But I guess time really didn’t wait for anyone. Another hard lesson I had to learn because of him. I didn’t want to blame him for everything that had gone wrong, but it was kind of hard when he wasn’t here to defend himself.

I pulled over into the gas station because this wasn’t a conversation I could have while driving. Do I tell her the truth or a lie? A quick look in the rearview mirror told me this wasn’t just a random question.

God, she’s only three.

It wasn’t supposed to be time. I parked and took a deep breath before I turned to the back seat to face her. “Ken, your father is—”

I stopped short when I noticed an extremely large man, wearing all black in the middle of summer, hunched over and peering into the car window where my daughter sat. She silently stared back as her body tensed.

“Who the fuck are you?” I screamed though the windows were closed.

When his hand reached for the door handle I scrambled to hit the lock button which was when I noticed a second man, equally dressed in black, standing next to my door with a handgun pointed directly at my head in the middle of broad daylight.

“If you so much as bat a fucking eyelash, I will blow your brain through your ears, got me?”

“Mommy!”

“Kennedy!” Ignoring the warning, I whipped around to see my daughter fighting the large gnarly hands lifting her out of her car seat. “Take your hands off my daughter!”

Everything happened fast. Too fast. And the worse part was I didn’t even know why. I screamed for help, but nothing came. Not the sound of my voice or a good Samaritan.

Only pain.

The last thing I remembered was the ringing of my ears drowning out my daughter’s screams for me.

CHAPTER FOUR

KEENAN

“KEEP YOUR ASS still, Lacy.” Or was it Lucy?

“I can’t,” she whined and wiggled her ass. “It hurts.”

I suppressed the temptation to shove her off my table and instead, pressed the needle deeper into her skin. Her hiss of pain was music to my ears, and even now, I could feel my dick hardening.

There were two types of people when it came to pain. Those who received it and those who gifted it.

Let’s just say, I’ve become one generous motherfucker.

“Still¸” I ordered again, this time lower and deeper, letting her know I was serious, “or get the fuck off my table.”

She murmured an apology and managed to keep still while I finished up the last of the large butterfly tattoo, stereotypical of women who failed to realize when it had gotten old. Normally, I would have turned her away, but the desperate need for a distraction called for desperate measures.

“Five-hundred,” I ordered after wrapping up her tat. “Pay up and get out.”

A tattoo as easy as hers wouldn’t cost nearly as much as I was charging, but I was in that kind of mood.

She made a small pout but wisely, didn’t argue. She knew better than that. The reputation I’d built up over the last four years preceded me.

“Don’t worry. I left you a little extra ass candy.”

“Really?” she squealed. The stupid bitch actually turned, hoping to see her tattoo. Fucking airheads.

“Listen, Lucy—”

“Lacy.”

“I have shit to do and you’re holding me up.” I snapped my fingers for the money, ready to toss her out on the street with or without the money.

“Oh, um…”

I peered down at her and felt my jaw clench. “Fucking A. You don’t have the money, do you?”

“Not—not quite that much.”

“How… much?”

“Two.”

“Leave the money on the table and get out. Don’t come back.” I was already turning away, expecting her to be gone sooner rather than later.”

“Oh, wait! I know.”

You have no fucking idea.

I kept moving to my back office with her on my heels. My mood only darkened when I sat behind the large mahogany desk, and she followed me to her knees.

“Last chance. Leave,” I warned.

“But don’t you want me to pay you first?” She ran her hands up my legs and even with my jeans separating us, my body ran cold. “I’ve got something better than money,” she purred.

“Oh, yeah?” I ran my fingers through her hair. “What’s that?”

“Let me show you,” she replied as she attempted to unbuckle my belt. My hands stopped her as I leaned forward.

“You want to suck?” She licked her lips and dropped her head forward, but my hand suddenly in her hair stopped her as I used her hair as a leash. “I asked you a fucking question.”

“Yes. I want to suck.”

I let my smile take over my features, which seemed to bring her ease. “Well, then suck you shall. But it won’t be my dick.”

“You want me to suck someone else?”

I suppressed the urge to shake my head. These Hollywood sluts have little shame.

“I want you to stick those pouty little lips,” I pointed to where the pipe stuck out from the wall, “on that rusty pipe over there.”

“What?”

“Now. Suck that pipe, Lacy. Make it feel good.”

“But I could get sick,” she whined.

“I simply don’t give a fuck. I gave you the chance to leave.” When she continued to hesitate, I lost the last bit of patience I had. “Do it or I make you, and I can’t guarantee you’ll still have all your teeth when I’m through.”

She stood to her feet and crossed the room to the pipe. I watched her long enough to see her lower to her knees before picking up my cell. When the voice on the other end spoke, I wasted no time digging in her ass. “What did I tell you about sending your slut bucket friends to my shop and promising them a discount?”

“Isn’t that like the pot calling the kettle black?”

“Come again?”

“If anyone is a slut, it’s you… King Slut.”

I sat back in my desk chair feeling more annoyed with each second that passed... “Where did you hear this?”

“During my recent short but pleasurable stay in the lovely town of Six Forks.”

“I haven’t been there in four years, Di.”

“Yes, but apparently, you’re a legend because the ladies still curse your very existence and your dick.”

“Well, maybe it’s time I stop sending you there. I pay you to get useful information, not gossip.”

“Isn’t it the same thing?’

“Depends on who you’re talking to.” I held my breath, waiting, as only the sound of her breathing passed through the phone.

“I didn’t see him.”

“Of course not. He’s probably still being a studious college twat for his little princess.”

“Keiran? A twat? Studying?”

“You don’t know him so don’t pretend you do.”

“So why did you send me back to that hot ass place if you knew he wouldn’t be there?”

“I didn’t tell you to stop sucking,” I barked to the blonde when she lifted her head.

“My jaw hurts.”

“Are you seriously getting a blow job while you’re talking to me?”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m done talking.” Before I could end the call, I heard her shout to wait. “What?”

“It was for her, wasn’t it?

“And if it was?”

“I would have to say I’m curious why? I mean it’s obvious you still love her judging by the large sketch on your office wall. Kind of sweet but a little obsessive.”

“I guess I had a moment of weakness. It’s a common trait for sluts.” I hung up the phone and closed my eyes before opening them. My gaze traveled to the sketch I drew of Sheldon the night I took her virginity. She was fast asleep, and even after the things I’d done to her body, she still somehow looked pure.

I reflected on the last four years, and for the millionth time, I wondered about all that I might have missed. Was she still the same? Was she better or worse?

Was I?

Not for the first time, I wondered if the life I led was worth anything. My only other option had been to continue living the life I had before leaving. Eighteen years was a long time to live a lie. I couldn’t sacrifice more time to it.