“I love you, Mom and Dad,” I whisper into the mirror.

I miss them so much.

Garrett

Present

Villanova, Pennsylvania

Age 27

“DOES SHE KNOW TODAY’S YOUR BIRTHDAY TOO?” Heath asks as he pulls out of the gate at the end of my driveway.

“No,” I respond. I’m still shaken by the fact that we share a birthday. A day where we both lost parents. My father had control over his demise, but her family did not. I wonder what goes through her mind every year on the anniversary of her parents’ death. I can’t help but think about all of the years I spent wondering where my father was. Did he miss me? Did he want to see me again?

“How long has she been with you? Four or five months?” Heath asks.

“Why?” I ask, wondering why this is a relevant question.

“You’d think you’d know by now what day her birthday is. Don’t you think?”

“I don’t know what you’re getting at. It’s not like Sam and I are… ” What are we?

We arrive at the studio, and everyone’s cars are there. Even Alex’s. It doesn’t seem to bother Heath too much that Alex is still involved with us and our creative process. He’ll be happy if one or two of his songs make it onto the next album. Nothing really fazes Heath, and I like that about him.

Our manager and publicist are both here as well as several suits from the record label. Today is a critical day in planning for our next tour and, for the first time since Kai came to live with me, I dread having to leave him. It’s been a while since I’ve felt the need to escape. He’s growing fast, and his rough patches are starting to become less frequent. I’m conflicted about planning our tour knowing I’m going to have to leave him.

We’ve all filled the room and have jammed around a conference table. Our manager, Tom, shuts the door. “Okay, let’s get right to it. We need to know how committed Epic Fail is to finishing this next album. From what I see, you have two tracks out of twelve complete. What’s going on?”

He scans the room and tries to make eye contact with each of us. Alex is as relaxed as he could be because the pressure isn’t on him at all. He has most of the lyrics written that he wants to present to us. It’s up to us to create the music.

Dax speaks first, as always. “Tom, we all have competing priorities at the moment, and I think we need to lay out a flexible timeline that we can adapt to.”

“We’re booking stadiums for over a year from now and we need to know if you’re going to have a new album to tour with,” one of the record executives speaks up. I don’t know his name, but I think he’s been involved with planning our tours in the past.

“That’s kind of hard to say,” Dax responds.

My mind drifts as voices raise in the room. All I can think about is how big Kai will be this time next year. Will he be walking? Talking? Running? Will he be happy or will he still have residual issues from his drug exposure?

Will Sam still be helping us?

That’s the critical question and my gut tells me no. I overheard her talking with Peggy the other day about trying to get her old job back. Apparently, the hospital administration conducted a full investigation into the death of the little boy that she was caring for. They retracted their decision to suspend her and offered to reinstate her at full pay. I don’t fully understand what happened, but I think that’s good news for her. But bad news for me.

“Garrett?” Tom asks, and I realize that I have no idea what everyone was just talking about.

“I’m sorry, what was the question?” I ask.

“Can you be ready to tour in six months?” Tom asks, his tone stiff.

“No way. I don’t see us getting close to finishing our album and getting ourselves together that quickly,” I respond and look to Dax for the assist.

“I think we can all agree that six months is way too soon.” Dax jumps in, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

“How about a compromise?” Tom interjects.

Dax raises his eyebrow and leans forward. “Compromise?”

“Let’s plan a small venue acoustic tour where you play your current albums and work on the new album on the road. We could potentially film it, following you as you tour various cities.”

Tristan smirks. “The Foo Fighters just did something similar with Sonic Highways. Although it wasn’t acoustic, it’s too close to copying their last tour.”

Tom shoves his hands in his pockets. “Well, I’ve exhausted my ideas.”

Heath speaks up. “I think if we set a flexible schedule, we can get moving quicker than we all think.” He looks at me. “Garrett, what about using your recording studio? Since Alex and Tristan live close to you, we can make it easy on you guys and come out there, instead of the city?”

Dax nods and seems to like this idea. Tristan would be thrilled not to have to go into the city as much as we would need to if we were recording there. My studio at home is great but could use some upgrades.

“We’ll need to do a minor configuration change to the boards and add a second soundproof section of the room.” I turn to Tom. “Can you get some guys out next week or the week after so we can run through specs?”

“It’s going to cost money. You know this, right?” Tom replies.

Dax turns to the record executives. “If you want us on the road in twelve months, this is our deal on the table. The label handles all modifications to Garrett’s studio or we push the start of our tour out indefinitely.”

Tom is clearly useless in this negotiation and Dax has taken control.

The executives huddle at the end of the conference table, and by the end of their whispered discussion, they’re all nodding their heads in agreement.

After a few more discussion topics, the meeting is adjourned and we all file out of the crowded conference room.

Alex approaches me and puts his hand on my shoulder. “How’re you doing, bro?”

“Hanging in there,” I say.

“Thanks for offering your studio.”

“Well, Heath offered it up and I just agreed. I don’t want to let my current situation affect the rest of these guys. I don’t want to let them down, you know?”

We talk in code because the label has no idea what’s going on. Our publicist advised me to keep Kai and his existence secret until he’s healthy enough to share with the world. We don’t need the extra stress of stalkers at my house.

“Tabby and the kids would love to come meet your little man. Just let me know when. She’s been itching to get over to see him. I just don’t want her getting any ideas.” He laughs. “Little Noah is in his terrible two’s, and trust me, this factory is closed for a while.”

It’s been so long since I’ve seen Tabby and the kids that I didn’t even think Noah was walking yet. “Wow, you must have your hands full.”

“You will soon.” He chuckles. “Gotta run. See you in a few weeks?”

I nod and he takes off.

“Ready?” Heath says as he approaches me.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, sorry about that in there. I just didn’t want to see our whole deal fall apart with the label. They were squirming in their seats for a while, and I was worried they were going to force a contract restructuring or something like that.”

“It’s okay. I think this arrangement will work.” I just hope it doesn’t bother Sam. She’s so used to it being quiet and somewhat peaceful at my place. I should have run this by her before I said yes. What if this disturbs Kai too much?

The drive home is short, and Heath drops me at the front door. “Want to come in for a beer?” He looks at me funny. I’ve never been super social with him, but somehow the two of us always wind up together.

“Nah, I’m exhausted.” He looks in his rearview mirror as another car is pulling up behind him.