Despite the party being outside¸ I felt walls closing in around me as I stepped onto the lawn. Richard was at my side immediately with a fake smile plastered across his face.

“Sorry again for being late,” I offered. “I know how much all this means to you.” My hand did a general sweep of the party and my sarcastic tone would’ve been hard to miss for anyone other than Richard.

“It should mean a lot to you too, Juliette. These are very important people in our lives, and we have to behave properly. Turning up late with dirt on your dress is not behaving properly.”

I looked down at my dress and saw there were in fact a few specks of brown across my chest. It must have been from when I was looking in the windows at the farm house. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Why is that funny? We have standards to uphold.”

“You know I don’t enjoy these stuck-up affairs, but I’m here for my mother, Richard.” He turned into someone I didn’t even like at these functions, and he was being worse than usual. He was really pissing me off.

My mother appeared next to Richard, glaring at my chest. “For goodness’ sake. Are you a child? How on earth did you manage to sully your dress already?”

“It’s barely noticeable, Mother. I’m sure no one else will notice. And if they do, they shouldn’t be looking at my breasts.” I laughed, but it quickly turned awkward. They both looked dumbfounded. I glanced over and caught Leo’s eye. His smile took my breath away.

Richard followed my gaze. “I don’t want to see you talking to the bartender. We don’t fraternise with the staff.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about Leo, Richard. He’s a professional,” my mother assured him. “He is very handsome with all those big muscles and those piercing blue eyes…” She cut her sentence short, her cheeks enflamed.

“You don’t have to worry about Leo?” I repeated, outraged by her lack of faith in me and disturbed by her obvious ogling. “Are you saying you have to worry about me?” Yes, I found Leo outrageously hot, intriguing and unlike any man I’d ever known, but that didn’t change my situation. The few guilty pleasures I indulged in were harmless as long as they remained a secret. My relationship with my mother, whilst strained much of the time, was better than no relationship at all. I would never jeopardise that for some silly attraction and was deeply hurt that she though I might.

My mother drove the knife in further. “You’re weak, Juliette. Always have been. It’s my fault for sending Leo to look for you.” She turned to Richard. “My apologies.”

My mind flashed, imagining my hands gripping her pearl necklace and tightening it around her neck to cut off her air supply. I would watch her eyes bugging out of her head as she struggled to get a single word out. I wondered how weak she’d find me then. A matricidal scenario was an unwelcome new twist to my dark thoughts.

“It’s absolutely fine, Isabel. I put Leo in his place. He won’t be bothering Juliette again.”

The only way I could deal with Richard’s arrogant lie was with an imagined knee jab to his crotch, whilst the pearl necklace noose tightened around my mother’s neck.

“Good. Now make sure you greet the guests, Juliette.” She waved her long, manicured fingers between Richard and me. “Everyone’s been asking when you two will be tying the knot.” She turned and disappeared, no doubt smiling triumphantly, believing she had worked in another hint.

I cringed but tried to suppress it. I glanced at Richard, who was nodding his head and smiling.

Before we had a chance to start the torturous mingling routine, Leo’s gravelly voice made my whole body thrum. “Champagne?”

I closed my eyes, remembering his naked torso slick with sweat after his three fight wins, his presence commanding absolute attention from his riveted audience. Seeing him standing in the dark parking lot had given me the fright of my life. Not because I was afraid of his intimidating frame but because I didn’t want my worlds colliding.

“Thank you.” I took the glass and drained half of it without meeting his eyes.

“Dick?”

The gulp of champagne I had just taken spluttered out of my mouth and dribbled down my chin. Leo was holding his tray out for Richard. A chuckle I had battled to restrain bubbled out of my mouth as I tried to dry my chin with the back of my hand.

Richard was seething. “What did you just call me?”

“I see your glass is nearly empty. Would you like another?”

With Richard distracted for a few seconds, trying to work out if he’d heard correctly, I took the opportunity to study Leo’s face more closely. He wasn’t smiling, but the ice I’d seen in his blue eyes the night before had thawed, leaving a two-toned effect I wanted to drown in. They reminded me of the ocean’s changing depths. High cheekbones and a strong jawline befitted a man who radiated strength, vitality and dominance. Bronzed skin suggested a life spent outdoors. I wished I weren’t so interested in knowing more about him.

“No, I don’t want another,” Richard replied. “Please leave. I’m talking to my girlfriend here and you’re interrupting.”

Leo shook his head, and his mouth turned up slightly at the corners. He was amused. As he walked away, I couldn’t help wishing I could just be ‘amused’ by Richard, instead of battling committing my life to his more and more every day.

An hour of polite chit-chat ensued, and I was ready to shoot myself when I made my excuses to use the restroom. Richard caught my arm as I left.

“Don’t be long,” he warned. “I’m doing my speech in fifteen minutes and you need to be there.”

Gently tugging my arm away, I returned his tight smile with a fake one of my own. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

I made my way inside and looked around for the restrooms. The inside of the homestead was stunning with high vaulted ceilings. Eclectic lounges and wingback chairs were grouped together around coffee tables and ottomans. The upholstery patterns should have clashed but didn’t for some reason. The mixture of modern and classical pieces should have been disastrous, but they blended perfectly. My eyes were drawn upwards and became mesmerised by the chandeliers hanging on long chains. They each held five large white candles with crystal beading looping between them. They were magnificent.

“I was just admiring those earlier.”

Leo.

Talking to him was dangerous, and I had to repel his strong magnetic pull.

“I’m looking for the restrooms.”

He studied me for a few seconds before answering. “Just past the staircase. Second on your left.” He gestured behind me, briefly touching my arm.

My left arm whipped over to my right, protectively covering the place he had just touched.

“Thank you.” I turned and quickly followed his directions.

I turned the lock on the bathroom door and exhaled. I switched the lights off and closed my eyes, allowing absolute darkness to descend. I focused on my breathing and willed my thoughts to find some order. Darkness had always been my friend, and with the absence of light, it wrapped me in a blanket. Ironically, it made my world a little bit brighter.

Richard gave his speech. When he thanked his receptive audience, I hoped he wouldn’t ask me any questions. I hadn’t listened to a single word. I couldn’t even remember what the topic was. I had just stared at him and wondered how different my life could have been. Tears pricked my eyes. My mother depended on me. These unwelcome thoughts brought a fresh wave of guilt I’d spent so many years navigating. When Richard stepped down from the podium, I glanced at my mother beaming with pride. She adored him, and when he wasn’t being a pompous dickhead, I liked him enough to give her that.

I steeled myself. I owed it to my mother to be the woman she needed me to be, whatever the cost.

“You were amazing,” I gushed. “Really interesting and informative.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie.