“IT’S OFFICIAL!” TRISTAN SLURS, and we all do an Alabama Slammer shot together. “You’re twenty-one!”

Bob the bartender looks at me funny and shakes his head. He’s been serving me for a few years, and he genuinely seems surprised that I was underage. He points to the rest of the band and demands their driver’s licenses. I’m the last one to turn twenty-one, so he’s in the clear.

“I could have gotten in real trouble, you assholes,” he says and angrily goes to help another customer.

Dax laughs. “There’s no way he didn’t know.”

I shrug it off and take Alex’s shot from him. “Are you going to drink this?”

He waves me off and leaves the bar.

“What’s up with him?” I ask. Dax ignores me and Tristan takes a call on his phone.

We’re getting ready to leave on our first big tour. I gather that he and Tabby are having ‘issues’ and I’m not surprised. Their relationship has been a disaster since before it even started. I shrug my shoulders and drink his shot.

My phone buzzes and my mother’s phone number pops up.

I pick it up and hear her and Bill singing “Happy Birthday” into the phone. I cringe when they attempt to hit the high notes and they finally stop. “Hey, honey,” my mom says. “Happy Birthday.”

I know she tries to make this day special for me, ever since my dad killed himself, but it’s always a huge fail. I can’t seem to find happiness on such an otherwise dark day.

“Promise you’ll come visit us when we move,” she begs. Mom and Bill are moving to North Carolina to be close to the rest of her family. They decided not to sell the house that I grew up in just in case I need a place to crash when I’m not on tour. I accept the gesture as a sign of their love for me.

“I will,” I say. I see Tristan returning from the other side of the bar with several more drinks and shots. “Hey, I gotta go.”

“Be safe and we love you.”

I hang up as soon as he slides onto the barstool next to me. “Hey there, mama’s boy,” he says, and I want to pummel him. He’s constantly making fun of me and the dozens of times a week that she calls me.

“Shut the fuck up, douchebag.”

“I can’t believe we leave for tour tomorrow. It’s crazy, isn’t it? We’re going to be huge rock stars.” Tristan throws back a shot and pushes one toward me.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, dude. We’re popular here, but out there, who knows.” I try to ground him in reality a little bit, but he won’t stay out of the clouds.

“What time do we have to meet the bus?” I ask, scanning the room for tonight’s hook-up.

He groans. “Five thirty in the morning.”

“Shit.” I do a shot and wince. “What the hell was that?” I ask, pointing to the empty shot glass.

“I don’t know. Bob made it for us.”

That explains it.

He must have poured a dirty ashtray into the most god-awful booze he could find as revenge. I feel like I’m going to puke.

“Suck it up.” Tristan laughs and picks up his phone. “I’ve got to make a call. See you tomorrow morning, birthday boy.” He snatches his phone from the bar and trots to the door. He must be looking to get one last night in with Kirsten before he’s on the road for a while.

I don’t know how much time passes, but the place is practically empty and Bob is wiping down the bar in front of me. The house lights flick on and I squint. “Jesus, turn the lights down.”

“Last call was an hour ago, G. Time for you to get going.”

“What time is it?” I ask. Did I fall asleep in here?

“It’s just after three. C’mon, we all want to go home.”

How did so many hours go by and I didn’t even notice? There are at least eight shot glasses turned upside down in front of me, and I have my hand wrapped around a warm beer. I must have fallen asleep sitting up.

“I’m going,” I say and stand up. I walk out to the quiet city street and hail the first cab I can find. I give him an address and lean back into the seat.

“Is this it?” he asks, confused. I look out the window and see the tour bus that we’ll be riding on for the next several months.

“Yup,” I say and drop a twenty into his outstretched hand.

I walk up to the door and rap on it lightly. I hear rustling and heavy footsteps coming toward the front of the bus. The door opens, and a large man fills the doorway.

“What?” he asks, and he looks menacing.

“I’m with the band, and I’m a little early I guess.”

He steps aside and lets me up the stairs. “You Garrett?” he asks.

“Yes, how did you know?”

“I’m the driver of your bus and your security team. It’s my job to know.”

“Oh.”

“I’m Mick. Welcome aboard.”

I step onto the bus and inhale deeply. It’s brand new inside, and the smell of fresh leather hits my nose. “Most of your gear is stored below, and I’ve put some things in the back.” We had to drop all of our stuff at the studio this morning so the crew could pack everything into the bus and small truck that will be traveling with us. It feels weird walking onto my home for the next several months with just my clothes on and a wallet in my pocket.

“Cool,” I say and walk toward the bunks.

“I can take any one of these?” I gesture to the empty bunks on either side of the narrow hallway.

“Yes, or the room in the back,” Mick responds as I push open the door.

A comfortable-looking bed is in the center of a small room. “I’ll take this,” I smirk and close the door behind me.

I climb into the bed and look down at my phone. Several missed calls and texts from different girls I’ve hooked up with over the past few months. I’m sure they’re all looking to have a goodbye fuck before I leave. I wish I had the energy to entertain them all, but I’m sure this room will see a lot of action in the coming months.

I scroll through the texts and see one from my mom.

MOM: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND BE GOOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I’M SO PROUD OF YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I switch off my phone and tuck it under the pillow.

I close my eyes and remember a birthday party a long time ago. It must have been when I was five or six, because my birth father was there. Mom’s singing and dad’s blowing in a noisemaker. I’m smiling and blowing out candles. My vision turns dark and my father disappears. My mom and I are all alone. I’m crying and asking “Why?”

My mother is hugging me and telling me it’s going to be okay. I remember this day when I realized my father left us for good. He deserted us and forced my mother to raise me alone.

Then he killed himself years later on this same day.

I hate this fucking day.

Sam

Present

Villanova, Pennsylvania

Age 24

“GO DOWNSTAIRS AND GET SOMETHING to eat. I’ve got things under control in here. Besides, you need a break. It’s your birthday, sweetheart.” Aunt Peggy settles into the chair with Kai sleeping in her arms.

I nod groggily and leave the room. My birthday isn’t a particularly happy time for me, but my aunt has helped me get through the toughest ones. It’s hard to celebrate happy times on the very day that my parents were murdered.

Garrett isn’t downstairs yet, and I wonder if he’s even here. He’s been in and out sporadically and I can tell the situation with Kai is really rattling him. Some days, he’s eager to help and try to participate in the various routines we have. Other times, he disappears for days on end. I try not to preoccupy myself with his irregular schedule, but I can’t help but wonder.

His man-whore ways have been the talk of the tabloids for a while now, and I hope his bad behavior doesn’t someday influence his son. Kai’s going to have an uphill battle as it is with the constant worry of addiction hanging over his head. His long-term caregiver, who theoretically is going to be Garrett, will need to keep a close eye on Kai to be sure he doesn’t display addictive behavior early on.