I pulled up the number for my favorite Chinese place and handed her the phone. “Order what you want.”

She clapped her hands excitedly before taking the phone from me and putting it to her ear. “You want something too?” I shook my head and she shrugged as she waited for someone to answer on the other end.

While she ordered, my doorbell rang again. I gritted my teeth, not wanting my OCD to go into overdrive when I had a mystery guest sitting in my living room. Then I realized that whoever was at the door was ringing it enough times.

“That’s Mom,” my guest lowered the phone from her mouth and muttered before returning to ordering enough food to feed a small nation. How the hell was she going to eat all that?

Shaking my head at her, I stood and slowly made my way to the door. I had no clue who was going to be on the other side, but at least they hadn’t put my OCD into overdrive. Glancing back at the kid who was still ordering food—six egg rolls, and I had no idea where the fuck was she going to put them—I opened the door.

I knew it was her as soon as the door started to open. I felt it in my bones and not just because she pushed hard on the door, knocking the damn thing into my shin. My entire body was like an Annabelle detector and as soon as we were sharing the same air, I could feel her. She blew into my apartment like a hurricane, pushing past me as if I weren’t even there, and stormed into the living room.

Rubbing at the sore spot on my leg, I followed after her. The kid had finished ordering her food and was staring patiently up at Annabelle. Even from where I was standing, I could see the amusement dancing in her eyes. “Mieke, what the fuck are you doing? Do you realize how scared I was when Noah called me? Do you?”

“Hi, Mom. It’s so good to see you too.” She grinned and Annabelle stumbled over whatever she had been about to say. I stood in the doorway, confused as hell. Annabelle grabbed hold of the girl who had just called her ‘Mom’ and pulled her to her feet and then into a hug that should have squeezed the breath out of the kid.

“You are in so much trouble, do you hear me?” Annabelle was still raging even as she hugged the kid, but I thought I heard a small sob in her voice. “I’m grounding you until the end of time. I was so scared when Noah called. You can’t do shit like this to me.” Finally she pulled back, staring down at the girl who was her freaking daughter. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Mom.” The girl glanced my way and smiled. “I told you she would be here soon.”

Annabelle stiffened as if just then realizing I was in the room. What was she expecting? I fucking lived there, after all. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. What the fuck? I hadn’t done a damn thing to her to earn that icy glare. “What did she tell you?” she snarled.

“Nothing,” the girl assured her mother. “Honest, Mom. I was waiting on you.”

The two females shared a long look I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand any of this. Motherfucking hell, I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Annabelle had a daughter. She had a kid. A. Kid. Someone other than me had touched her. I’d always known she would find someone else. It was something I’d told myself I wanted for her—and yeah, I’d had nightmares about the faceless sonofabitch who would one day take my place in her heart. Still, I’d known she deserved so much better than my fucked-up ass. But having the proof of what I’d wanted for her thrown down my throat like this was like having my chest sliced open with a katana.

Knowing the girl was Annabelle’s daughter had me taking a closer look at her. Now I understood why her eyes had held me so entranced. They weren’t Annabelle’s clear blue that I loved so much, but the shape was exactly like hers. So were her nose and those lips. Those were the only similarities that mother and daughter shared, meaning the girl favored her father…

Motherfucking hell. Shit. Oh shit. This kid—this teenaged girl… How old was she?

Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. All the oxygen left my lungs and I couldn’t suck in another breath. My gaze met the green and gold eyes that I knew were reflected back at her. She was so beautiful.

And mine.

Annabelle and I had made love three times the night before I’d left and we’d used a condom every time, I reminded myself. But… Fuck, the but was killing me. There had been that one time during the night when I’d gone twice without changing condoms. Fuck.

How had I not known she existed? She had to be sixteen years old and I was just now setting eyes on her. How…?

Motherfucker.

Memories of Annabelle being so desperate to contact me flooded my mind. The letter she had sent and I’d returned unopened because I’d been terrified of reading about how much she hated me for abandoning her. She hadn’t tried to contact me for months after that. I hadn’t heard another word from her until a few weeks after Gramps had died. She’d somehow gotten Rich’s number and started calling him daily. Rich had gotten frustrated with her and finally told me to call her, but I hadn’t. Too much of a pussy. There was no way I could call her and still stay sane. I’d wanted to hear her voice so damn bad, but I couldn’t call her. She deserved better than me. After that, there hadn’t been so much as a murmur from her until five years later. Rich had said Annabelle had been hysterical, and now I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened.

Ah, God, I’d fucked up. Fucked up so badly.

Nausea rolled in my stomach. I’d not only fucked up with Annabelle, but I’d evidently fucked up with my kid, too. I’d lost out on so much of her life and I had no one to blame but myself.

“I think he knows,” my daughter-motherfucker, my daughter—whispered to her mother.

Annabelle’s blue eyes glared without sympathy at me from across the room. “Yeah, looks like it. Took him long enough.”

C HAPTER S EVENTEEN

Annabelle

I knew the second he connected all the dots and found the truth. I didn’t have to see his eyes to know they were completely green now. He’d gone past his normal boundaries and he wasn’t coping well with what my daughter—our daughter—had thrown into his lap. His face twisted in agony and I was pretty sure he’d stopped breathing.

I took a sick sense of pleasure knowing how destroyed he was in that moment. That was the same feeling I’d had when I’d discovered I was pregnant two months after he’d left me without a backward glance and with a broken promise. That was how I’d felt when I’d fallen when I was six months pregnant and had been so scared I was going to lose my precious baby. And it was how I felt times ten million when five years later I’d nearly lost my reason for living.

Every time, I had tried to tell him what was going on, but he couldn’t be bothered to return my calls or even open a damn letter. Memories of pulling that letter out of the mailbox, the red stamp on the front saying ‘return to sender’ without it having been opened, still had the ability to slice at something deep inside of my heart. I’d needed him so much during those terrifying times and he wouldn’t give me so much as five minutes of his time.

My pleasure at his destruction lasted only five seconds. I couldn’t stand there, watching the man who still owned part of my soul falling into the abyss I knew he was so frightened of. His body started to shake and he took a stumbling step toward us. My instinct was to protect my child and I stepped in front of Mieke. He shook his head as if to clear it as he moved past us.

“Don’t leave,” he muttered. “Please…just don’t leave.”

Zander stumbled down the hall and struggled to open a door. Seconds later I heard him retching and my heart ached. Swallowing hard, I turned to face my kid. Concern darkened her green and gold eyes. “Is he going to be okay?” she whispered.