Her eyes remain closed as she comes and comes. It seems unending, and I love it. I love how she just gave her everything to me and even let me do it for her. She was waiting for me to do this, waiting for me to take control so she wouldn’t even be able to say no anymore.

I lick the sweat drops scattered across her chest, the salty taste a drug to me. Everything she is … it’s mine and only mine.

After a while, her breathing steadies and I take my hand out of her panties, zipping her up and closing the button again. I’ve done it. I’ve kept myself together and did it all for her. Just her, nobody else. I wouldn’t fucking do this for any other girl, but she … she’s something special.

Her lips part, and her eyes slowly open, but she doesn’t look at me. She just stares at the sky above, biting her lip in that sexy way that makes my cock ready to burst. Jesus Chris, the first thing I’m gonna do when I get home is blow my fucking load all over the shower. I might not be able to make it there before the cum drips out, but I’ll take care of that later.

First, I need to know what we’re going to do about this situation.

I lean down on the handlebars and gently kiss her on her collarbone. “Now tell me again … how much do you hate me?”

“A lot …” she mumbles.

I smile. “I can imagine. You must be so confused.”

“Fuck you …” she mutters, and then she sits up, gazing angrily at me. “You just did that to get into my pants.”

“No.” I cock my head. “I did it because I saw you needed some … personal attention.” I can’t help but smirk when she growls.

“I can’t believe this. I let you trick me again. God …” She places her hand on her forehead and sighs. “I shouldn’t have gone with you. I shouldn’t have gotten on this damn bike.”

“Hey.” I grab her hand and pull it away. “You don’t need to regret anything. You don’t have to do anything.” I swallow my pride. “I just wanted to do this. For you. That’s all.”

“I’m not some pathetic girl in need of an orgasm, Chris,” she says, frowning.

“I know …I mean, I just wanted to show you that I’m not just a jerk. I can think about others, too.”

She takes another deep breath as if she’s still feeling conflicted. I guess it’s not enough yet. I need to put in more effort, more of everything. More … I wish I could’ve done more before.

“Let’s get you home,” I say, and I move back on the bike and help her up.

“But I thought …”

“What?” I ask. “That you had to do something in return?”

Her cheeks flush, so I guess that’s a yes.

“Just get on,” I say, clearing my throat before I change my mind.

Because, fuck, I can already see her in front of me sucking my dick while I’m lying back on my bike. Fucking her from behind while she’s leaning over my bike. Or maybe fucking her against that tree right there. God, I really have to stop thinking about these things before I explode in my pants.

I slide forward and she sits down behind me, grasping my waist, her grip tight and soft at the same time. Just the right amount of pressure to make my cock thump. Fuck.

“We’ll get to the rest soon enough …” I muse as I turn the handle and race off.

Chapter 19

Chris

I drop her off at the building she lives in where she probably has a tiny excuse for an apartment. I would gladly take her back to my place and let her sleep in my big comfy bed, but she wouldn’t take me up on that offer if her life depended on it. She keeps looking at me with eyes that say ‘stay away,’ as if she’s afraid she can’t say no. I’m a dirty motherfucker for thinking this, but I don’t want her to say no. Too bad this little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me not to overstep her limits. I don’t want to mess this up again.

The awkward silence makes me break out in sweat. She tries to return my jacket, but I hold up my hand. “Keep it.”

“Thanks,” she says, after a while. “For bringing me home, of course.” She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear so delicately with fingers so soft I can already imagine feeling them running down my back, marking my skin with sharp nails as I fuck her hard and deep.

Okay, that’s it. Time to go.

I pull the handle and say good-bye. We exchange awkward glances and smiles, and then she turns and enters the building, which is my cue to go.

I make my way home, not giving a shit that I could get in trouble for driving without protective clothing. If I get a ticket, it’ll be worth every fucking penny. Even now, I’m still gloating, thinking about her moans, how she writhed underneath me and begged for her release. God, she’s so fucking perfect for me. A rebel with a mind so sharp, she picks me up every time I fail, and she’s always aware of the things I do. She cares more than she lets on, but it’s enough that I know. I won’t let her remove herself from the equation again; I owe it to her to make it right.

When I arrive at my bungalow, I park the motorcycle in my garage and head straight for the shower. Fuck, I’m so hot; I need a release.

Throwing off my clothes, not caring where they land, I pass my bedroom where I notice a picture of Em on my nightstand. I’m drawn toward it, picking it up as my pants drop to the floor. Naked and rigid I stand in my bedroom, gazing at her pretty smile. A picture when she and I were still together; back when she could still smile without regrets. I miss that Emily. The Emily who didn’t feel she needed to punish herself for wanting me.

She says we’re wrong together, but I’ll prove to her that we’re the right match.

She may hate me, but underneath all that anger is a girl desperate to forgive and move on.

My thumb brushes her lips, and I lick my lips at the sight of those pretty eyes. Fuck, they shine bright like diamonds, luring me in.

Before I know it, my other hand has already gripped my cock, the flesh tense and bursting with need. Every vein in my shaft pulses, and I slowly start jerking myself to the thought of having her again. Kissing her was just the beginning, and I think back to that time, that one time I felt her velvety pussy milking my cock. Fuck, I want it so much. I can’t help myself. Sweat rolls down my back as I rub my dick until it bounces in my hands, desperate for release. Fuck, if she’d only see me now. I’m dirty, pathetic … scum for even imagining myself coming all over her face.

She’s picture perfect, and I ruined her and her life.

I don’t deserve her.

Growling, I let go of my cock, which tips to the side, pre-cum dripping on the carpet, cum almost bursting from my crown. In a flash of anger, I throw the frame on the bed, grinding my teeth. I can’t do it. I can’t fucking do it. Not like this. I’m not the pathetic son of a bitch I tell myself I am. I will prove myself wrong. I can be a better man for her, a man who can wait for her, who’ll drive her mad with lust without losing himself in the process. I’ll fucking fight the desire until I have her underneath me, begging me to come inside her.

I won’t have it any other way.

With a hard dick, I walk to the shower and turn it to ice cold before I step under. The water hurts my shoulders and my hard-on, but I need it to cool off. I fight the demons of my past, and the angel in my life who prefers me gone. Wishing I could change it all is useless. I just have to stop thinking about it for now. What I need is sleep, and lots of it. Tomorrow’s a big race, and I haven’t even checked my bike yet. I really need to step up my game if I want to keep both my career and the girl of my dreams.

When I’m clean and no longer rock-hard, I saunter to the bedroom and pick up the picture lying on my bed. I set it back on the nightstand facing toward my pillow, so she’ll always remind me to stay true to myself … and hopefully to keep the nightmares away.

***

In my dreams, I’m revisiting the past. Memories of Emily and me sitting at the dining room table with my mom and her dad flash by. Awkwardness, and lots of it, fills the room. No one dares to talk. We exchange fake smiles, but when dessert is served, I have had enough. I burst out in anger. I try to stop myself, but it’s impossible. I don’t know where all this rage comes from, but it’s like an unending eruption, the volcano inside me shooting fire at everyone in my path. I’m angry with my mother for picking another man over my father and then sitting here and pretending it’s all right.