“I beg to differ,” I replied glumly. “Long distance relationships only work for people who don’t screw things up on a regular basis. What’s the guarantee that I won’t fuck things up now?”

“I thought therapy helped,” Dad replied quietly.

I blinked in surprise. “It did…in a way.” Sighing, I threw my body against my bed and rubbed my eyes. “It helped me realize my shortcomings and the fact that I am my own shortcoming.”

Dad snorted. “Hate to say it, but you’re giving yourself too much credit.”

“Gee thanks,” I replied dully.

“You do realize people have free will, right?”

“Uh, yeah?” What was he getting at?

As if explaining the most obvious thing in the world, he said slowly, “Maybe you didn’t drag her down after all and maybe she didn’t drag you down as I previously thought. Maybe she liked doing all those things, same as you did.”

“I guess…” I was still left utterly confused.

He pressed on. “And maybe she’s woman enough now to finally show you what she’s been trying to all along. She’s a stronger person, and she’s in control of her destiny the same way you’ve always been in control of yours.”

“I never thought she was weak. I just thought…”

“You thought too little of her, as did I,” he admitted. “Give her more credit than you have been. She sounds like she knows what she’s doing.”

Chapter 21

Rossi’s Novelties was closed on New Year’s Day, and I couldn’t have been happier. It gave me a chance to reevaluate everything and to prep myself for my first encounter with Rocky. It also gave me ample opportunity to sit down with my mother. I really wasn’t looking forward to spending so much time with her, but like she said, picking this nurse was a two-person job. God be with whomever we chose.

I placed my newly brewed mug of coffee down on the kitchen table, causing the old thing to wobble. It was the same table from my childhood, and guessing from the scratches, scraped paint, and other stains littering the monstrosity, she’d really given it a run for its money.

“Used and abused. I know the feeling.”

Mom staggered toward the chair opposite of me and plopped down, eyeing me expectantly. Her tank ticked ominously, like a metronome guiding the rhythm of her wandering gaze.

I shifted uncomfortably, feeling the burn from her glare. “What are you looking at?”

“I was just thinking that you look more and more like your father each day.” She paused and began to cough, pulling at the translucent skin hanging from her throat. “How is he, by the way? I never thought to ask.”

“He’s fine.”

Mom remained quiet, as if waiting for me to say more. When she realized that was about as deep as my answer would get, she muttered in a hoarse tone, “Well, let’s get this over with so you can abandon me just like he did.”

If auras were visible, mine would have been ripped and stained with bright red. Palms clammy, I opened and closed my fist. “Are you being serious right now?”

“You and your dad are cut from the same cloth. Both selfish pigs.” She crossed her arms across her chest, wincing as her elbow knocked into her tank. She was never one to show physical pain, and that one action alone disarmed me. However, I was not going to go down without a fight. Not anymore.

“Selfish? You want to talk about being selfish? Who was it who cared more about getting high than watching her own son? Better yet, who cared more about feeling buzzed than salvaging her own marriage?” I was struggling not to yell, but miserably failing. Years’ worth of pent up aggression had finally burst from its prison.

Her thin, almost translucent lips remained pressed together, exaggerating the cracked lines surrounding her mouth. Her dark eyes seemed almost black, void of any expression.

Realizing that arguing with my mother was like picking a fight with a two-year-old, I slammed down hard on the table and shoved a packet of papers toward her. “Here. I took the liberty of skimming the list without you. I circled the ones that I like. Choose one—just one—from that list. That’s kind of picking together, right?”

Scowling, she threw the papers to her side, watching as the pile floated toward the ground like graceful feathers wafting in the air. It almost looked beautiful, but unfortunately nothing in the Tyler household ever stayed beautiful for long. Take my mother, for instance. Had it not been for her recreational drug use and alcohol abuse, I could almost imagine her as a vibrant brunette, full of life and promise. I gazed upon her wrinkled, leathery skin sadly. She wasted her life away, plain and simple.

I’d never let myself do that again.

“Pick who you want, I don’t give a fuck anymore.” I jumped to my feet, nearly knocking the rickety table over. “I’ll be out of your life for good. Count on it.”

Chapter 22

The winter weather was annoying the crap out of me. Every moment in Bethel Hills was like tempting hypothermia or at the very least inviting pneumonia to set in. The atmosphere was dreary—grey with no hint of winter sun. Even the darkened trees seemed to cry out, begging for warmth.

I pulled into the Texas-sized parking lot of Rossi’s, careful not to drift along the icy asphalt, another effect of Jack Frost’s wrath. Setting my car in park, I let out a soft groan when I spotted Rocky’s sedan sitting primly toward the front. “Of course. Why wouldn’t she be here already?”

One hesitant step after another, I approached the store’s main doors. Through the foggy glass I could make out one dim light shining from inside.

“Well, here goes nothing.”

Lifting a gloved hand, I knocked softly, jarring the condensation loose. I stepped back, half-heartedly watching a makeshift race between two separate water droplets. By the time they reached the bottom of the doorframe, I was basically a popsicle.

“C-come on, R-r-rocky, I know you’re in t-t-t-here.” My teeth chattered against one another painfully.

I knocked again, this time louder and more insistent, but once again I was met with no answer. Knock after knock, nothing. Then finally, after the umpteenth time, I spotted Rocky dragging herself toward the front of the store. Judging by the horrified look on her face, she was feeling about as awkward as I was. She opened the door, but failed to lift her gaze to meet mine.

The day’s gonna suck with both of us feeling uncomfortable. Might as well try to alleviate the situation.

“Damn, girl!” I joked, jumping inside. “It’s freezing outside! What are you trying to do? Freeze my balls off or something?”

She gaped at me as if I had just spoken a foreign language, briefly eyeing me in suspicion.

I decided to continue playing dumb. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

She bit the corner of her mouth, causing her bottom lip to plump toward the side. My gaze dropped down, eyeing the tender pink skin. Proudly, I reminded myself I had kissed those lips just two nights before.

“I sort of thought things would be awkward between us,” she admitted, still shielding her eyes from mine.

“Why? Because you finally kissed me after almost ten years?” I blurted out, still entranced by her bubble gum lips.

“Excuse me?” She was put off, that’s for sure, and quickly made a beeline for the cash wrap.

Acting purely on impulse, I chased after her and replied, “C’mon, I always knew you sort of liked me. Surprised you waited so long.”

She paled. “I…I…uh…wait…what?”

“I’m not as dense as you always thought I was. I’m actually smarter than I look,” I said matter-of-factly.

“I never thought you were dense,” she snapped.