I start to move slowly in and out of her, just relishing in the feel of our bodies joined together. I press my mouth to hers, just feeling her warm breaths on my lips. “This is the part I love most,” I whisper. “You never make me feel like I’m just a fuck. You make me feel like I’m a man.” I press a kiss beneath her eyes as tears sneak out. “You make me feel loved and wanted.”

She smiles through her tears and it’s so beautiful. “I do love you and I’ll always want you.”

I can feel the tears lodging in my throat. “Thank you for saving me, River.”

“Oh, Baby,” she sobs, “it was you who saved me.”

The End…

Other books by Michelle Horst

Wake Me Up 

A Tainted Ink Novel

Prologue

Emma~

“I’ll be like Mum.” It makes me sick to my stomach to say this. My grandfather was a drunk. She is a drunk. I don’t want to be a drunk.

I want to scream this at her, but I can’t. I can only sit still. I’m drowning in the disgusting feelings suffocating the air out of my lungs, until my chest starts to ache. It hurts to listen to my mum, but I can’t bring myself to move. Years of conditioning and fear keeps me frozen to the spot.

“You just read those books, that’s all you do,” she goes on. “You’re throwing your life away. There’s no silver lining, no happily ever afters, no fairy tales. Life is hard, babes,” she leans over and hisses in my face. Her stinking breath wafts over me, sticking to my skin. “And without me you won’t make it. EVER.”

She sits back and her chin wobbles. Oh no, not the tears!

I have to hold her. It’s the only way to calm her down. I get up and go to her, my body feeling rigid. It feels as if every muscle is fighting me, wanting to run the other way. I reach out to her, my arms feeling like rubber. I hug her to my chest and another wave of disgust wells up in me, threatening to squeeze the last bit of life from my body. The smell of her greasy hair makes my stomach turn. The clamminess of her alcohol-drenched skin sticks to my hands.

I go numb. No, I’m lying. I do feel something.

I feel sick. To. My. Stomach. Sick.

“I’m nothing without Mum. I won’t make it without Mum. Ever. Please hold me Mum. Don’t let me go.”

~*~

Chapter One

Emma ~

She’ll follow me no matter where I run to. It’s the first thought that crosses my mind as I place the suitcase down at the foot of the bed. I hate my parents for doing this to me, for making me run to North Carolina, the other side of the bloody world. But I’ve had enough! I have to do this for myself. I have to try and escape somehow.

I’ve heard stories of great men. What makes a great man? I’ve stopped asking this question, because I really don’t believe there is such a thing.

There was a time I thought men were supposed to be protectors of women, but time has molded men into weaklings. My mum molded my dad into a wimp and nothing more. My dad is a wimp. Weakly interacting massive particle or WIMP, a hypothetical particle serving as one possible solution to the dark matter problem – the dark matter problem being my mother. That’s the definition Astrophysics gave for my mum and dad.

I grew up surrounded by wealth and culture, tucked away in a small village that some would find perfect. Pendoylan is picture perfect by England’s standards. It’s a cozy little town. I love the beauty of my village, but I hate the prison cell it had become. The irony, that one can hate such beauty and wealth, and the very family you come from.

Coming to the town of Chapel Hill, I’m hoping to avoid the mad rush that comes with the big cities. I just want some peace. I know there is a lake here and Chapel Hill is known for its small town feel. I hope I chose right. I want to get away from my family and experience a bit of life. I want to live my own life.

Crickey, my stomach turns just thinking about the wonky thing I’ve gone and done. This is much bigger than I ever could’ve imagined! I might have traveled between Africa and England, but that was years ago. I never thought I’d have the courage to go against my mum. I’ve finally done it!

The old familiar fear bubbles up from the pit of my stomach and I have to remind myself that I’ve come to experience America, the one place that promises the freedom I’ve been craving for so long. That’s why I’ve done such a wonky-arsed thing. That’s why I’m standing in a stranger’s flat, in a strange town, hoping to experience a strange life.

Actually, that’s not quite true. It’s mostly Chloe’s doing. If it weren’t for her constant encouragement, I wouldn’t even be here. We’ve been joined at the hip (or should I rather say phone) since we met at the nursing college my mum forced me to go to. Studying at the nursing college, was the one time I got to experience a sense of freedom. I met Chloe there and by the time we finished our studies we were best friends.

She hated that we couldn’t visit with each other afterwards. That’s when she came up with the ‘escape the parents’ idea. She wanted me to experience life so she helped plan it all so my mum wouldn’t find out, giving her automatic guardian angel status in my life. It’s not easy going against my mum. I know when I go back there will be hell to pay, but at least this short moment of freedom will be worth it. I’m hoping I can figure out a way so I won’t have to go back. Just maybe a miracle will happen.

I’d be lost without Chloe. She’s my complete opposite, spontaneous, flirty, but most of all, she’s brave in ways I can only dream of being. She’s already living on her own, working – experiencing life. (Yeah, completely unlike me.) I didn’t even know about international roaming for my phone. Chloe sorted that one out for me, as well.

I wish she were here with me now. The time difference is going to be a pain in the butt for us to communicate. That reminds me, I need to let her know I’ve landed safely.

A smile spreads across my face the second I hear her voice, “I’ve been going nutters! Did you land in one piece? Is the flat nice? What is your flatmate like? Have your parents cont-”

“Chloe! Slow down, one at a time,” I stop her interrogation. I love her dearly, but she’s insanely protective of me. “I’m in one piece, but thanks to all those energy drinks you shoved into my system, I feel jittery.”

I struggle with nightmares and it makes me a restless sleeper. I didn’t want to sleep on the plane. A lot of help the energy drinks were. I fell asleep anyway, waking up to people staring at me, as if I were some mental bat.

“Well, at least you’ll have plenty of energy to have a go at a bloke then,” she teases.

“I said I feel jittery, not energized,” I correct her. “You’re not going to let that one go, are you?” She has made a short list of things I have to experience while here. Having sex with an American bloke is at the top of her list. Getting sloshed is second. She figures I should do both at the same time, it might give me more guts to go through with it, seeing as I still have to hand in my old V-card to begin with. (I’m still debating the whole thing.)

“No, never! If I had the option of losing mine with an American then I would have gone with it, instead of the nutcase I ended up with. Sunshine, you have to let your hormones sing the American Anthem. Take one for the team.”

Chloe only refers to the bloke as a nutcase, she never goes into any detail about her first time or the bloke, and that scares me even more. What if my first time turns out to be the same?

“You did not just say that? Honestly! Take one for the team?” I burst out laughing, desperately trying to laugh my nerves away.