“Yeah, and I want juicy details. You can be glad I’m not asking for photos. What’s the place like?” she asks again, reminding me of her earlier questions.

“The flat is really nice! It’s a two bedroom. It has an open plan kitchen and small lounge. The bedroom is huge, Chloe! It has a lovely cupboard and the window looks out over a beautiful courtyard. Oh, and I have my own bathroom. It’s nothing like the room at home! It’s easily twice as big.” Excitement starts to bubble up as I glance around the room again. “Did I mention the bathroom? It has a shower,” I squeal.

A sense of freedom washes over me as I take in all the space around me. The room is really twice as big as the one I had back home, and I don’t have to run through the house to get to the bathroom. I don’t have to face my mum. I swallow hard on the lump forming in my throat. I’m really free.

“I’m so happy you like it, Sunshine.”

“My flatmate’s not here. The lady that owns the building let me in. She’s so nice. But she was surprised to see me. We got the dates wrong. She expected me on Sunday and for some reason she got it in her mind that I was a bloke, so we had to clear that up, too. I don’t know where she got that idea from.”

“Anyway, I’m glad you’ve settled in. After everything we had to go through to get you there,” she sighs. “We were lucky to have found you a place to stay, and for the university to take you in this late in the semester. You just have to catch up the work. You can do it. It’s only two weeks. Just get enough credit to be able to stay there.”

I love Chloe dearly, she’s become my pillar of strength.

“I will. I’m going to do this. I’m going to show her I can survive on my own.” I feel my chest swell with emotion. That’s all I really want, to be free and to show my mum I don’t need her – I can live without her.

“Just don’t answer your phone if that bitch tries to phone you! Don’t reply to her texts. Don’t let her intimidate you. Remember, she’s all mouth and no trousers. You’re safe there.”

“Thank you for this chance, Chloe. Thank you for making this possible.”

“You know I’d ride a porcupine starkers for you,” she laughs. I don’t know where she heard that, but since she did, she hasn’t stopped saying it.

“Around the world and back,” is the best I can do in the form of telling her I love her. Growing up with Attila the Hun for a mother makes those words hard to say to another person, besides my gran.

“Now go on! Go get sloshed and grab a dishy bloke. Tonight is the night you get yourself de-virginized!” she all but shrieks in my ear.

“It’s going on ten p.m. this side. Can’t I do it tomorrow night?” I try to put the inevitable off for one more night.

“No. Tonight, or you will never do it. And remember, I want details.” She tries to sound bossy, but fails with the laughter coming through in her voice.

“I wish you were here with me. I don’t know how to ask a bloke. What do I say? I can’t just walk up to one and ask him to shag me.” I’m so nervous I start chewing on the inside of my cheek. At the rate I’m going, I’m bound to chew straight through the flesh before the night is over.

“That is why you need to get sloshed first. Then you find yourself a bloke, smile that stunning smile of yours and flirt a little. Sunshine, even if you have to put a bloody flag over his face and do it for the old Queen and country, just get it done,” she laughs.

“A lot of help you are. First he has to be decent, now I have to put a flag over his face.” But it’s working. I’m smiling.

Then she comes up with the wonkiest idea ever. “Do you want to practice on me? Pretend I’m a bloke.” I stare all flustered at the phone, before bringing it back to my ear.

“Have you gone mental? That’s even worse than trying to land some bloke!” My face flushes red. “Don’t bother. I’ll get it sorted. I can do this.”

“Just go have fun, Sunshine, you’re too serious about the whole thing. You’re finally free. Go enjoy your freedom.”

“Alright. Freedom. Experiences. Got it,” I’m repeating it all like a bloody parrot, just so it will sink in. “I’ll go dazzle some unsuspecting fellow with my smile and hope it’s enough to get him to shag me.” I’m going to have to get really sloshed for that to happen.

Nervous excitement bubbles in the region of my stomach again, making me feel even more wired. I’m going to go to a pub. I’m going to get sloshed for the first time. Reality is starting to sink in fast now.

“Take your phone with. Ring me if you need me. Text me. I’m on standby,” she says, offering her support to me like she always does.

“You’re the best, you know that, right?” I start to say goodbye.

“No, you’re the best,” she laughs.

“I’ll let you know how it goes.”

My phone beeps just as I cut the call. One glance tells me I can’t run from the inevitable. I’ve ignored all my mum’s messages, but now she has my dad texting me, as well. Chloe would kill me if she knew I was answering them, but I can’t just ignore them – they are my parents.

Where are you? We can’t reach you. Mum is worried.

I’ll reply to him – once only.

I’m taking a break from it all. You deal with Mum.

My breathing starts to speed up and I stop altogether. I start my silly habit to find some manner of calm again. I imagine an eagle taking flight, and I let all my feelings soar away with it. I let the eagle cry on my behalf, and I breathe out. “No! No more.”

I close my eyes, pressing the phone to my forehead. How I wish I could just close off the world like I just did my dad.

~*~

Well, I said I’ve come here to experience life, and the first experience is to find a pub and live it up so I have something to report to Chloe.

Wearing a pair of jeans and a white top covered by a light jacket, I don’t exactly scream hot girl looking for a bloke to help her get rid of the old V-prob. But then, I don’t want to dress up like a skank. I still have a slither of pride, even if I’m going to try and land some poor fellow.

Luckily, it doesn’t take me long to find a place. I only walk a few blocks from the flat when I reach the town. This is why we picked this flat; they said it was nice and close to everything. It’s a pity it’s dark out so I don’t get to see much of the town on my quest to find the pub. I’ve never set foot in a pub and don’t have a clue as to what to expect.

After passing a few restaurants and shops, I spot a couple of skankily dressed girls disappear into a dodgy-looking place. Strikers Bar and Grill, maybe I’ll strike it lucky in there. There should be booze, and where there are girls dressed like that, chaps are likely to follow. Like Chloe said, I only need one half-decent-looking bloke.

I stop in the entrance first, taking in the people and surroundings. I want to make a quick getaway if the place is too dodgy. The music is beating loudly, and it looks just like any old pub I’ve seen in the movies. Weathered, overused dance floor to my right, with some people already dancing. There’s a really overused bar counter to my left. The lighting is dim, and even darker in the corners. People are scattered everywhere. Some are sitting at the bar, where others seem to be having a great time at the separate tables and booths.

It looks decent enough so I make a mad dash for the bar with the goal of getting rat-arsed first. I find a seat in the far corner, reckoning the darkness could work well to my advantage. It gives me a good view of the rest of the pub, while I can hide and drown my inhibitions.

My stomach does that nervous twist again as I look over all the people. There are so many blokes I can’t even focus on one. A couple of them look my way and my mouth dries right up. I feel my cheeks flush, and the nervous twist turns into a full-blown war, tearing every last one of my nerves to shreds.

“It’s like killing two birds with one stone – two massive birds. Like prehistoric size birds. Alright, enough about the birds. Search and destroy all inhibitions by getting thoroughly sloshed,” I mumble, only making the nervous feelings worse. I need to shut up. The last thing I need is for these people to think I’m mental.