And his hand on my…

Oh. God. It was almost comical.

Choking on a hysterical laugh, I lifted my head to see who’d caught us. If there was a way to contain this, so we could tell my father and Derek properly, that would be ideal. “I know how this looks, but this is a big—” I cut off midsentence because it was, of course, the biggest gossip this side of Arlington. “Lucy…please. Wait.”

“Excuse me for interrupting,” she said quickly, her tone mock-apologetic. Her gaze, however, took in every inch of our sordid position. “This is clearly a family matter.”

Jackson stiffened behind me and tossed my dress down over my bare rear end. He pulled out of me and stepped back, giving Lucy quite the view. A view she took full advantage of. He tugged his boxers up. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

Lucy tittered. There was no other word for it. “Indeed, I do believe it is.”

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Jackson said quickly. I could have told him not to waste his time. She wouldn’t even wait until she was fully into the ballroom to tell everyone what she saw. “It was a momentary lapse in judgment.”

Lucy backed off, still transfixed on Jackson’s crotch as he pulled his pants into place. She licked her lips and pressed a hand to her stomach. “I won’t tell anyone…if…we…you…”

Growling, I stepped toward her, hands curled into fists, putting myself between her and Jackson. I knew exactly what she wanted, and she wouldn’t be getting it. “Get out of here before I scratch your eyes out.”

Gasping, Lucy picked up her skirts and ran.

Jackson spun on me, anger clearly written all over his face. “What the hell? I could’ve—”

“No. You couldn’t have.” I smoothed my dress over my stomach and fixed my strap. “She’s the biggest gossip in Arlington. By the time we walk out there, everyone will know. It’s over.”

He covered his face and paced. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit.”

I watched him panic, dread settling in my stomach, too. “We can explain. We can go out there, tell Daddy what happened, and—”

“Explain what?” he snapped. He didn’t look relieved, like I felt. He didn’t seem happy that our secret was out, or that we didn’t have to keep hiding. He dropped his hands, and his gaze met mine, and the shame and guilt I saw in his sent a knife of pain piercing through my chest. “I did it again. I ruined everything. I ruined you.”

Suddenly, his behavior made sense. He didn’t know I wanted to be with him. That I chose him. That I didn’t care if the whole world knew. I had to tell him. “No. Jackson, I—”

The door flew open, and Derek stood there, trembling with rage. “How dare you?”

I flinched. “I…”

“We can—” Jackson started to say, but he cut himself off. When Jackson saw Derek, breathing hard, it was as if a switch went off in his head. The Jackson I knew and loved went away with the blink of an eye, and a cocky stranger took his place. “Derek. It’s about time you came. We just came, too…literally.”

I gasped. “Jackson. What are you doing?”

“You low-life son of a bitch.” Derek took one look at me, another at Jackson, and sprang into action. “You know what’s at stake!” He swung for Jackson.

Even though I knew he could, Jackson didn’t duck to miss the blow. Derek’s knuckles connected with Jackson’s nose, and he stumbled back, not even flinching. Blood spurted out of his nose, but Jackson didn’t swipe it away. He just grinned. “Is that all you’ve got, Derek?”

Derek growled and swung at Jackson again, connecting with his stomach this time. “I’ll kill you, you son of a bitch.”

Jackson doubled over, wheezing for a second before straightening. Once he steadied himself, he cocked his brow and laughed. “That was a little better,” he wheezed. “Try again, harder this time. You can do it. Go on. Kill me.”

Derek stumbled back, eyeing Jackson as if he were a monster. “You’re insane.”

“Yeah, and I just fucked your fiancée. What are you going to do about it?”

Derek went red in the face.

“Jackson, stop it!” I cried, jumping between the two men. I didn’t know what was going on inside Jackson’s head, but he obviously sought out punishment for what we’d done. “Stop it right now.”

Derek shoved me out of the way, and I crashed into the closet wall, taking a broom down with me. Derek froze. “Lilly, I’m so—”

Something inside Jackson snapped. He launched himself at Derek, slamming him into the wall, easily holding him in place with a forearm across his throat. “What did I tell you about hurting her? Huh? What did I say?”

Derek fought Jackson’s grip, but it was useless. “You two act like you’re the only ones suffering here. Like it’s only about you. What about me, huh? What about what I want?”

“I don’t give a shit what you want.” Jackson pressed his forearm even harder into Derek’s throat, and Derek’s eyes went all wide. “I only care about what she wants, and she wants to save Hastings. And, goddamn you, you’re going to let her.”

Derek flailed and scratched at Jackson’s arms, but Jackson didn’t let up. Derek went pale, then red, and then pale again. I watched with horror, struggling to get to my feet, but my long dress kept tangling around my legs. When I finally got to my feet, Derek’s lips were turning an alarming shade of blue, and I finally snapped into motion.

Grabbing Jackson’s hard, unyielding arm, I pulled as hard as I could. “Jackson, stop! You’re hurting him!”

Jackson growled at me over his shoulder, breathing heavily, nostrils flared, and murder written all over his face. “He deserves it.”

Derek gurgled, his hands dropping to his sides as the fight slowly left him.

“Stop, please.” I choked on a sob. “You can’t kill him. He’s my fiancé.”

That seemed to pull Jackson out of his trance. The murderous rage left his eyes, and he dropped Derek like yesterday’s trash. “Yeah. He is. Isn’t he?”

Just like that…

He walked out of the closet.

And out of my life.

Chapter 22

Jackson

I hadn’t slept a second last night. I stood in the foyer, ready to leave Lilly and everything in Arlington behind, but something held me back. All night long, I sat in the living room, waiting for her to come home. I owed her an apology, if nothing else. An explanation. I had truly wanted to kill her fiancé….

And if she hadn’t stopped me, I just might have.

Something had snapped in my brain, and I wasn’t in that closet anymore. I was back overseas, fighting for my life, and Derek had stood in my way. I lost myself in that closet, as well as my tight grip on reality that I always held close to my chest, and nothing had ever been more alarming than that. I had almost killed a man.

What the hell was I supposed to do with that?

I needed to get the hell out of here. Away from Lilly, who threw me into such an unsteady emotional state that I could snap at the blink of an eye. I needed to leave this feeling that I would never be happy behind me. I needed to…

Leave Lilly behind, too.

Once I knew she was all right.

What would be the ramifications of us getting caught? Would she still marry Derek? If not, would her father kick her out? Give her a chance to live her own life? I had to know. Had to make sure she was okay, even though I wasn’t.

The door opened and I lurched to my feet, heart thumping loudly in my head. It was the only reason I knew it hadn’t shattered apart yet. That steady beating that wouldn’t shut up. Footsteps sounded in the foyer, and I knew right away they weren’t Lilly’s. They were too long. Too cocky.