I wanted her to experience it, so I laid a blanket on the sand and took an extra one to place over her so she was warm. Her immune system is so low right now. She can’t afford to get sick.

We laid on the soft sand for hours, wrapped in each other’s arms, looking up at the sky talking and laughing and even making out occasionally. It was just like old times.

Although the making out part was wonderful, it wasn’t a great idea. The longer I go without having her, the harder I’m finding it to deny myself. She practically begged me to make love to her under the stars. Saying no was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

She was clearly upset by my knockback. Doesn’t she realise how hard this is for me? How much I want her? I hate denying her of anything, so I eventually relented and slipped my hand down the front of her pants and brought her undone with my fingers.

Hearing her little whimpers and feeling her come against my hand almost had me caving. I wanted inside her so bad, but I held strong. As soon as she’s well again, I’m gonna tie her to my bed and fuck her until we both pass out. That she can be certain of.

I couldn’t stop smiling by the time we headed back to the apartment, neither could she. It was exactly what we both needed. My heart felt so much lighter.

Now we’re back to where we started. I hate what this fucking radiation is doing to her. On our way back to Ross’ house, I had to pull over to the side of the road twice so she could vomit. After I carried her into the house and placed her in bed, I laid down with her until she fell asleep before getting up and heading over to my mum’s. I needed a little time out. Sadly though, what I found when I got there had me wishing I’d stayed in bed with Indiana.

As soon as I entered the house, I found my mum with her face buried in her hands, sobbing. Christ. I thought she was improving. I drop my keys onto the table by the entry, immediately making my way to her. “Mum,” I say concerned, sitting beside her and draping my arm around her shoulder. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Oh, Carter,” she cries burying her face into my chest.

“What’s going on?” I can’t stand to see her like this.

“I just got off the phone with a private investigator. My father died.” What the fuck? Her father died and she’s crying? Why that pisses me off, I can’t say. Yes I can. After the way he treated her, treated me …

“And that upsets you? Why?” I ask a little angrier than anticipated.

“Despite everything, he was my father, Carter.” Father my arse. That’s the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever heard. Not only did he kick his daughter out of her home when she was nineteen, pregnant, and had nowhere else to go, he ruined my life. His only grandchild. “I just hoped that one day we’d be able to make amends. Now that’s never going to happen.”

“I’m sorry, Mum, but he was an arsehole. He treated us both like shit.”

“I know,” she sniffles wiping the tears from her eyes. “My mum wants me to get in contact with her. She hired an investigator after my father died, to track me down. He’s given me her contact details.”

“Are you going to contact her?” She doesn’t even hesitate with her answer.

“Of course.” It instantly gets my back up. “She was nothing like my father,” she says in her defence.

“Well, where has she been for the last twenty-five years of your life?” I practically scream as I stand. I feel bad when I see her flinch, but I can’t seem to control the anger that rages inside me. “If you want to do this, then you’re on your own. I want nothing to do with her.”

“Carter,” she calls out to my retreating back as I storm towards my bedroom. I’m not sure why this has made me so angry. Maybe my nerves are just frazzled from everything I’m going through with Indi. Maybe it’s something else.

As I sit on the side of my bed and bury my face in my hands, memories of that day flash through my mind. Why did you bring that little bastard here? Get him out of here. Don’t you ever bring him here again. It’s funny, it’s been nineteen years, but it’s still as fresh in my memory like it happened yesterday. I hate that motherfucker. I’m glad he’s dead. He ruined my fucking life and broke my mother’s heart. That may be harsh, but that’s exactly how I feel.

“Carter,” my mum says knocking on my bedroom door. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” I reply. I shouldn’t be mad at her. She’s the biggest victim in all of this. They were her parents. They let her down when she needed them most. “I’m sorry, Mum,” I say, making eye contact with her when she comes and sits beside me on the bed.

“You have nothing to be sorry about sweetheart.” Her voice is soft when she speaks. She raises her hand and gently rubs it over my back. “You’re right. He did a number on both of us. My mother was nothing like him though. You need to understand he was very controlling. She had no say in any of this. She was devastated when he kicked me out. She tried to reason with him, but he wouldn’t listen. He never did. He was very stubborn. The day I left the house, she broke down. She handed me an envelope that contained two thousand dollars. She’d been saving money over the years without my father’s knowledge. She also gave me some of her jewellery to sell if I needed more money. It wasn’t much, but it was all she had. It helped me get by until I could find a job. It gave me a place to stay and food to survive. Without that, I would’ve ended up on the street.”

I sit and listen to everything she says, but I’m still not happy about this whole situation. She’s had no contact from her mother in all these years. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a little late to try and make up for it now.

“Things were different back then,” she continues. “Having sex before marriage, having a baby out of wedlock … it was taboo, shunned upon. My father was very religious and old school. He was also a proud man. His reputation meant everything to him. Unfortunately, what people thought of him turned out to be more important than the welfare of his own daughter and grandchild. For that I can never forgive him. My mum, though? She was different, Carter. When you meet her, you’ll see exactly what I mean.”

“Like hell I’m meeting her,” I snap. “If you want to, go right ahead, but I want nothing to do with this.”

“Carter,” she says in a shocked tone. “Please. I need you with me. I’m not sure if I can do this on my own. It’s been nearly twenty-five years since I’ve seen her. I think this would be good for you, for both of us. It’s time to let go of the past, sweetheart. It’s time to heal.” I exhale a defeated breath. I’ve never been able to say no to her, and that pleading look in her eyes tells me I’ll be going to meet this fucking woman, whether I want to or not. Fuck.

••••

My mum called her mother later that afternoon. Apparently she was over the moon to hear from her and they talked and cried on the phone for over two hours. She wanted us both to come over straight away. There was no way I was going to drop everything and run to her, even if that’s what my mum wanted. My first priority was Indi, and frankly, if I could put this unwanted reunion off, I was gonna delay it as much as I could.

As the days passed though, my mother’s pleas became too much. I finally relented and agreed to go with her late Wednesday afternoon. I haven’t discussed it with Indiana yet. I’ll wait and see how the meeting goes first. I don’t want to upset or worry her unnecessarily. I have no idea what to expect when I get there. Going by our visit all those years ago, I don’t hold out much hope.

My mum has arranged for us to be at her mother’s house at 3:00pm, for afternoon tea. Fuck that. I won’t be eating shit when we get there, that’s even if we make it through the front door. It’s just after 2:00pm, so we’re going to need to leave soon. It’s a forty-minute drive to her parents’ house.