He takes off his coat and drapes it around my shoulders. Physically, it’s warm and comforting, but it’s more than just that. I turn to him.

“I’ve been having flashbacks to that night. I see everything all over again, like I’m really there. I feel the fire. I smell the smoke. I can’t breathe.” Tears stream down my face. “I know I’m not really there, but it consumes me. And I haven’t told anyone, because I should be getting better, not worse, and I’m not. Something is wrong with me, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You should never have taken me out.”

His eyebrows push together, and there is so much emotion in his brown eyes. “Haley,” he whispers. “Don’t say that. What happened was awful. I don’t think there is anything wrong with you, either.”

I shoot him an incredulous look. “Look at me! I’m on a date with you, and I’m sitting in the grass, shaking and crying. I should be posting pictures and feeling happy and excited but I’m not! I don’t feel anything!” I push up onto my feet and stare at the mountains in the distance. I’m feeling so disoriented right here and now, and I can’t trust myself to think rationally.

The flashbacks, the extreme embarrassment, the worry about money and how the hell I’m going to afford the formula for the foal…it’s too much. I’ve reached my breaking point, and I just happened to reach it while on a date with one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors.

I bite my lip and try to suck back the tears. Aiden is watching me, standing a few feet back. I can’t look at him, can’t see horror and regret in his eyes. I turn and realize the only horror and regret is my own. Aiden is looking at me like he knows exactly how I feel.

Chapter 10

A tear rolls down her cheek and she bites her lip, trying not to cry. Then her face breaks and her shoulders slump forward. I stand there, shaking, terrified of the raw emotion. My heart breaks for her and I rush forward, wrapping her in my arms as she sobs. It’s beautiful and it’s tragic, and in that moment, I’ve never felt anything more real.

The pain. The sorrow. Her loss. The darkness I try to hard to keep out, that I fight tooth and nail but can never fully avoid. I hold her and feel it all. It swarms around me, filling me, hurting me, opening my eyes. I realize everything I’ve done to desperately hold it together slowly chipped away at me until there was nothing left, nothing but a shell of a man with an empty heart that I never though was capable of feeling anything but hurt. A heart I thought was never worthy of a second chance, was never capable of redemption.

It’s then that I realize I never, ever want to let her go.

And it’s crazy, because I don’t know her—really know her—but there is something so intimate about holding someone as they cry. It exposes so much, and you can’t hold back as the tears fall and the sadness comes out in waves. I feel my own eyes mist over. I close them and cradle Haley close to me.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” I tell her. “I promise you that.”

“Look at me,” she repeats. “Have you ever had a date end this way?”

“Our date didn’t even start,” I say. “And hey, you didn’t go crazy and shave your head, so I say you’re doing all right.”

She laughs, and her arms slowly wrap around me. Something inside me relaxes. I sit and pull her onto my lap and we stay there in silence for a few minutes. Gently, I push her hair out of her face. “Want that drink now?” She laughs again and nods.

“I need that drink now.” She stands up and wipes her eyes, smearing her makeup across her cheeks. “And really, I won’t hold it against you or call the tabloids on you if you drop me off at home and call it a night.”

Tabloids? The word is jarring. For a few minutes I was the real Aiden again…and I didn’t mind. “It’s up to you, Haley. I’m not mad or upset, so don’t worry. I don’t like seeing you sad, and if you’d like, I want to try and cheer you up.”

“I’d like that.”

I stand and drape my arm around her. “Are you hungry? I can go get the food.”

“I am. And thanks, Aiden. I…I don’t know.”

“What?” I probe.

“I’m surprised by your kindness.”

“Ouch,” I say with a chuckle. “Thanks?”

She smiles and takes a step toward the restaurant. “Hey, you can’t really blame me, can you?”

I can’t, because I’ve fooled the world—and at times, myself—about who I really am. The partying, the women, the excessive spending, and run-ins with the American law…okay, so maybe I had a reputation. “No, I can’t. But I’m glad I surprised you.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind staying?” she asks for the third time, making me question if she wants me here. She’s the one who invited me inside once we got back to her house, and she’s the one who’s leading me up the stairs and into her bedroom.

“I don’t. If it makes you feel any better, I have nothing else to do.” She shoots me a look then gives me a half smile. We ate our food in the parking lot of that restaurant, looking at the stars that stretched across the dark night sky. Neither of us spoke much, but having her next to me was enough. “And I’ve never seen a baby horse,” I add.

“Your clothes will get dirty,” she adds.

“I can buy new ones.”

“Fair enough.”

The stairs creak as we go up to the second story. There are three doors off the landing. She goes to the one directly across from us and pauses. “This was my room from when I was a kid,” she starts. “I didn’t think I’d still be here after college.”

I feel a smile pulling up the corners of my lips. “Are you trying to warn me that you have Minnie Mouse wallpaper or something?”

“Worse,” she says, opening the door. The room is dark, and I can only make out the black shapes of a bed and dresser. She goes in and flicks on the light.

“Oh,” I say with a laugh. “It is worse.”

“Shut up,” she tells me with a hint of a smile. I step in behind her and look at the pink walls covered with posters and photographs of horses. Ribbons she’d won at shows line the perimeter of the walls. The purple and white bedspread is messily laid out over the bed. She goes into the walk-in wardrobe and emerges a minute later in jeans and a long-sleeve black shirt. She grabs a quilt from the foot of her bed and takes me back downstairs.

Her friend Lori left soon after we came back here. The little horse was sleeping and would need to be fed again soon. That was when Haley turned to me and asked if I wanted to stay for a while and keep her company. I didn’t think twice. I agreed right away, not ready to be away from her just yet. We exit through the back of the house and walk down a gravel drive to the barn.

She slides a large door open just enough for us to squeeze through. The smell of hay, wood shavings, and something sweet hits me. Haley inhales and smiles, her eyes going to the same white horse from before, who is munching on hay and is in the stall closest to us. He sticks his head out of the open door and nickers softly.

“Hey, sweetie,” she says as she goes to him. She relaxes, and her eyes sparkle with her smile. There’s nothing fake about it. The horse lowers his head, and she turns, bracing herself against the stall door as the horse rubs his head against her.

“Is that how horses say hello?” I ask.

Haley flicks her eyes to me, looking almost as if she’d forgotten I was there. “Just this guy,” she tells me and takes a step away. “This is Shakespeare. He was my show horse back in the day, but he’s retired now.”

The next stall houses the baby horse. She’s tiny and frail and possibly the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen. She’s curled up in the back of her stall in a ball of golden fur, and she opens her eyes when we walk past. “I haven’t named her yet,” Haley tells me. “I used to…” Her voice breaks, and she mutters something to herself. I put my hand on her arm and she relaxes. “She’s the first one I’ve taken in since…since that day.”