“We know you sent us to fight your stupid robots at the Hoover Dam,” the blond leader said, “but you forgot something very important—we have a rocket.”

“Ms. Holiday,” the Asian girl said. “We love you very much and we hope we can help you overcome whatever has control over you, but right now you’re about to get your butt kicked.”

“Who’s Ms. Holiday?” Loudmouth shouted.

“Who cares?” Funk asked. “What do we do?”

“Attack!” Tessa said, and the two teams stampeded at each other. Paintings were torn apart, furniture was used as battering rams, punches connected with walls, and several fires broke out. The skinny Mexican kid went toe-to-toe with Thor. The kid with the braces wrestled with Funk. The flying Korean girl buzzed around Loudmouth. Snot Rocket had his hands, and nose, full with the chubby kid who could walk on walls. And Tessa swung a flag stand at the girl with the glasses, who kept breaking out in hives that vanished and reappeared in the blink of an eye.

Miss Information, however, barely noticed the chaos all around her. She was trapped in a slide show of memories so bright and intense they were blinding. She saw a place like the one she had built for her BULLIES; it was called the Playground. There was a man there—a man who made her feel like she was finally home. His name was Alexander, and he was real and she loved him.

She fell over onto the floor, fighting the hallucinations. She needed air, so she ripped off her mask, which only seemed to open the door to a flood of new visions. There was a library at an elementary school, and a little flying globe just like Benjy. There was a yellow rocket and a boy with humongous buck teeth. And with each memory there came a peculiar emotion—a mixture of joy and excitement and tenderness. If she hadn’t known better, she might have guessed it was love. What was happening to her? She couldn’t concentrate and couldn’t stand. These kids’ arrival had caused her to suffer.

But the mask could protect her. The mask made everything simple. It was her shield and her weapon. It told her who she was. She slipped it back on, and all at once her head was clear. She also knew exactly what she had to do.

“Retreat!” she called. She darted through the hole in the wall and sprinted for the bus. Her team followed, slack-jawed and confused. She dove on board and raced to her seat. Alex was waiting. He had a worried expression on his face. She would explain to him what happened. He would listen.

When the kids tumbled onto the bus, she commanded the lunch lady to drive. But someone was blocking their path—the real president. He peered through the window at his twin, his mouth agape.

“Who are you?” he stammered.

Miss Information smiled. “Show him, Tessa.”

Tessa mushed her face back to normal. “It’s me,” she said, nearly spitting the words at him.

“Tessa?”

“We’re done here. Let’s go, lunch lady!” Miss Information ordered.

The Antagonist revved the bus’s engine and two soldiers dragged President Lipton away. With its path clear, the School Bus ignited its rockets and lifted into the air. Seconds later, it shot into the sky.

“Look, Tessa!” Funk said. “They’re arresting your dad.”

Tessa looked out the window. Suddenly, her glee changed to something resembling concern, but Miss Information was too busy working out her next scheme to give the girl much thought. She finally knew how to take over the world and destroy her greatest enemies at the same time. She needed to get to work.

“Get in here,” Sarah said when Ruby finally staggered home from school. “We’re in crisis mode.”

Ruby took a deep breath. Her mother knew. Of course she knew! Video of the fight had to be on every channel in the world by now. Her whole family probably saw it on the news. Her secret life was over. It was time to come clean.

“Mom, I can explain everything, but you need to listen—”

“Whatever it is, it’s going to have to wait,” Francis said, rushing into the room with Noah in his arms and Truman following at his heels. “The hotel we booked for the entire family had to close. Their furnace went out and the water pipes froze. They burst and the rooms are flooded. We’ve called every hotel, motel, YMCA, and youth hostel within a hundred miles, but everyone is booked solid.”

Ruby was confused. Hadn’t they been watching the news? Hadn’t they seen the epic battle at the White House?

“So we have a plan B,” Francis said. “Promise you won’t freak out.”

Ruby couldn’t seem to shift gears. “Um—”

“They have to stay here,” Sarah said. “With us.”

Her mother and father stood cringing as if Ruby were a stick of dynamite with a dwindling fuse. Even Noah and Truman watched with nervous baby eyes and a nervous wagging tail.

“Um, OK. Did you see the news?” Ruby asked.

“Yeah, a little bit. The president went crazy or something. They arrested him. The old folks and the kids have been battling over the TV all day, so unless it was part of a documentary on World War Two or a story involving the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, we didn’t hear much about it. Did you hear what we said? The entire family is staying here.”

Ruby shook her head to unclog the gunk in her brain. So they didn’t know—at least not yet. It was just a matter of time, though. There had been reporters everywhere when the kids were fighting Miss Information and her gang of misfits. Someone had to have gotten a shot of Ruby’s face. “Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, what is it honey?” her mother asked.

“In private.”

“Yeah, OK,” Sarah said. “Let’s go to your room.”

Ruby tried to think of what to say to her family. How did she start a story as long and as involved as hers? Mom, Dad, I’m a spy. I have robots in my body. I save the world during school hours. I just got into a fistfight with the president’s daughter in the Oval Office. There was no time to come up with an easy way to tell them about her secret life. It would be a huge shock, but it wasn’t fair to—

“WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ROOM?” Ruby cried when she opened her bedroom door.

Every drawer was open. All of her books, pens, clothes, and shoes were scattered on the floor. Board games had been opened and their pieces thrown about like confetti. Her comforter had been used as a makeshift fort, held down by dirty bricks taken from the corner of the garage. A package of cookies had clearly been stepped on and mashed into her carpet, and several juice box containers had leaked onto her pillows. Her neat, super-organized sanctuary smelled of pungent, sweaty children.

“The kids needed a place to play,” Sarah explained. “It’s no big deal. We’ll clean it up.”

Suddenly, Ruby’s entire body broke out in angry, red welts. Her feet swelled so much that her toes felt like they might burst through her sneakers. Her armpits itched, her nose ran with snot, her ears were clogged and scratchy, and her eyes felt as if someone had rubbed lemons on them. Ruby was allergic to a messy room, but she was even more allergic to being exhausted.

“They ruined everything! You know how I feel about my stuff.”

“Ruby, they’re your family. You’re just going to have to roll with the punches,” her mother insisted.

“NO! This house already has two and a half slobs living in it!” she shouted. “Now you want to invite in a hundred more and give them my room? Well, I won’t do it! It wasn’t my idea to invite everyone here for the holidays, so why should I suffer? These people don’t even like each other. They bicker the whole time about which religion slash baseball team slash bagel is the best. They never stop talking, they trash the house, and then they try to guilt us because the two of you apparently aren’t raising me and Noah right. I don’t know why you had to invite them!”