Miss Information peeked out her window. Snot Rocket was right. Secret Service agents in dark suits were crawling out of every nook and cranny. They were joined by a company of soldiers all carrying large weapons. The bus was surrounded within seconds.

“What were you thinking?” Loudmouth bellowed.

“I was thinking we’d try your powers out,” Miss Information said. “And fulfill a promise to Tessa at the same time. This is going to cause her dad all kinds of hassle.”

“Couldn’t we have started off with a shopping mall or an old folks’ home?” Funk asked. “We need practice before we do something crazy like this.”

Snot Rocket dug his finger into his nose. “We’re all going to jail. They’re going to throw us in a dark hole and never let us out.”

“No one is going to jail, silly,” Miss Information said. “Look at those guards. They’re just regular people. Now look at yourselves. You’re experienced bullies with unstoppable superpowers. You’re machines of chaos! Besides, it’s not like you haven’t done this before. You guys have been a team for years.”

Tessa turned to face her. “This is our first time.”

Miss Information felt like someone had unleashed a hive of angry hornets inside her head. She thought she might barf and had to hold on to the seat in front of her to make sure she didn’t pass out. It’s what happened when she got confused, and lately, she was confused a lot. Of course, she knew Tessa was right. This was the BULLIES’ first mission. But her memories kept getting jumbled with the wild, unsettling dreams she had at night, where she was a librarian who helped a group of kids save the world. She was in love with a man who had amazing hair, and she wore an awful lot of cardigans. But those kids in her dreams were her worst nightmare in the real world. They called themselves NERDS and were responsible for ruining all of her plans. Why was she confusing the two? Was there something wrong with her?

“OK, Tessa ‘Code Name to Be Decided’ Lipton. What’s the plan?” she asked, forcing the fog from her mind.

The girl blinked back at her.

“Tessa, this is your show. What do you think we should do to get your daddy’s attention?”

She stared blankly at the White House.

“Tessa, a good leader can come up with a winning plan no matter what the situation. We’re here and we’re surrounded. What should we do?”

“Um …”

Miss Information tried to be patient with her. She was probably just suffering from first-time supervillain jitters.

“OK, listen up. As as you can see, we’re surrounded,” Miss Information continued. “If we try to get off this bus, they will arrest us. Luckily, we have someone with us who can change her appearance to look like someone very important—someone like the president of the United States. Isn’t that right, Tessa?” Tessa went to work twisting her face, until she looked like the identical twin of her father. Her holographic projector built a sharp blue suit just like the one her father wore. The rest of the team stared at her in awe.

“See? What did I tell you? Coolest power ever!” Miss Information said, helping Tessa out of her seat and toward the front of the bus, where the Antagonist sat in his kitchen smock. He opened the door with his silver hook and wished them luck.

Immediately, the guards and soldiers lowered their weapons.

“Mr. President,” one of the guards said to Tessa. “We had no idea it was you. Where is your security detail, sir?”

“Um … we got a flat tire, so they stayed with the car,” Tessa said in as deep a voice as she could muster. “And these fine, upstanding children offered me a ride home. Sorry if we’ve caused any problems.”

“Perhaps we should get you inside.”

“Good thinking. Kids, who wants a tour?” Tessa asked.

The guard shook his head. “Sir, I’m sure we could schedule something, but the children need to be screened in advance.”

“Oh, c’mon, Charles,” Tessa said. “Do children really need a full background check? They’re kids. What are they going to do—attack me with their bubble gum? We can make an exception this one time.”

The guard looked to his colleagues and the soldiers behind him.

“I’m sorry, sir, but that’s not going to be possible.”

“That’s disappointing. I suppose we’re all in for a big temper tantrum, then. The kids were really excited about the tour.”

Loudmouth stepped forward and shouted something incomprehensible about mean girls and the time saltwater taffy got stuck in her hair. The sound waves were so intense that they knocked the entire group of armed agents and soldiers off their feet.

“See what you’ve done?” Tessa said to the fallen agents.

Thor pulled the front door of the White House off its hinges and broke it in half over his knee.

Funk raised an armpit and emitted a gaseous green cloud that covered the building’s windows, pressing them inward until they shattered. Snot Rocket fired explosive boogers through the doorway. A moment later there was a KA-POW! Wood and plaster came flying through the opening.

“Follow me!” Tessa cried, leading her team inside. Miss Information followed proudly. “This is the Green Room, team,” Tessa said. “My father uses it to meet with foreign dignitaries. The Queen of England sat on that chair once. He wouldn’t let me meet her. What do you think, Loudmouth?”

“Nice place!” Tammy shouted, then turned her voice on the furniture. Antiques splintered, candelabras smashed through windows, and a chandelier worth a million dollars crashed onto a table and showered the room with a billion tiny crystals. An electrical fire ignited where the lamp once hung, filling the room with smoke and setting off a piercing alarm, but none of the BULLIES stayed long enough to be annoyed. There were other rooms to destroy.

“This is my dad’s favorite room. They call it the Red Room. He likes to read in here when he should be asking me about my day,” Tessa said as she led everyone inside. The scarlet furniture was impeccable. “Funk, you’re up!”

The filthy boy laid his hands on the wall and a black mold spread to every corner of the room and every piece of furniture. Soon, mushrooms were growing on chairs and fuzzy white ooze dripped off everything. The air turned sour and putrid, making Miss Information gag.

“I need to show you the best room in the house,” Tessa said, rushing out of the Red Room with the rest of the team in tow. She threw open a door and ushered everyone inside. The carpet was a royal blue with the U.S. Great Seal stitched in the center. A large oak desk sat near a bank of windows covered in gold drapes. Several flags stood nearby.

“The Oval Office,” Tessa said. “Daddy sits in here and drinks lemonade while he reads national security briefs. I’m not allowed to bother him. He calls it his sanctuary. I hate this room most of all. Tear this place apart!”

Snot Rocket fired a booger at the desk and it exploded. Thor picked up a chair and heaved it through a window. Funk caused a black stain to grow on the ceiling above them. Loudmouth screamed a hole into the wall.

“Brilliant, Tessa!” Miss Information said.

Tessa grinned. “They’ll never reelect a guy who let a bunch of kids destroy the world’s most famous house.”

Miss Information laughed. “He’ll be lucky if they don’t hang him!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” said a voice from behind her. Miss Information turned and looked through the hole that Loudmouth had created in the wall. Five children stood on the lawn. Their leader had poofy blond hair and thick glasses. Next to her was a short African American kid, a heavy-breathing Korean girl, a kid with the worst set of braces she had ever seen, and a jittery kid stuffing orange circus peanuts into his mouth. Seeing them, the pain returned to Miss Information’s head. She stumbled, fighting to separate her dream world from the real one.