I brew a large pot of water for tea and slide onto one of the barstools. I look out the window and the sun is shining bright. What a gorgeous day. I’m suddenly jealous of all of the people enjoying their time outside. I wish I could get to the park or something, but I hesitate bringing Kai out in such bright sunlight. His eyes are very sensitive.

The doorbell rings, and I look to see if anyone is going to answer it. It rings again, and I realize that I’m the only one who can. I’m in leggings and a tank top, and I look like I just rolled out of bed.

I open the door and Cassie comes bounding in. “Happy Birthday!” she squeals and hugs me tight.

“Thanks,” I say and turn back toward the sound of the water boiling in the kitchen. “Do you want some tea?” I yawn and take out two mugs from the cabinet.

“No thank you,” she replies, and I slide one back in place.

“Okay.”

“Good thing you’re getting caffeinated because we’re going out tonight!”

I shake my head. “Yeah, right.” I haven’t left Garrett’s house in over a month. The only down time I have, I use it to swim. My aunt helps out as much as she can, but this is my job, not hers. “I can’t go anywhere, Cass. I have a job to do, remember? Kai is asleep with my aunt right now, but I’m his nurse. I can’t leave.” I pour the hot water over two large tea bags and let them steep.

“Peggy is staying the night so you can go out and enjoy yourself for a change!” she exclaims and claps her hands together.

“What?” Aunt Peggy didn’t mention this to me, and I don’t really think it’s a good idea.

“Yes. I called her on Monday, and she said she couldn’t think of a better way for you to celebrate your birthday than by going out with me. So drink that double-sized tea and get yourself in the shower. We’re going out.”

I sigh. I honestly don’t have it in me to be social with anyone.

“Can’t we just stay here?” I whine.

“Absolutely not.”

The door opens that leads to the garage and Garrett walks in. He looks disheveled, and I wonder where he’s been. I’ve been wondering about him a lot lately.

Cassie’s eyes light up and she blushes. She’s only met him once or twice since he’s usually never here. I know she’s star struck and can’t help herself. “Hi, Garrett!” she exclaims. I wrap both of my hands around the hot mug and slowly sip the tea. It’s black and strong with a tiny twist of lemon. Perfect.

“Hi, Cassie,” he says, and she’s twitching in her seat. I know she’s thrilled that he remembered her name.

“Hey, Sam,” he addresses me, and guilt sweeps across his face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t around to help out last night. I had something to do. How’s Kai?”

I tense a little, wondering what that ‘something’ was. A groupie, no doubt. I overheard a conversation the other day that Garrett was having on speakerphone in the library. The band’s publicist was lecturing him on maintaining good behavior. The tabloids and local news have been very nosy around his property, trying to figure out what’s been going on. After Sadie’s overdose, he’s been under a microscope. Miraculously, nobody has gotten wind that he has a baby. The social worker handled things discreetly, and since Sadie had no other family and few friends who knew what was going on with her, things were kept very quiet about Kai. Which is another reason I can’t be seen leaving the house with him. When we take him to his doctor and therapy appointments, we’re usually in one of the large SUVs with dark tinted windows. We always leave from the garage and don’t get out until the doors are closed. Miraculously, no one has tried to follow us because it’s Peggy who’s usually driving. I think the paparazzi assume that it’s just the housekeeper coming and going.

“He’s good. Aunt Peggy’s upstairs with him now.”

“Sam’s going out tonight,” Cassie interrupts. “It’s her birthday!”

His eyes flicker for a moment, and he walks towards me. “Happy birthday,” he says genuinely and reaches out to softly touch my arm. His touch feels nice and I sigh.

Cassie looks between us and the startled look on her face is hard to miss.

“Want to come?” she asks.

Garrett smiles. “No, thank you though.” He reaches into the refrigerator and takes out a large jug of Gatorade. He opens the top and starts to chug it right from the bottle. He must be hung-over or something.

“You totally should come,” Cassie insists, and it makes me uncomfortable.

“Sorry, I have other plans,” he says and places the Gatorade back into the refrigerator.

“Of course you do,” she stammers, embarrassed that she pressed him.

“So you’re going out tonight?” he asks me, and I flush a little.

“I keep telling her no, but she’s insisting.”

He smiles. “It is your birthday, after all. You should go out and enjoy yourself. When was the last time you even left here when it wasn’t a trip to the doctor or pharmacy?”

“It’s been a while.” I shrug.

“It’s settled, then. Enjoy yourselves.”

The doorbell chimes again and I answer it. This house hasn’t seen this much commotion since I first arrived.

I open it and see Heath’s large frame standing in front of me. This guy is so tall; it would be intimidating if you didn’t know him. He’s honestly one of the most down-to-earth members of Epic Fail. I’ve met him a couple of times, and I know he annoys Garrett when he comes by. My aunt says Heath was with Garrett the day he found out about Kai and feels connected to the little boy. It’s hard not to feel a connection to Kai. I’m already in love with him.

“Hey, Heath. Garrett’s in the kitchen.”

“Hey, Sam.”

He strides past me and addresses Garrett. “They’re expecting us by four. Are you ready?”

“What time is it?” I ask Cassie without looking at the large clock on the wall.

“Three,” she says while staring at Heath. Her jaw is about to hit the table.

“Wow.” I completely lost track of time. I honestly thought it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. Last night was a long night with Kai, and I must have really messed up my internal clock.

“I’m ready now,” Garrett says and swipes his keys from the counter.

He turns back to me and says one more time, “Happy birthday, Sam.”

The door shuts behind them, and Cassie says, “Oh my God. I think I’m in love. Heath is just…”

I laugh. “You say that every single time you meet a hot dude. How can you be in love with so many people?” I ask, joking.

“Easy.” She shrugs and slaps me on the butt. “Get ready, we’re meeting the girls for dinner, and I want to run a few errands before we go.” I haven’t seen Becky and Marcie since I was put on administrative leave. I admit it will be nice to see them again, but I’m mentally and physically exhausted. Full-time nursing doesn’t come close to the levels of exhaustion that I feel every single day. It’s like being a mom.

“I’ll be down in a half hour. Make yourself comfortable.” I slowly climb the staircase and tip-toe into Kai’s room.

“Did you know about this?” I whisper to Peggy.

She smiles and continues rocking Kai. “You need to enjoy yourself for a change. Go out. Have a good time. Kai will be here waiting for you tomorrow morning. Happy birthday,” she says and dismisses me from the room.

I take a deep breath in the hallway and duck into one of the guest rooms to shower and get ready for my date with Cassie.

I can’t believe what a turn my life has taken. Never in a million years would I ever have imagined that I’d be yearning to stay home with a child that isn’t even mine. I’ve grown so close to him and feel his every ounce of pain and suffering. I wish I could take it all away so he could be peaceful and pain-free.

I look at myself in the mirror and trace the tired lines around my eyes. I’ve aged more during the past few months than I have in all of my twenty-four years. Is this what my mother looked like at my age? She was beautiful at forty, and I doubt she looked this tired at twenty-four.