I'm sorry I'm complaining. I know you're deployed and that things are probably scary as hell over there. I just wish I knew that you were alright. It's hard. Being here, knowing you're over there and not knowing that you're safe. Elliot said you should be back in the states again soon.

Speaking of Elliot, I have a funny story to tell you. I just got back from visiting him for Spring Break. He knew I was coming to visit, but I got there a little early and interrupted him with his flavor of the week. You should have seen the look on her face. Actually, you probably wouldn't have been focused on her face since she was naked. It was priceless. I don't think anything else that week compared to how surprised she was when I flicked on the lights. He says that she's called, but I'd be surprised if they see each other again. She didn't seem like the type that would stick around for long anyway.

Do you remember our trip to New York? It was before everything changed. It was before you signed up for the Marines. It was back when life was simpler and none of us had to worry about anything. Do you remember how Elliot tried to convince me to go shopping? Well, I finally did. In fact, I went a little overboard I think. I bought clothes, shoes, makeup. It was a life altering experience. The makeup lady was kind of scary too.

I look a little different than the last time you saw me. I would send you a photo, but I want to surprise you the next time you see me. When is that going to be? Will I ever see you again? You didn't make it home for Christmas and Elliot seems to think that you won't make it home this summer either. That makes me sad. I can tell that it bothers him too.

Think about it. If you can make it home, we would all love to see you. Everyone misses you.

XOXO

Reagan

AFTER A WEEK IN NYC, I was ready to get back to Yale. I was ready to get back to my normal life. I forced Elliot to go shopping with me on more than one occasion and now I'm almost regretting our last trip. I'm headed up the stairs with my arms full of shopping bags for the third time.

I couldn't stop at clothes. I had to have all the accessories to go with my new wardrobe. I bought shoes, purses, and makeup. Jewelry to match each outfit. Makeup in abundance. I have so many new things, I'm not sure I'm going to have room for it all in our tiny room. I'm going to have to go through my old wardrobe and pitch some stuff. Maybe all of it.

This is the new me. I keep repeating that to myself as I huff and puff up the last few steps. I need to accept the price of changing who I am. It all starts with my new look.

I'm in the middle of sorting through my old clothes when Felicity gets back from work. To say that she's excited to see me is an understatement. She jumps over a few piles and tackles me in a hug as soon as she's through the door.

"How was your trip?" She asks, rolling onto her back but not getting up.

We talked at least once a day while I was gone. She already knows everywhere I went and everything we did. She knows how much fun we had. Looking around at the mess I've made, I see why she's asking.

"It was good. I brought you something," I say, pushing myself off the floor. I search my bed for her bag amongst all the others until I find it.

"You didn't have to buy me anything. I'll just borrow what you bought when you're not looking." She would too and I wouldn't care. We share everything. I'm pretty sure she's gotten over the fact that we're from different social classes.

"I know but when I saw them I knew you would love them." I hand her the bag over a pile of clothes I'm going to be getting rid of. Popping off the floor, she jumps up and down in excitement as she digs for her present in the over-sized bag.

When she pulls out the boots, the expression on her face is priceless. Pure shock. I can't tell if she likes them or not at first. Then, her face lights up with a smile and her signature squeal sounds.

"Oh. My. God. They're awesome!"

"I hope they fit. I had to guess your size. I couldn't remember if your feet were a little bigger or smaller than mine. I guessed bigger."

"You guessed right." She goes to put them on but stops. The price tag is sticking out. I snatch the boot out of her hand as quick as I can, pull the tag off and hand it back to her before she sees it. I'm too late. "I can't accept these. They cost way too much."

"You can and you will. It's the least I can do since you couldn't come with me."

"No, really Reagan. They cost more than I make in a month."

"I know that, but they'll look amazing on you. Plus, I can't return them. I won't be going back to see Elliot until next year probably. Please." I beg her to accept them. I knew she might put up a fight. I can't believe I forgot to take the tag off.

"Fine," she says. I'm waiting for it, but it never comes. She must really like them because normally she would follow up with conditions of accepting them. Last time it was doing my laundry in exchange for the pedicure I bought her. I kept my laundry clean for over a month before she forgot about our deal.

I change the subject while she puts the boots on and walks around the room in them for a few minutes. "I'm going to the rec center for a while. Did you want to come with me?"

I'm far from overweight but working out is going to be part of the new me. I bought clothes to get me started. I bought Felicity an outfit too. I'll give that to her later, once she's over the boots. This time I'll remember to remove the price tags.

"I have to study tonight."

"Seriously? We are in our last hours of spring break. Why don't you take a moment to relax from studying? I'm sure you did plenty of that while I was gone."

She glances at the clock, I'm sure she's calculating the amount of time she'll have to study once we get back. "Let me change and I'll keep you company for a little bit. What's with the sudden interest in working out, though? You're already skinny. My big butt could stand to lose a few pounds but not you."

"First of all, your butt is not big. Second, working out creates endorphins or some shit that creates energy. At least I think that's right. I'll be more focused to study when we get back if my blood is pumping." She gives me a curious look but doesn't say anything else about it.

MY BODY IS achy. A week straight of working out at the rec center after nineteen years of never being active is killing me. If the pain doesn't subside in a few days I'm going to stop going altogether. Who am I kidding? I won't stop going. The pain supposedly means good things.

Limping up the stairs to my room I have a sudden craving for coffee. I turn back around and head across campus to the coffee shop. Thankfully, my legs start to ache less the closer I get.

I order my usual and take a seat near the front windows. People watching has become one of my favorite things to do to pass the time. I like to study them and see what I can figure out about them just from watching them for a few minutes. The group of girls walking past the coffee shop right now are sorority girls for sure. They cling to each other for dear life, walking closer than necessary. There's one near the back that reminds me of the person I use to be. She's hugging a book to her chest, following them quietly.

The chair across from me is pulled out and a guy sits down, a huge grin on his face. I stare at him for a moment before I find my manners.