“No, Lil. It's been over six years in the making. You've been dying a slow death in this house. Choose to live again. Come with me.”

I shook my head, trying to untangle the developments of the past few weeks.

“Lil, you’re set to move in a couple of months and I won’t—can’t—follow you around. You know that. This game we’ve been playing, we knew it could never last. It either becomes something real or we let it die. This is the fork in the road. You either commit to Rory and go to Minnesota, or you come west with me. The options couldn’t be more clear.”

“So we're just going to slip out when Rory's out of town?”

“I think it's the best way. I'll handle him. I don't want you getting the brunt of his anger.”

“I don't want you to. You guys can't lose each other over me. I never wanted to be the person to get in between you two.”

“Lil, there's no way that this ends where I have everything. I have to choose. And I choose you. And whether Rory wants it or not, I'll always be there for him.”

I took a deep breath. “How would we do this? Where would we go? Rory said you were leaving today.”

“I'm staying at the motel on 100 tonight. You can think about it on your own today. I leave tomorrow at noon. You just call me and I will come get you and we'll leave. I'm not going to smother you. I want you to make this decision on your own.”

“Tomorrow? That's so fast,” I murmured to myself. “He's gone until Thursday. That's almost a week. Why don't we wait until then? We could have this week here together. Go to the lake? Take our time.”

“Because I'm sick of stealing another week, another minute, another second. I want the rest of our lives. I want forever.”

I cupped my face in my hands as tears poured down my cheeks.

“If you can't leave with me tomorrow, if you aren't that sure about us, then this was never what I thought it was, Lil. I was just an escape for you.”

“Don't say that, Bobby,” I cried. “You were never an escape. You were my pain. You lived in my heart every day and it was never able to heal until you came back.”

Bobby knelt down in front of me, pulling my tear-soaked hands away from my face and gripping them in his. “Lil, no matter what, I'm not leaving like I did before. I'll never vanish again. I'll always be a part of your life. I will check in with you and Rory every week. I will visit. This is not a threat or an ultimatum. It's not me running away. It's me finally stopping the bullshit. Telling myself I'd be content to see you with anyone else. Or that I was okay with just one night with you. I'll never be. So it's all or nothing. And I'll leave it all for you. You understand, Lil? But I am done sharing you. And I need to be upfront with my brother. Even if he hates me for it. I'd rather be hated than a liar. But I can’t be honest with Rory if you stay with him. I won’t do that to you.”

I nodded. I believed Bobby. I didn't want to. I tried to remind myself that he left me for so many years and there was no way I should trust him again. But the day I marched down the aisle towards his brother, in his eyes, I had left him for a lifetime. Deep down, even I knew the only way Rory and I could have a fighting chance was if Bobby left. But even then, Bobby's ghost tore our marriage apart.

Bobby reached for my hand and raised me to my feet. “I'm going to go now. Because I'm not settling for pieces of you anymore. I want all of you. I want to wake up to your face every morning and not have my first thought be 'when will it end?' I want to watch you smile as we travel the coast in my truck. And then, I'll show you the world. And once I've shown it all to you, we'll find a spot where the sun always shines and the breeze always carries us, and we'll have babies who play in the water and climb the tallest trees just like we did. I want your laughter to be the rule, not the exception. And if you want to work, you can work. If you don't, that's okay, because I'll make sure we have everything we need. Rory will be in pain, but then he'll be okay, because he'll realize that his woman is out there still. That his happiness was never with you. Just like you said, we tried to do the right thing, but it was wrong. It's time to do the right thing. Even if it hurts. Even if it means we lose the things that tethered us to some sense of stability.”

I wrapped my arms around Bobby's waist and he enveloped me in his strong arms. Even in that moment of the unknown, his embrace was the safest place in the world.

“I love you,” I wept into his shirt.

“. . . since before I even knew what it was.” His voice shook as it struggled to convey strength.

But I couldn't just leap. I needed to think. This was too sudden. I had a mother and father who were still alive. Bobby didn't have to worry about shaming his parents. I had an entire life, albeit an unsatisfactory one, I had built here. I needed some time alone to think about how I could unfasten myself from the invisible anchor that held me to my station.

“You just come over. You call the motel. However you want to do it. And I will be here in a heartbeat. But I've said my piece. I won't come back and beg anymore. This is something you need to decide for yourself. If you want to come, use today to get your affairs in order. Just come or call before noon.”

I nodded as Bobby wiped a tear from my cheekbone.

“Lil, if you want to make this work, you will. It's as simple as that.”

I gripped his hand. “Please don't go,” I wept frantically. Though I had the choice, something in my gut told me I might never see him again. “Please,” I begged shamelessly.

“Lil, I'm just down the road. We both have some things we need to get in order. No matter what, this isn't goodbye forever.”

“Kiss me.”

Bobby grimaced as if it took every fiber of his being. “Not until you're done with Rory.”

Salty tears ran over my lips. There was a lot I could accept, but I couldn't accept Bobby not kissing me at this moment.

“Kiss me.”

“Lil, don't do this. It's not fair,” he begged.

I looked into his eyes, the color of the lake on a late afternoon, when the sun's reflection would dance along the ridges of water. His eyes always took me to place of warmth and comfort. I could look into his eyes, no matter where I was, and be home. But I needed more. I needed to taste his lips. I needed his strength if I was going to shed my old life like dead, useless skin.

Bobby brushed back a sweaty lock of hair that had stuck to my temple, and relented. He softly placed his lips on my mouth, sliding his tongue against mine. I peppered his full pout with kisses and gentle tugs. Then his fingers wove into my hair, balling his hand fiercely as we tasted the bittersweet of years of unspoken words from each other's lips.

“No, Lil,” he grumbled, pushing me onto the kitchen table. “We can't keep caving.” A traitor to his words, he grazed his teeth along my collarbone, then up the long curve of my neck.

“I need you,” I cooed. “I need to feel you.” To be reminded of what it was like to just be us again. Without rules.

“I can't,” he heaved as he pulled my legs apart. Bobby ran his hands up my thighs and along my nightgown, pulling up the gauzy fabric. His thumbs stopped at the crease of my thighs.

“No underwear?” he muttered.

“For you. Only for you.”

I couldn't bear Rory's touch and hadn't let him lay his hands on me since Bobby's arrival, besides the disastrous incident in the backseat of our car.

Bobby tensed up, as if he had found a new well of strength to resist me, but I needed to steal that strength. My heart needed it to coerce my mind, strong with thoughts of doubt, fear, and misguided loyalties.

I slid down the straps of my nightgown, exposing my tight breasts to him. “Suck on them, Bobby.”

He bit his own lip so hard, trying to hold back, I thought it might bleed. I reached up, and with a gentle tug against the lip with my thumb, I freed it from the battle. He closed his eyes and sighed as I glided my thumb back against his lips, coaxing it into their soft grip. The fleshiness of his pout was contrasted by the sharpness of his bite clasping the edge of my thumb, sinking his teeth into the fruit of temptation.