“No. It’s not.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“What, Lucas? You think you’re good enough for her? You think we didn’t see the bags under her eyes? The way she looked at you from across the room when all you did was flaunt your pussy party in front of everyone. You think that’s what love is? I sure as hell don’t. She’s a good girl, she always has been. She doesn’t need your shit, she also doesn’t deserve it.”

I sat there speechless. I couldn’t form the words that I wanted to express so deeply. It wouldn’t change anything. The damage was already done.

He nodded, knowing he got to me. “Exactly.”

I took one last look at him, leaned back into the couch, and turned on the TV.

“Hey,” Austin greeted from behind me. I turned to face him.

“Hey.”

He sat down next to me on the bench at the pier.

“Whatcha doin’ over here by yourself?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I come here to think.”

I hadn’t seen Lucas or the boys since Christmas break. They were coming home for spring break in a few weeks, except it was college spring break not high school. So who knew how much time I would get to spend with them. I was excited nonetheless. We hadn’t talked about what happened before he left for school. Not one word. It was like it didn’t happen, except it replayed in my mind like a broken record. Apparently he didn’t have the same problem, but to give him the benefit of the doubt, Lucas always had the ability to hide things better than me. I hoped this was the case.

“About Lucas?”

I immediately looked over at him, stunned and dismayed.

He reassuringly smiled with an arched eyebrow and a mischievous look on his face. “It’s okay, Half-Pint, I’m not Jacob or Dylan. All I want is for you to be happy with Lucas, with Cole, shit even with a chick if that floats your fancy.”

I chuckled. “No girls.”

He laughed. “A guy can dream, right?”

I grinned, nudging him with my shoulder. “How long have you known?”

“Long enough.”

I nodded with understanding as I turned to look back out over at the water.

“The boys—”

“I know. In all fairness though, they’re just looking out for you. It’s what we’ve always done. It’s not coming from a bad place.”

“I know.”

“I don’t think you do, I know you, Alex. I’ve known you as long as I’ve known them. You and Lucas have always had a special bond. When I was a kid, I used to be jealous of it, not because I wanted you in that way or anything, you’re like my little sister and that applies to all of us. Except you and Lucas complete each other. You balanced each other out in a way that we all do for one another, but you had your own dynamic going on.”

I nodded in understanding. I felt like he wanted to say more to me and I didn’t want to ruin it by talking.

“I’ve always felt like the odd man out with the rest of the boys, I’m the youngest. I guess that’s why I try to do everything to the extreme. I need to make up for it or something.”

“Austin,” I murmured, completely surprised and taken aback. “I never knew you felt that way.”

“I’m good at hiding things, we have that in common. The boys have never made me feel like that by any means. It’s still there though. You know Lucas always tells me that we’re a lot alike, and I never understood what he meant until they left,” he paused, reflecting on what he was about to say to me. “Both of us wanting to be one of the boys.”

I gazed at the side of his face. “I’ve never thought that about you. Not ever.”

“And I’ve never thought that about you, but it doesn’t change the fact that you felt that way, does it?”

“No,” I half-whispered.

He sadly smiled and bowed his head for a few seconds, only looking back up when he was ready. “I graduate in a few months.”

“Three months,” I stated. I knew because I counted down the days until I would really be alone. It was a ticking time clock in my head.

He glanced at me, smiling, and it eased the worry I felt in my heart.

“You going to miss me, Half-Pint?”

“Always,” I bellowed, my eyes blurring.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest, kissing the top of my head and letting his lips linger. “I will always be here for you, it doesn’t matter where I am. I will always take care of you, and I will always love you. You’re my Half-Pint,” he vowed, his voice breaking.

I sniffed. “Ditto.”

“One day we won’t care what the boys think about us or what we do. On that day, we will both be extremely happy.”

I wanted to say I was happy, but I would be lying. It broke my heart that for all these years he had felt this way and I had no idea.

Did the boys?

“So… it’s Saturday night and Charlie’s throwing one of his raging parties. Let’s go,” he demanded, standing up and reaching his hand out for me. “No.” He shook his head before I could answer.

“I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuses about this or that. You will have fun with me. You will drink. You will dance. You will party. And that’s a fucking order.”

I giggled and rolled my eyes. “Okay.”

We spent the next several hours enjoying the night. It was the first time I could ever remember truly letting loose and experiencing being a teenager in high school.

I laughed.

I drank.

I danced.

I did everything Austin ordered me to do. I loved him even more than I did because of it. I never thought that could even be possible.

“Stop walking so fast,” I rambled, holding onto Austin’s hand.

“Stop walking so slow,” he replied, slightly slurring.

“Hurry your asses up!” Someone yelled from in front of us.

“Where are we going?” I asked, already forgetting what he told me.

“The cops are coming, the party is being relocated.”

“Oh yeah,” I laughed.

He opened my car door for me and closed it when I was firmly seated inside. He jumped into the driver’s side, throwing the car into reverse, and my body jerked forward from the momentum.

“Turn the music on,” I heard him say.

I had a hard time finding the knobs, my vision blurry and unclear.

“Half-Pint, you’re drunk,” he chuckled right along with me.

“I love this song!” I shouted when I found the station I wanted. I started to dance around in my seat, while Austin banged on the steering wheel, dancing right along with me. We stopped at a red light or maybe it was a stop sign.

I leaned back into my seat and lazily looked over at him. “I love you, Austin. I love you so so so much.”

He looked over at me. “I love you more. I will always take care of you and don’t ever fucking forget that. Now put your fucking seatbelt on.”

“Oh yeah,” I sloppily grabbed the strap behind my head as the car started to move again. “It won’t go in the buckle,” I giggled.

“Here.” He took it out of my hands. “Grab the wheel.”

“Mmm kay.” I tried to hold onto it, but the road looked really fuzzy. “Austin, I don’t think I should be doing this.”

“I’m almost done.”

I looked down for a second. At least it seemed that way. “You need to put your seatbelt on, too,” I hiccupped.

“Done.”

I smiled and faced forward, as he grabbed the steering wheel again. I went back to dancing around and so did he.

“Austin, you pussy, can’t you drive faster than that,” the car next to us shouted. I squinted my eyes to see who it was.

“If I beat you to the woods, you pay for all the beer.”

“You’re on!” Austin yelled back.

“I don’t think—”

“Hey, what were the rules?” he reminded with a huge smile on his face, he appeared so happy. I still hurt from the conversation we had earlier that I didn’t want to dampen his spirits. If he felt anything like how I felt in the last few years, then he deserved this as much as I did.

“To have fun,” I beamed.