mind.

Trust. We were always coming back to that basic, fundamental concept. Aubrey slowly got back to her feet, lingering for only a moment. And then she was gone, the door closing softly behind her.

I just sat there, the silence of her departure ringing in my ears. Aubrey was right. I had to trust her. I had to trust that she wouldn’t obliterate me completely. I had to trust in both of us. It was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do.

epilogue

aubrey

two years later

i felt itchy beneath the hot polyester gown. Sweat trickled down from my hairline, and I readjusted the cap that sat precariously on my head. I looked out into the crowd, searching for the people I knew would be there.

My parents waved at me enthusiastically, and I waved back.

They were staying the weekend of my graduation and were planning to take me out to dinner after the ceremony to celebrate. It was hard to believe that there was a time when I had resented them so much that I couldn’t bring myself to see or talk to them. Sure, things weren’t perfect, but I was just happy to have them back in my life.

I tilted my head back and looked up at the sky. I love you, sis, I said silently to the girl who wasn’t in the audience.

The wind picked up and whipped around me, giving me a brief respite from the overbearing heat, and I could imagine for a moment that it was a gift from Jayme. A message letting me know that she still loved me, too. It didn’t hurt as much to think of Jayme anymore. The dull ache in my heart would never really go away, but every day I was healing.

I was feeling antsy and more than ready for the ceremony to get started. It felt like a long time coming, but I was finally here, graduating with a bachelor’s in education. It had only taken me an extra two years to get there.

Two weeks ago I had accepted a position at the elementary school the next town over. I’d be starting in the fall with a group of twenty-two first graders. I was sort of terrified. But it was a good sort of terrified.

“Hey, Aubrey!” a familiar voice called out from the front of the crowd. I looked up to see Brooks, who stood with Renee, waving at me. I waved back, glad they were both there. I hadn’t seen either of them in months. Renee had graduated on time two years ago. She had moved back home with her parents for a while until she had found a job. She eventually accepted a position as a paralegal for a big law firm. She had moved into her own place and claimed she was happy.

But sometimes I wondered.

Things with Iain had never really worked out, and she hadn’t dated anyone seriously since then. I worried about my friend, but knew better than anyone that she had to go her own way and heal in her own time.

Brooks had gone on to graduate school in Maryland. I had honestly thought that once he had moved away, we would lose touch. Even though I had meant it when I had told him our friendship was the kind that would last a lifetime, I had doubts that he’d ever truly forgive me for going back to Maxx. I was delighted when only a few weeks after he had left he had called me, telling me to turn to channel ten. I did as I was instructed and discovered Deuce Bigalow playing. We watched it together, quoting the lines and laughing the whole time. It was almost as good as having him there beside me.

And even though we didn’t talk as much as we used to, I knew that he’d always be in my life. I really was a lucky girl.

I lifted my hair off the back of my neck, fanning myself. I was sweltering under my cap and gown. The dress I was wearing underneath was soaked in sweat. I hoped Mom and Dad wouldn’t mind coming back to the apartment with me so I could change.

There was a slight disturbance from behind me, then I felt cool fingers on the back of my neck.

“Hey,” a voice breathed in my ear, and I shuddered, still as affected by him as I had ever been. I turned around to find Maxx. He had pushed two graduates aside and made room for himself on a chair just behind me. His blue eyes were sparkling as he looked at me.

“What are you doing? You can’t be over here,” I chastised, grinning back at him.

“It’s only for a minute,” Maxx said, not bothered that he was causing a bit of a scene.

He leaned over and took hold of my arm, then slipped something onto my wrist. I looked down to see the silver cuff bracelet Jayme had given me.